


Damnation Angels

by Morgana_avalon



Category: Wraeththu - Storm Constantine
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 20:14:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 74,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18395567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana_avalon/pseuds/Morgana_avalon
Summary: Velaxis sheds his old skin and grants Caeru a wish.





	1. Damnation Angels

Disclaimer: Not mine. No copyright infringement is intended. All characters belong to Storm Constantine.

Damnation Angels 

“I am resigning from your service, Thiede. My work here is done.” Velaxis stood calmly in front of Thiede and stared him in the eye. “My days of servitude are over.”

 

Thiede still felt annoyed that he hadn’t realized just how special Velaxis was at an earlier stage. Not for the first time did he wonder if he had been masterfully manipulated by Velaxis. “It was all an act, wasn’t it?”

 

Velaxis saw no reason to pretend he didn’t understand. “I played my part, yes.”

 

“And you let me order you about because that served you best.”

 

Nodding his head, Velaxis sensed that Thiede was trying to draw some sort of explanation from him and indulged him. “Yes. I let you incept me, allowed you to ‘recruit’ me for your services, and did your bidding. For decades I whored for you, gathering information that would serve you, and at the same time, I had a chance to further my own plans. Playing the whore gave me a chance to be close to all of them and they never thought twice about answering my questions.”

 

Thiede blinked. It was rare for him to show surprise so openly, but he really felt puzzled. “How much of this was arranged?”

 

“By me? Everything. I knew I had a part to play in Darq’s life and I accepted my role. Pellaz still thinks it was you who hinted he should create Darq, but in reality it was my voice he heard in his head that day.” Velaxis gave Thiede a stern look. “Don’t think about extracting any revenge on me for being manipulated, Thiede. You will find me a dangerous opponent.”

 

That thought of revenge had briefly crossed Thiede’s mind, but he quickly realized how foolish that would be. “I never foresaw Darq coming into existence,” he said, curious on how Velaxis would answer him.

 

“The Krim Sri did however.” It would be more accurate however to say that *he* had foreseen Darq’s existence. He’d always had some clairvoyant abilities.

 

“Fortunately, everything turned out all right.” Thiede’s eyes didn’t leave Velaxis’ form. The long platinum hair was braided back, revealing strong facial features. The blue eyes glowed with knowledge, knowledge that had been kept from Thiede. “What are your plans now? Will you leave Phaonica?”

 

It was none of Thiede’s business, but Velaxis indulged him again. “I am not sure what I will do. This is the first time in ages that I am free to act as I will. I am shedding my old skin and must find a new place in this world. I have no idea what the future will bring, but I do know I no longer have to humor you or the members of the Hegemony.”

 

“Caeru will sorely miss you should you leave.” Thiede had noticed the friendship that had grown between the Tigrina and Velaxis.

 

“And I will miss him,” Velaxis admitted. “But his family has returned to him. He no longer needs me. He has Pellaz, Cal, Geb, and most importantly Darq.”

 

“I am not so sure that he no longer needs you, but I won’t stop you if you are set on leaving.” The members of the Hegemony might be in for a bit of a shock however when they found out that Velaxis’ services were no longer available. “I *did* always wonder why you never objected to me giving you to them. Your reputation became that of a whore.”

 

“It was what I wanted you to do. By giving me to them, I had free access to them.” Velaxis’ gaze hardened. “You don’t understand my abilities fully. That’s why you never realized I was one step ahead of you. Even you, Thiede, do not know the full potential of aruna.” He had gathered most of the information he had needed from the minds of the hara he had been taking aruna with. Especially Ashmael who had been a reliable source of information since both Thiede and Pellaz trusted him unconditionally.

 

Thiede slowly nodded his head. Darq had confided in him about that time when Velaxis had possessed Darzu and when the dehar, Aruhani, had appeared.

 

Velaxis realized the direction Thiede’s thoughts were taking and tightened his shields. Aruhani and he had a very special relationship...one Thiede should know nothing about. “I am leaving now,” he announced and headed for the doorway.

 

“But you *will* stay a little longer in Immanion? You intrigue me, Velaxis.” Thiede wanted to find out more about the exceptional har. He had never realized exactly *who* he had incepted back then. He had simply assumed he had been dealing with a human.

 

A sly grin appeared on Velaxis’ face, but Thiede couldn’t see it since Velaxis’ back was toward him. He was finally free to be himself again and the hara who knew him would be in for a few surprises.

 

~~~

 

The first thing Velaxis did upon his return to his rooms was to soak in the bathtub for over an hour. Knowing that he no longer owed anyhar anything made him relax and he closed his eyes, trying to catch glimpses of his future. The truth was that he didn’t know what he was going to do. Although he had said that Caeru wouldn’t miss him, he knew the opposite was true. Caeru and he had become very close over the years. Caeru was also someone he had never taken aruna with. The Tigrina had never stooped so low as to order him into his bed, unlike many other hara. Rue was special to him.

 

A knock on his door disrupted his peace and, irritated, he tried to ignore it, but the har then started to call out his name. Only a few days ago, he would have been bound to answer and comply with the wishes of the har who had summoned him, but that was no longer the case. From that moment on, he could choose the hara he wanted to take aruna with.

 

Velaxis left the tub, shrugged into a silk morning robe which was embroidered with cranes, and flung the door open, hopefully scaring the har who was on the other side of it. “What is it?”

 

Paran had been startled when the door had abruptly opened, but he quickly composed himself. “The general requires your services. Get dressed. He wants you now.”

 

The sly expression returned to Velaxis’ face and he relished in saying, “You can tell your general to find himself a new whore. I am retired.” And with that, he closed the door.

 

Paran stood there in shock. What had Velaxis said? Had the har really closed the door on him? Paran knocked again, harder this time. “Velaxis, this isn’t the time to play games! Get dressed!” But to his frustration the door remained closed and Paran had no other choice than to return to Ashmael empty-handed.

 

~~~

 

Ashmael blinked. “Velaxis refused to accompany you?” That was unheard of! He had thought that Velaxis had learned his place through the years!

 

“He said that he has retired and that you should find yourself a new whore.” Paran’s features contorted as he delivered Velaxis’ message. He flinched as Ashmael’s eyes darkened. General Aldebaran was one har he didn’t want for an enemy and he pitied the fool – in this case Velaxis – who would feel the brunt of Ashmael’s anger.

 

“Someone needs to be reminded of his place,” Ashmael snarled and marched toward the doorway. And he was the perfect har to do that.

 

~~~

 

Velaxis slid into the bathtub again and cursed Paran for disturbing his thoughts. He placed a pillow between the rim of the bathtub and his head and enjoyed the peace and quiet. He was intelligent enough to know it wouldn’t last long. Ashmael wouldn’t accept a no for an answer and was probably already on his way over to his rooms. Velaxis however was looking forward to putting him in his place. He had been wanting to do so for a very long time.

 

~~~

 

Ashmael didn’t bother with knocking and simply pushed the door open. Sounds from the bathroom informed him where he would find Velaxis and he marched in there. Velaxis was relaxing in the bathtub, which was full of foam. Jasmine filled the air and Ashmael shook his head in bewilderment. “What do you think you are doing? I summoned you!”

 

Velaxis didn’t open his eyes yet. Instead he replied, “Stuff it. I don’t remember giving you permission to enter my rooms.”

 

Ashmael’s eyes widened. Had Velaxis really told him to ‘stuff it’ just now? What had gotten into the har? “I forbid you to talk to me in that manner and did you forget what you are? You are to service me when I call for you!”

 

Velaxis lazily opened his eyes and growled. “Those days are over. I suggest you leave now. You will regret it if I have to leave my bathtub.”

 

Ashmael didn’t take the warning very seriously however. “I will drag you out of there if you don’t start drying yourself off and getting dressed!” Velaxis’ blue eyes glowed dangerously, but Ashmael didn’t notice the warning. “And I mean now, Velaxis…”

 

“Listen very carefully, Ashmael Aldebaran. I told Paran and I am telling you now. I am no longer at your service. Now leave me alone. I wish to enjoy my bath.” His eyes flashed with a final warning.

 

Heading over to the tub, Ashmael prepared himself to drag Velaxis forcefully from it when something slammed into his mind and froze him in his tracks, unable to even move his little finger. Shocked, he stared at Velaxis, who was purring and caressing the foam that floated atop the water surface.

 

“I warned you and you didn’t listen. Now you must suffer the consequences.” He would keep Ashmael in that state until he had finished his bath. Hopefully doing so would get the message across to Ashmael to stop bothering him. Velaxis was very much aware of the fact that he had to set an example so the other members of the Hegemony knew that they couldn’t turn to him anymore.

 

Rage bubbled inside Ashmael and he wanted to lash out at Velaxis, but since he couldn’t move, he was forced to watch the other har as he washed his hair and then left the tub. Velaxis reached for a towel, wrapped his hair in it, and then started to dry himself off. How much longer would Velaxis keep him in this state? And how in Aghama’s name was it possible that Velaxis had this hold on him? Velaxis had never shown this ability before!

 

Velaxis dressed in a light-blue kimono and then advanced on Ashmael. He could tell that the other har was seething and grinned. “I hope you learned your lesson. Leave me alone or you will find out the other ways that I can use to restrain you.”

 

Ashmael felt life slowly return to his fingertips and toes and flexed them. “How did you do that?” he asked once he was capable of speech again.

 

“It is just one of my many hidden talents. Now kindly leave my rooms, tiahaar.” Velaxis probed Ashmael’s mind undetected by the other har and, once he was certain that Ashmael wasn’t going to attack him, turned around and picked up the brush from the vanity. “And please spread the word that I am retired.”

 

“I don’t understand any of this,” Ashmael muttered while still flexing his fingers. “How did you do that? I never realized you had such powers.” Why had Velaxis never used them to his advantage before? “Does Thiede know that you are ‘retired’?” He still remembered the day Thiede had introduced him to Velaxis before suggesting that Ashmael take aruna with the other har. Ashmael had accepted and had quickly caught on. After that, Velaxis had slept his way through the Hegemony. Ashmael couldn’t help but wonder why Velaxis had allowed them to use him given these powers. Velaxis could have easily dealt with them.

 

“Thiede knows – not that it matters. Tell them that if any of them tries to ‘summon’ me into their beds, they will regret it. And that is the last thing I am going to say regarding this matter. Leave now.”

 

Ashmael started to turn from Velaxis, but then halted and cocked his head, studying the har who was brushing his pale hair. For one moment, he wondered why he had never seen the truth before. “Who are you?” Velaxis smiled and Ashmael saw the reflection of it in the mirror. It was a mysterious smile and suddenly he shivered. Who was Velaxis? And how had he managed to fool him?

 

Velaxis wasn’t inclined to answer Ashmael though and simply gestured for him to leave, which the other har did reluctantly. The question which Ashmael had put to him had unnerved him, even though it hadn’t shown. He hadn’t wanted Ashmael to know that the question had upset him.

 

Once he was alone, he looked into the mirror. “Who am I?” he asked his reflection. “What have I become?” During the last few years he had been forced to act a certain way and that burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He could never go back to being ‘Zu’, he knew that, but who was Velaxis? Who was the har staring back at him from the mirror?

 

~~~

 

“He did what?” Cedony stared at Ashmael in bewilderment.

 

“He really said that?” Chrysm couldn’t believe Velaxis had actually resigned from Thiede’s service. It was unheard of!

 

“You probably just misunderstood.” Tharmifex fixed Ashmael with a stare.

 

Eyra, head of the Listeners, was strangely silent for a moment. He had picked up on something in the ethers, but at the time, he hadn’t known what to make of it.

 

Dree found it hard to believe that Velaxis was no longer ‘theirs’. The fair-haired har had always been at their disposal. Glave frowned and looked at Ashmael. “Did he really say those things?”

 

Ashmael raised his feet and rested them on the table. He nodded and looked at the other hara. It was another hour before Pellaz, Caeru, and Cal would join them for that day’s meeting and he had used the time to inform the Hegemony about Velaxis. He understood their surprise since he had felt it himself when Velaxis had told him. Well, Velaxis hadn’t just *told* him though. Velaxis had actually *shown* him that he was no longer available. “He did and I believe him.”

 

Tharmifex shook his head. “I shall talk to Thiede. I can’t believe he would condone this behavior.”

 

Ashmael shrugged. “You can try, but I believed Velaxis when he said that Thiede knew about it and had given him his consent.”

 

“We should take this matter to the Tigrons,” Cedony remarked, disappointed that Velaxis would no longer be of service to them. Velaxis had been a convenient means to quick and uncomplicated aruna.

 

~~~

 

Cal sensed some underlying discomfort when they entered the Hegalion, but pretended to not notice it. He preferred for them to come to him with their problems. He seated himself to Pellaz’ right while Caeru took his seat on the Tigron’s left. Thiede, who had chosen to accompany them, leaned heavily against Pellaz’ chair and watched the members of the Hegemony. Originally Cal had thought the meeting would be over quickly, but wasn’t so sure anymore. What could there possibly be to discuss now that they had peace?

 

“Tiahaara, there is a matter we would like to discuss with you.” Tharmifex, as chancellor, took the initiative.

 

“What matter?” Pellaz asked and frowned. Like Cal, he had been under the impression that all problems had been resolved.

 

“Disturbing information has reached me,” Tharmifex stated dramatically. “It appears that Velaxis has resigned from your services.” He eyed Thiede as he spoke. “That can’t be true. You gave him to us.”

 

The hair at the back of Cal’s neck stood rigid. He had heard the rumors before that Velaxis was used as a whore and that the har had actually been *gifted* to the members of the Hegemony by Thiede. It was a matter he had wanted to address for a long time, but something else had always come up. “I never quite agreed with the way you used Velaxis,” he commented and then shifted his gaze from Tharmifex to Thiede. “What possessed you to do such a thing?”

 

Thiede shrugged. “I had my reasons.” At the time, he had told Velaxis to keep an eye on the members of the Hegemony and pry information from them, but only now realized that Velaxis had only done that because it had served him too.

 

Caeru wasn’t quite sure what to make of the situation. He knew that Velaxis was nothing but a whore in their eyes and that Tharmifex and the rest despised the har, but Velaxis had always been a good friend to him. He respected Velaxis and had more than once wished that Velaxis would stick up for himself and tell them to go to hell whenever they had sent for his ‘services’. “Is it true?” Caeru asked Thiede. “Did you let him go?”

 

Thiede shrugged again. “Velaxis is free to do as he pleases.”

 

“Then it is about time, considering all the things he did for Darq throughout the years.” Cal glared at Thiede. He was still angry with the other har for enslaving Velaxis in such a humiliating way. Cal had worked as a kanene – a whore – for a short time and knew how demanding and taxing certain customers were. “If you hadn’t let him go, I would have told you to do it now and you would have complied.” Cal was prepared to defend Velaxis’ rights.

 

Pellaz lifted a hand and everyhar grew silent, even Thiede. “Each har belongs to himself. There is no matter to discuss. Velaxis should never have been yours.” But he had closed his eyes and had looked the other way during the time because he hadn’t liked the pale-haired har. “Velaxis owes no one.” But the Tigrons and Tigrina of Immanion owed Velaxis for protecting and teaching Darquiel. “Leave him alone or you will answer to us.”

 

Caeru smiled, pleased that Pellaz had included Cal and him in that speech. It was the three of them now. Velaxis might not know it, but he had found protectors in the Tigrons and the Tigrina, who would defend Velaxis’ rights.

 

~~~

 

“We need to discuss Velaxis,” Pellaz said once the four of them were alone. Thiede, Caeru, Cal, and Pellaz had retreated into the apartments the Tigrons and the Tigrina shared. The three leaders lived together these days.

 

Pellaz and Velaxis had never been friends, but Cal and Darq had strongly urged him to take action where the har was concerned. “If Tharmifex hadn’t brought it up, I would have. You can’t continue to use Velaxis that way. Darq was upset when he realized just what kind of work you had ordered Velaxis to do.” Pellaz slowly paced the room and looked thoughtfully at his old friend. “Thiede, what you did was wrong.”

 

Thiede shrugged. “I did what had to be done.” He hated admitting that he hadn’t known Velaxis’ true identity back then. “He had to be present at your court so he could watch the three of you.”

 

Pellaz bowed his head and was momentarily lost in thought, which gave Cal a chance to ask Thiede a question. “How could you not know that Velaxis was different? Didn’t you sense anything?”

 

“When I had incepted him I thought he was human. He looked human. I didn’t even know that the Krim Sri existed at that point!” Thiede knew he had been lax. It was the first time ever that someone had used him to such a degree. He was angry with himself.

 

“Can it be that you met your match in Velaxis?” Caeru asked sweetly. He could get away with saying things like that because Thiede had always favored him. Thiede’s sole reaction was a heartfelt growl. “I will take that as a yes.” It pleased him that Velaxis was *more* than he had always seemed. “I wonder about his secrets though.”

 

“I know something about him, but not enough,” Cal answered. “I doubt even Darq knows the true extent of Velaxis’ powers or his complete history.” That didn’t take away that he still wanted to be Velaxis’ champion in this matter. During the time that they had brought Darq to Phaonica, he had learned to appreciate Velaxis’ talents and personality. Velaxis was a har to Cal’s liking, even if Pellaz disliked the har. “It is a good thing that you let Velaxis go. Darq would have been mad if he had found out that you were still making him take aruna with the members of the Hegemony.”

 

“He resigned this morning,” Thiede replied. “And I didn’t stop him. I let him go.”

 

“Good. It was about time.” Caeru leaned back into the comfort of his chair and smiled happily. Their sons and highhar had returned to them and everything was peaceful for a change. Thiede was *retired* and Cal, Pellaz, and Caeru had finally come to terms with their living arrangement. The three of them were as good as chesna, which pleased Caeru immensely.

 

“I have the feeling we haven’t seen everything yet where Velaxis is concerned,” Cal murmured. “We might get to see a side of him we never saw before.”

 

~~~

 

That evening, Caeru went to his private apartment in the hope that Velaxis would visit him there. Hopefully Velaxis felt the same need as he did. Caeru wasn’t let down. Later that evening, Velaxis knocked on his door and Caeru opened it in person instead of sending a servant to answer it. “I’d hoped you would visit tonight. I would like to talk to you.”

 

“I thought you might.” Velaxis entered the room and headed for the two chairs set close to the window. Caeru and he had spent many evenings there just drinking sheh and talking.

 

The first thing Caeru noticed was the way Velaxis had dressed. He had become used to seeing the other har in flowing Gelaming robes, but Velaxis’ attire had changed. Dressed in tight, black jeans and a grey shirt, Velaxis looked like he was part of a rock band and not as a har who used to be Thiede’s right hand. “Going somewhere?”

 

Velaxis grinned as he poured sheh into their glasses before seating himself. Raising one hand, he offered Caeru the other glass. “I feel like going out tonight. Want to accompany me?”

 

Caeru sipped the sheh and sat down. “That is a very tempting offer. What if I accept?” He eyed Velaxis’ eagerly.

 

“Then we will go out together tonight,” Velaxis replied and nodded once. “But before we go out you want to ask me some questions… I can tell.”

 

Caeru smiled. “I never managed to conceal things from you. Who are you, Vel?”

 

“It is a long story, Rue. Let’s say I wasn’t human when Thiede incepted me and that I am gifted with special telepathic powers.”

 

“Is Velaxis your real name?”

 

Velaxis’ features briefly contorted. “It is the name I chose to go by. Darq also knows me as Zu, but that name is part of my past and I no longer use it. I am comfortable going by Velaxis.”

 

“I am grateful that you took care of Darq when we couldn’t.” Caeru placed the glass aside and took one of Velaxis’ hands in his. “That means a lot to me.”

 

Velaxis’ eyes started to swim with emotion. “Darq is important to me and so are you, Rue.”

 

Caeru swallowed hard and then asked, “Why did we never take aruna, Vel?” At first, he had wanted to add, ‘I know you took aruna with all members of the Hegemony because Thiede told you so. Why not me?’ But he didn’t say them. He wanted to know though.

 

Velaxis had caught the thought and gave Caeru a look full of understanding. “Because I care about you, Rue. I didn’t want us to take aruna because it was something I had to do. I am grateful you never required my services as the rest of the Hegemony did.”

 

Caeru perked up at hearing that. “Does that mean you would consider taking aruna with me for the ‘right’ reasons then?”

 

A sweet smile surfaced on Velaxis’ lips. “Would you like that? Do you want to take aruna with me, Rue?”

 

“One day, yes…for the right reasons…because I care about you.” Caeru suddenly had a hard time finding the right words. He had always wanted to take aruna with Velaxis just once. Velaxis cupped his cheek in the palm of his hand and he leaned into the touch.

 

“We will take aruna, Rue. I promise you that, but let me set the time and place.” He’d always had feelings for the Tigrina and wanted to make this good for Rue. “Trust me.”

 

“I always did, Vel, although… I never knew why.”

 

“We are kindred spirits, Rue. I was always drawn to you too.”

 

“Will you share breath with me? I want to know you, Vel.” Caeru eyed Velaxis hungrily.

 

Velaxis however knew that if they shared breath now, things would get out of hand. “Not yet, my sweet Rue. Later. Let’s go out first and enjoy ourselves. I have been locked up for too long. Show me the clubs tonight.” He wriggled his fingers free of Caeru’s hold and caressed the back of the Tigrina’s hand. “I don’t care if we go incognito or dressed up. I just want out and I wanted to spend time with you.”

 

Caeru wanted to give in to Velaxis, but how would Cal and Pellaz react to hearing he had left in Velaxis’ company? Cal would probably be okay with it, but what about Pellaz?

 

“Why don’t you ask them in mind touch? I don’t mind. I am glad that the three of you are so close.” Velaxis smiled, raised Caeru’s hand, and pressed a kiss onto the palm.

 

Caeru nodded his head once. Velaxis’ suggestion made sense and he reached out to the Tigrons, who had retired onto the balcony after they had eaten dinner. He told them about his visitor and of Velaxis’ request to hit the nightclubs with him that night. Pellaz reacted with surprise, but Cal seemed to have expected for something like this to happen.

 

/Go and enjoy yourself, Rue. You don’t need our permission./ Cal was a bit puzzled as to why the Tigrina was seeking their approval. /You answer to nohar and that includes us./

 

Pellaz had a better understanding of the way Caeru’s thoughts worked however. /Cal is right. Enjoy yourself and don’t feel guilty. It was clear that this was going to happen. I am surprised that you didn’t see it coming./ He reclined against Cal’s chest and closed his eyes. /We don’t begrudge you a night of passion. Cal and I will make our own magic tonight./

 

Caeru felt relieved and smiled. /Thanks./ He didn’t know what he had expected them to say.

 

“And? Did they give their consent?” Velaxis knew about the complicated relationship between the Tigrina and the two Tigrons.

 

Caeru nodded once. “They are very understanding.” He smiled at the other blond har. “I owe you a lot. Your advice served me well in the past. If it hadn’t been for you, I would never have tried to befriend Cal and the three of us would never have grown close again.”

 

“The only thing that causes me pain is that Darq was taken away from you like that. That wasn’t supposed to happen.” To a great degree, Velaxis felt responsible for the pain Caeru had suffered when the pearl had been cut from his body. “I would have stopped Diablo if I had known he would attack you. I blame myself for that.”

 

The expression in the blue eyes revealed just how sorry Velaxis was and Caeru smiled ruefully. “That is in the past and we must look toward the future now.” Holding Velaxis’ hands in his, he realized that something connected them on a very deep level. Maybe taking aruna would heal the hurt they shared. “I want to dress up tonight.” Caeru decided.

 

Velaxis happily nodded his head. “I am not stopping you.”

 

“Are you going to watch then?” Caeru batted his eyelashes at Velaxis.

 

“If you are not going to stop me, I will.” Velaxis leaned back into the comfort of his chair and sipped his sheh. “I like to watch,” he added seductively.

 

It was easy to see why Velaxis had been so wanted by the members of the Hegemony. When he wanted to, he oozed sensuality and could drive every har crazy with desire. Not even Caeru was blind to that and he wondered what role Velaxis would assume during aruna – during *their* aruna.

 

“Get dressed,” Velaxis whispered conspiratorially. “And you might find out the answer to that question later...once we return from visiting the clubs.”

 

That was enough incentive for Caeru to get moving. He let go of Velaxis’ hand, rose from his chair, and headed into the bathroom, curious to find out if the blond har was going to follow him.

 

Reading Caeru’s thoughts, Velaxis waited a moment and then walked over to the bathroom where he leaned against the doorway. Caeru had removed the robes he had been wearing and was naked. “You are a beauty, Rue – still.” He knew the self-doubt that haunted the Tigrina at times.

 

Caeru swallowed nervously. “Ever since the attack I am only half the har I used to be.” His fingers traced the scar that disfigured his abdomen. Darq’s pearl had been cut out of him there. “If Pell were to meet with me today for the first time, he wouldn’t even notice me.” A miserable light shone from his eyes.

 

“But I *would* notice you, Rue,” Velaxis murmured and leaned in closer. He hadn’t wanted to share breath just yet, afraid as he was that things would spin out of control, but he felt that he had no choice at this point. “I would notice you anywhere – any time.”

 

Velaxis’ words soothed Rue and suddenly he didn’t feel so vulnerable anymore. He turned to get dressed and wasn’t expecting Velaxis to reach for him. Suddenly he was pulled close against the other har’s chest and soft lips descended onto his. It was just a kiss at first – but what a kiss! – and after a few seconds Velaxis shared breath with him.

 

Velaxis carefully selected the images which he wanted to share with Caeru. In the end, he opted for showing Caeru images of Darq growing up and starting on his journey. Once Caeru relaxed in his embrace, he fed the Tigrina his emotions, showing Caeru his desire, respect, and affection where the other har was concerned.

 

Caeru was breathless by the time Velaxis deserted his lips. A last image floated into his mind and seeing it made him blush as it depicted the two of them locked in aruna. “Thank you for sharing that with me. The memories you showed me concerning Darq are precious to me.”

 

“What about the image I sent you about us taking aruna?” Velaxis asked wickedly. “Did that please you?” He cocked his head and dragged the tip of his tongue along Caeru’s top lip. It was up to him to seduce Caeru. Caeru shivered against him and it would have been easy to abandon their plans and take aruna right there and then. But Velaxis refused to give in just yet. “Get dressed, my lovely.” He released Caeru and returned to his chair in the other room to down the rest of his drink.

 

Caeru trembled with desire and surprise when he was suddenly released. He had been convinced that Velaxis would want to take aruna with him, but then Velaxis had left the bathroom. The other har was full of surprises. Making haste, Caeru dressed and applied some make-up. He styled his hair, checked his appearance in the mirror, and stepped into the other room again. “Will this do?” He had dressed provocatively on purpose to draw a reaction from Velaxis.

 

Velaxis licked his lips, fully aware of the effect it would have on Caeru and the Tigrina didn’t disappoint him as Caeru blushed. “Very nice indeed.” Caeru had dressed in tight leather pants that were all black with studs on the sides and a black fishnet shirt that left little to the imagination. Black leather boots and kohl-lined eyes completed the outfit. “Oh, yeah, that’s perfect for tonight.” Unable to resist temptation, he made his way over to Caeru and raised a hand to flick a pert nipple that peeked through the fishnet material. “Very sensual.”

 

Moaning under the touch, Caeru thrust his lower body against Velaxis. He threw back his head and his long, blond hair danced against the small of his back. “What are you doing to me?” he whispered and quivered when Velaxis pinched his nipple.

 

“Getting you hot and bothered,” Velaxis hinted wickedly. Then he stopped his teasing and pulled Caeru along. “Show me the clubs, Rue. Tonight I want to drink, dance, and party.”

 

TBC

 

Part 2

 

The nightclub they ended up at was called ‘Damnation Angels’ and had a reputation for being busy and loud. It was an insiders club and only visited by hara who really loved music and was a diverse establishment offering a home to musicians and music lovers alike. It wasn’t surprising that it was Rue’s favorite club to hang out although he couldn’t remember the last time he had visited. The last few months had been hectic and exhausting.

 

Lighting a cigarette, Caeru felt like he was slowly coming alive again. He blew the smoke into the neon lit air and tapped his foot to the beat. He still missed being able to perform, but it was hardly appropriate for the Tigrina to take to the stage. Sipping his sheh, Caeru was surprised to see Velaxis move onto the dance floor, which was still rather empty at this early hour.

 

Velaxis’ cat-like movements appealed to Caeru and, when the other har raised an arm to gesture him closer, he extinguished his cigarette and walked over to him. Snake-like, Velaxis’ arms curled around his waist and the blue eyes held Rue captive. There was nothing he could do but move his hips the same way Velaxis did. Velaxis had always struck him as a strict advisor, someone who didn’t know how to enjoy himself, but Caeru changed his mind when he saw the other har lick his lips sinfully. A ripple of lust coursed through him and he pressed tighter against Velaxis.

 

Velaxis wasn’t surprised to see Caeru react as he was. Caeru was a sensual creature and the whole setting appealed to him. It was part of the reason why he had wanted them to go clubbing for it made Caeru relax. Grinding their lower bodies together, Velaxis slid a hand into the blond hair and guided Caeru’s head closer to his so they could share breath again.

 

He fed Caeru erotic images of taking aruna in the back room and Rue reacted against him, becoming needy and soume. That would do for now, but Velaxis would desire something else from Caeru later. “I want you,” he whispered and pulled Caeru with him.

 

There were several rooms in the back which were reserved for hara who wanted to take aruna there. He had visited them often in the past, but back then, it hadn’t been his choice to take aruna. But with Caeru things were going to be different.

 

Feeling breathless, Caeru stared at Velaxis in disbelief. “You want to take aruna here?”

 

“Why not? It is different.” Velaxis continued to pull Caeru along. “When was the last time you took aruna outside of the palace?” He opened the door to an empty room and pulled Caeru inside. After quickly closing the door behind him, he leaned against it and pulled Caeru close.

 

“You’re something else.” Caeru closed his eyes and trembled when Velaxis’ hands found their way beneath the fishnet shirt. They moved down his spine and slipped into his leather pants so they could cup his buttocks.

 

Velaxis savored the sight of Caeru reacting to his caresses so wantonly. He had told Caeru that they had much in common and that was true. Both of them had been forced to take on the soume aspect of their race and forsake being ouana. Velaxis wanted to change that for them both. Moving his hands to Caeru’s front, he unzipped the pants and pushed them down the slender hips.

 

Caeru assisted Velaxis as they rid the Tigrina of his clothes and then moved toward the back of the room where a divan stood. Velaxis’ eyes sparkled in the darkness and Caeru was eager to get the other har out of his clothes too. Reclining onto the couch, he reached for Velaxis and pulled him on top of him. The rough fabric of the jeans moved against his thigh and sent a delicious sensation through his body.

 

Velaxis watched Caeru quiver with need and unbuttoned his shirt. He wanted them skin against skin. Latching onto Caeru’s lips, Velaxis kissed him deeply before releasing a hint of breath into the Tigrina’s mouth. With his right hand he unbuttoned his jeans and with his left he explored the moist folds of Caeru’s soume-lam.

 

Arching his back, Caeru bit his bottom lip when Velaxis’ fingers explored that intimate part of him. Velaxis looked like a silver angel of lust and Caeru buried his fingers in the pale hair. “I want you too,” he whispered in a raw voice.

 

Smiling, Velaxis nodded. “Give me a moment to rid myself of my jeans.” He got to his feet and stepped out of his jeans, but then took a moment to take in Caeru’s gratuitous display of lust. The Tigrina had parted his legs and pinched one of his nipples until the nub hardened further. “Such a lovely vision.” Velaxis returned to Caeru’s side and knelt between the parted legs.

 

Caeru’s breath caught and fully expected Velaxis to enter him, but the other har surprised him by leaning in closer to lick his soume-lam. That dexterous tongue was trying to find his center and Caeru clawed at the fabric beneath him. Velaxis’ hair caressed his inner thighs and the diabolical tongue was pressing deeper inside. Caeru’s head lolled from the left to the right and he started to push down and thrust in want.

 

Velaxis grinned and licked his way down Caeru’s inner thigh. Caeru surged beneath him and his eyes had clouded with lust. “I always wanted it to be like this, Rue.”

 

Caeru nodded lazily and watched Velaxis with expectation. “Will you grant me release?”

 

“Soon.” Velaxis ran his fingers down Caeru’s chest and then licked up the sternum, rolling two hard nipples between his fingertips. “Are you ready then?”

 

Caeru had started to pant softly and looked at Velaxis needingly. “Can’t you feel how ready I am?”

 

Velaxis nodded as Caeru’s soume-lam quivered around the finger he had pressed inside. He buried his face against Caeru’s throat then suckled the skin there. Caeru jerked beneath him and Velaxis grinned. “Of all the dehara, I prefer to sacrifice to Aruhani the most, don’t you agree?”

 

Caeru, senseless with unfulfilled need, nodded. “Please… Vel…”

 

“I am his high priest, Rue. I know things nohar else does. Do you wish to sample my powers?” Velaxis fixed the Tigrina with a patient look. “I will do this for you – only for you.”

 

Caeru had no idea what Velaxis was talking about. He just wanted release. “Vel, I need you.”

 

Velaxis shifted between Caeru’s parted legs and pushed his hands beneath the Tigrina’s buttocks. “You have no idea, do you?”

 

Caeru *had* no idea what Velaxis was talking about. He just felt this overwhelming need and it burned him. He needed Velaxis to deliver him from it. He gasped when he finally caught sight of Velaxis’ ouana-lim, which shone a blackish-blue. He had never seen those colors in an ouana-lim before and tried to touch it, but Velaxis was quicker and sheathed himself in one smooth thrust.

 

Throwing back his head, Caeru screamed and buried his fingernails in Velaxis’ back. Velaxis’ hands moved from Caeru’s buttocks to his knees and encouraged the Tigrina to wrap his long legs around his waist.

 

Velaxis leaned in closer and shared breath with Caeru. He saw the surprise in the Tigrina’s eyes and smiled. “I told you…” he whispered mysteriously. “Aruhani is an unyielding, but rewarding dehar.” Velaxis wrapped his arms around Caeru and started to move.

 

Caeru couldn’t remember ever taking aruna that had felt this intense before. Even with Pellaz he hadn’t felt like this. Velaxis kept him teetering on the edge for a lengthy time and, each time he threatened to topple over, his angel of lust pulled him back. The pressure inside him continued to build until he felt ready to explode. And then the strangest thing happened. It felt as if his body was rearranging himself from the inside. The feeling made him yelp helplessly. Although the sensation was pleasant and caused a trail of fire in his center, he didn’t know what to make of it.

 

Suddenly, Velaxis, who seemed to tower over him, changed. His hair became alive and danced around the har’s head, while his eyes became like stars in a dark sky and the pulsing ouana-lim that was buried deep inside him impaled him with frightening intensity. It was too much for Caeru and he trembled against Velaxis, who reacted by sharing breath with him. The strange sensation continued and, helpless to stop it, Caeru simply accepted what was happening.

 

Velaxis sensed the readiness in Caeru’s mind and released the power they had build during aruna. He guided the power into that part of the Tigrina’s body which had been damaged during the fateful attack years ago and then let go.

 

The bite that brought Caeru release was sharp and stung more than it normally did. At the moment of his climax, Velaxis became somehar else. Caeru saw an angel moving above him with silver hair and eyes that shone like dark sapphire. “Vel!” he screamed and then tumbled toward the earth again, feeling like Lucifer cast out of heaven. He couldn’t stop falling and clung to Velaxis for support.

 

Velaxis instantly soothed Caeru and stroked the Tigrina’s brow. He had achieved what he had set out to do and collapsed atop of Caeru. The two hara clung to each other, trying to rebuild their strength and calm their sped up breathing.

 

“What…happened…just now?” Caeru had never experienced aruna like that before. He knew that something had happened, but what?

 

“I told you… I am his high priest. Aruhani has always been with me. He is the one who has guided me all these centuries. He told me that I had to play a part in Darq’s life and he showed me what to do when the time came.” Velaxis felt it was only fair that Caeru knew the truth about him. “Thiede never used me, Rue. I used him.”

 

Caeru tried to understand what Velaxis was telling him. “But what about all the years that you whored for him?” He wrapped Velaxis up in an embrace and guided the pale head against his shoulder. It touched him deeply that Velaxis was confiding in him. Velaxis smiled against his shoulder and Caeru felt the other har tremble with laughter.

 

“Don’t you understand, Rue? Aruna is a part of me and it served me well. I drew power and knowledge each time they invited me into their bed. I used them. It wasn’t the other way around.” Velaxis stopped laughing and rubbed his cheek against Caeru’s shoulder.

 

Caeru blinked at hearing Velaxis purr. “You are not quite the har I thought you were. I like you even better this way.”

 

“Good.” Velaxis grinned and hugged Caeru close. He planned on resting for another hour and then they would head back to the palace for round two.

 

~~~

 

Caeru still felt dazed as they left the club two hours later. He had enjoyed holding Velaxis in his arms and mentally replayed them taking aruna again and again. It was a memory he would cherish forever.

 

As they made their way back to the palace, Caeru peeked at Velaxis as he walked beside him. The things Velaxis had told him still roamed about his head. Velaxis had been using Thiede and the members of the Hegemony as he had seen fit and none of them had suspected what was going on.

 

Velaxis took Caeru’s hand in his and stroked the knuckles with his thumb. “I hope you are going to invite me in for a night cap,” he commented and batted his eyelashes at the Tigrina.

 

“Of course.” Caeru squeezed Velaxis’ hand and they made their way back to his rooms in silence.

 

~~~

 

Caeru didn’t know exactly why he felt nervous when Velaxis entered his rooms. They had just taken aruna rather passionately and things should be more comfortable between them, but it wasn’t. Instead, Caeru felt alert and cautious. Suddenly, Velaxis embraced him from behind and nuzzled his neck. “Why do I feel this isn’t over yet?”

 

“Because it isn’t.” Velaxis moved in front of Caeru and smiled secretively. “Your bed seems comfortable,” he whispered and pulled the Tigrina along to his scented lair of gold and purple. He didn’t release Caeru’s hand when he lay down and pulled the other har on top of him. “Share breath with me.”

 

Helpless to stop himself, Caeru did and almost drowned in the sea of liquid silver that instantly surrounded him. He questioningly looked at Velaxis, who was busy removing the fishnet shirt once more. “Are we going to take aruna again then?”

 

Velaxis pushed the flimsy fabric down Caeru’s shoulders and growled. “Of course… What did you think?” His hands moved further down and unzipped Caeru’s leather pants.

 

Caeru closed his eyes and hoped he had enough strength left to go another round. His eyes opened with a start when he realized just what Velaxis’ fingers were doing. They were trying to bring his ouana-lim alive and he swallowed hard in surprise. “What are you doing?”

 

“What does it look like?” Velaxis sighed contentedly. “I have wanted to do this all evening.” But he had needed to put Caeru’s mind at ease first and that had been easier to do while the Tigrina was soume.

 

Caeru suddenly found himself in an embrace and Velaxis rolled him onto his back. His mouth went dry at seeing the predatory expression in those blue eyes. Suddenly he wondered what Velaxis was up to.

 

Velaxis merely grinned and slid off the bed so he could kneel on the floor. Running his hands over Caeru’s naked torso, he closely watched the other har’s reaction to his caresses. Only when Caeru’s ouana-lim shone blue and green did he lean in closer and bestow a lick onto the stem.

 

Feeling stunned, Caeru stared at the ceiling. Velaxis somehow lifted his legs and rested them on the silver haired har’s shoulders and pulled him close. The things that Velaxis’ lips and tongue did to his ouana-lim soon had Caeru panting. In the early days right after his inception and before he had met Pellaz, he had been ouana at times, but none of the hara he had taken aruna with back then had ever done this for him. Deft fingers joined a teasing tongue into manipulating his ouana-lim to open and shine even brighter. He was ready to take aruna, but Velaxis was still fully clothed.

 

Velaxis realized the same thing and quickly rendered that. He got to his feet, removed his clothes, and towered over Caeru. Standing next to the bed, he looked at Caeru, who lay with parted legs and a pulsing ouana-lim. “Aruhani chose well when he picked you to host Darq’s pearl. He knew what he was doing when he guided Pellaz onto your path.” He crawled onto the bed on all fours next to Caeru and remained like that, cocking his head at Caeru. “What are you waiting for, Rue?”

 

It took Caeru a moment to understand what Velaxis had just said. But the fact that Velaxis was soume and had attained this particular position spelled everything out to Caeru once he got over his initial shock. “You want me to be ouana?”

 

“That’s the way it is, Rue. We are both soume and ouana. Aruhani made us like that.” Velaxis rested his forearms on the mattress and placed his head onto them. “Don’t make me wait, Rue.”

 

Tremors shook Caeru’s body as he knelt behind Velaxis and placed his hands around the narrow waist. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

 

“You had better believe it.” Velaxis closed his eyes and focused his powers. “Now, Rue…”

 

Swallowing convulsively, Caeru squeezed the taunt buttocks in front of him and then drew in a deep breath. Velaxis wanted this and it wouldn’t do if he disappointed the other har. He slid slowly inside, savoring each second of the experience and then rested his upper body against Velaxis’ back. The moment he entered Velaxis, his perception of the world started to change. They no longer were in the Tigrina’s apartment, but adrift on a sea that shone silver. “What’s happening?”

 

“I am soume…that’s what’s happening,” Velaxis replied and grinned. “Swim in my essence, Rue… Don’t hold back.” He knew precisely what he was doing.

 

The sensation of being ouana for Velaxis quickly overwhelmed Caeru. He tried to make it as good for Velaxis as he could, but he had so seldom been ouana that he was afraid he wasn’t very good at it. There was this incredible feeling of being lost – and found. Velaxis’ body had become the ocean and Caeru was desperately trying to stay afloat. He knew that the moment he went down, he would lose control and they would be lost to ecstasy. Like Velaxis had done before, Caeru wanted to make the experience last.

 

Thrusting into the willing body in front of him, Caeru wrapped his arms around Velaxis’ upper body and held on tight. His eyes rolled back in their sockets and Caeru lost his fight to stay afloat. A wave crashed against him and he drowned in it. Reaching for a life line, a tendril of his ouana-lim connected with Velaxis’ center and bit hard.

 

Velaxis closed his eyes in bliss and collapsed onto the bed, taking Caeru down with him. A moment later, the sea started to calm down, allowing Caeru to float a few seconds longer, but orgasm had taken the Tigrina and he was already on his way down from it.

 

Only a few minutes later after both hara had caught their breath did Caeru realize that he was pressing Velaxis into the mattress. He rolled off of the other har’s trembling body and stretched out on his side. Quickly, he pulled Velaxis close. He felt strange, but in a good way. He felt whole, something he hadn’t felt in years.

 

“Don’t say anything,” Velaxis murmured and placed a finger against Caeru’s lips when the Tigrina tried to speak. “We don’t need words at the moment.”

 

In a way, that was true, but Caeru wanted answers none the less. Something had happened when they had taken aruna...something very profound, but he had no idea what it was and he needed Velaxis to tell him.

 

~~~

 

Velaxis stretched like a cat and rose from the bed. Sometime during the night, Caeru had succumbed to fatigue and had fallen asleep. Leaning in closer, he pressed a kiss onto the Tigrina’s brow.

 

“I trust you are not trying to sneak out on me, Vel. That would disappoint me.” Caeru opened his eyes and studied Velaxis closely. “I feel different and want to know why.”

 

Velaxis seated himself on the side of the bed and stroked Caeru’s hair. “You should be able to find the answer to that question inside yourself, Rue.”

 

Caeru elbowed himself to a sitting position and then crossed his legs. “What do you mean?”

 

“Search yourself, Rue. Go to your core and find out. You don’t need me to tell you what has happened.” Velaxis placed a hand on Rue’s knee. “Just try it. I will help if you can’t figure it out.”

 

Closing his eyes, Caeru descended to his core, which shone golden. It hadn’t possessed such radiance in a long time. Caeru blinked a few times in disbelief and then looked Velaxis in the eye. “This can’t be. Sheeva said that the damage couldn’t be repaired and that I would be barren for the rest of my life.”

 

“As I said, there are certain rewards to serving Aruhani.” Velaxis eyed Caeru closely. “It was partly my fault that you ended up barren. Aruhani granted me my request to heal you. Aruna is so much more powerful than you know, Rue.”

 

Caeru found it hard to grasp the truth. “Do you mean it? Did you heal me? I can host pearls again?”

 

“Yes, you can if you want to. Or you can father a pearl. I repaid my debt to you, but even without it, I would have given this to you. Healing and aruna go hand in hand, my fair Tigrina. I pray you will accept this gift.”

 

Caeru still felt dazed, but he was coherent enough to nod. “I would be a fool to reject it.”

 

“Good, for I can’t undo the change.” Velaxis freed himself of Caeru’s arms and rose from the bed. “I have to be on my way now.”

 

“Where are you going? You are not leaving, are you?”

 

“I honestly don’t know, Rue…” Velaxis picked up his clothes and dressed. “I need to sort out some things before I can make any decisions. I need time. Things changed for me. I need to reinvent myself again.”

 

“If you ever need me, I will be there for you.” Caeru gently touched Velaxis’ mind and tried to show the other har just how much he cared for him. “Please don’t leave Phaonica.”

 

Velaxis merely inclined his head. “I will think about it.” He headed for the doorway and stepped into the corridor. Once he had closed the door behind him, he bowed his head and searched deep within himself. He loved Caeru – he was finally ready to admit that to himself. The sad thing was that they could never be. Caeru belonged with Cal and Pellaz and Velaxis realized that. /I will treasure what happened last night forever, Rue… Thank you for this gift./ Velaxis walked down the corridor and wondered if Caeru would ever guess the truth.

 

The end


	2. High Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At Pellaz’ request Velaxis helps heal Vaysh.

Pairings: Vaysh/Pellaz/Velaxis, Velaxis/Caeru, Vaysh/Cal and Vaysh/Phade.  
Disclaimer: Not mine. No copyright infringement is intended. All characters belong to Storm Constantine.

 

High Hope

Part 1

 

The fact that somehar was knocking on his door surprised Velaxis. Lately, the members of the Hegemony had backed off, having finally understood that he was no longer available. So for someone to visit him was surprising. Briefly, he wondered if it might be Caeru, but then dismissed the thought. The Tigrina had decided to take Darq, Loki, and Geb out and would be exploring the city for some time. So who else would dare disturb him?

 

Curious, Velaxis opened the door and took a step back. Pellaz was the last har he had expected to seek him out. He inclined his head in greeting and gestured for the Tigron to enter. Pellaz and he had never gotten along and he wondered why the other har had come to his rooms that day.

 

Pellaz entered and the fabric of his green robes moved around him, giving the impression that he was floating, but Velaxis knew that it was just an illusion. He had to admit that Thiede had outdone himself when he had created Pellaz. At first, Velaxis hadn’t been convinced that Pellaz was the right har for the job, but the Tigron hadn’t let them down so far. In a way, Pellaz had earned his respect, even though Velaxis’ had never voiced that thought aloud.

 

“I am surprised,” Velaxis commented first as he closed the door. He had heard about the meeting that had taken place a few days earlier in which Pellaz, Cal, and Caeru had sided with him against the members of the Hegemony. He had won Cal’s respect during their journey back to Immanion and he had Caeru’s love, but he had never been sure about Pellaz’ support. “That you would visit me,” he added as he saw Pellaz’ surprise.

 

The Tigron opted for the direct approach. Coming there was already hard on him. “Rue told me you had healed him and for that I am grateful.” Pellaz made his way over to the window and looked outside so he didn’t have to meet Velaxis’ blue eyes. “I tried. Cal and I had both tried, but it had never worked. It had frustrated us to no end because we knew it was supposed to work. Cobweb had healed Snake that way.”

 

For one moment, his shoulders slumped and Velaxis saw the true emotions on Pellaz’ face. That the Tigron was letting them show unnerved him. Maybe he had underestimated the feelings Pellaz bore Caeru. “It only works with the right har. It is the combination that makes it work.” He felt it was safe to offer that.

 

Pellaz’ head whipped up and he turned to face Velaxis. “Thank you for what you did for Rue.”

 

Velaxis nodded to show his acceptance of Pellaz’ gratitude. “But that is not why you are here.”

 

“It is part of why I am here.” Pellaz felt uncomfortable, nervous even. He had thought about this ever since Caeru had told him that his consort had been healed and had rehearsed this speech many times in his head. But now that he was facing Velaxis, the words wouldn’t come.

 

Mystified, Velaxis watched Pellaz and noted the nervous twitch near the right upper corner of Pellaz’ mouth. He had seen it only a few times. One of those times had been when Tharmifex had suggested that Pellaz and Galdra took aruna again to find the missing Loki. What was making Pellaz that nervous this day?

 

“I have a request,” Pellaz declared as he finally found his voice again. He hid his trembling hands behind his back and forced himself to meet Velaxis’ gaze. In the past, he had always wondered about the platinum-haired har, but had never figured him out. Like Thiede, he had found out the truth too late.

 

“What kind of request?” Velaxis *was* intrigued. He wondered what was so important to Pellaz that it was making him uncomfortable. It was rather obvious that Pellaz expected him to decline.

 

“There is another har I deeply care about and I want to see him healed too.” Pellaz nervously moistened his lips and studied Velaxis’ eyes. Hopefully he would be able to tell if his cause was a lost one or not.

 

Velaxis’ surprise showed when he blinked. “Another har? Who might that be?” Who meant so much to Pellaz that the Tigron was willing to plead on his behalf?

 

“Vaysh.” Pellaz maintained eye contact and wondered about the bewilderment in the blue eyes. “He has been damaged and only a ghost of who he used to be the last few years. If it is possible for him to heal I will do whatever you ask to see it happen.”

 

Velaxis’ shock mounted. “Why do you care about him so deeply?” Vaysh and Pellaz were friends, he knew that much. And Vaysh was Pellaz’ confidante, but Velaxis had never suspected Pellaz’ feelings for Vaysh might go deeper. It was a well-known fact that Pellaz was madly in love with Cal. So how did Vaysh fit in?

“How much do you know about Vaysh?” Since Velaxis hadn’t denied him right away, Pellaz grew hopeful and seated himself on the windowsill.

 

“Not that much. I was never that interested in learning more about him.” Realizing this visit would take longer than expected, Velaxis poured them some tea which he had just made and handed a cup to Pellaz, who immediately curled his fingers around the porcelain. It was amazing in a way to see Pellaz, the mighty Tigron of Immanion, fidget because he was afraid he was going to be denied.

 

“Do you know how Thiede made me?” Pellaz would prefer to not tell his history all over again since some of it was still painful. Some nights, he had nightmares about his remaking and then only Cal or Rue’s presence would soothe him.

 

Velaxis leaned against the wall and nodded. “I know what he did.” Pellaz didn’t know it, but Velaxis had witnessed the Tigron’s creation during one of his meetings with Thiede. He had never approved of Thiede’s methods of taking innocent unsuspecting hara and upending their lives like that.

 

“The same thing happened to Vaysh. When Thiede found him, he was convinced Vaysh would make the perfect Tigron.” Saying that didn’t hurt. A part of Pellaz had always wished Thiede had been successful with Vaysh because then his own life wouldn’t have been changed so dramatically. Cal and he could have been together without complications.

 

Velaxis nodded. “I know he had experimented with hara before he had found you.” But he had never figured out what exactly was wrong with Vaysh.

 

Pellaz sipped his tea and drew in a deep breath. He averted his gaze and chose to look out over his city again. “Thiede learned from his mistake as he moved on which was that he didn’t erase Vaysh's memory. I didn’t know who or what I was until after I had been remade. I had forgotten about Cal at that time.” For one moment he wished he was drinking something stronger so he could drown his sorrow, but then he remembered why he had come to Velaxis’ rooms.

 

Listening intently, Velaxis had never thought that Pellaz would confide in him.

 

“Vaysh remembered Ashmael. They were chesna when Thiede took Vaysh or rather, killed him to be exact.”

 

Velaxis blinked. Certain memories which he had seen in Ashmael’s memory made sense now. During aruna, he had often seen Vaysh in Ashmael’s memories, but he had never connected the images in such a way.

 

“Vaysh remembered that he loved Ashmael when he woke up and, when Thiede forced Vaysh to take aruna with him in order to complete the transformation, Vaysh fought him. That must have angered Thiede,” Pellaz explained while staring into the distance thoughtfully. “Thiede never told me this. I only managed to put the pieces together from certain images which I saw in Vaysh’s mind.” He swallowed hard. “When Thiede and I took aruna, I was held down, but I never really fought him. Vaysh did. I can only imagine how Thiede must have reacted when his ‘precious’ Vaysh resisted him.” Pellaz turned and looked at Velaxis. “Did you ever bear witness to a violent and angry Thiede?”

 

“I did.” Velaxis shivered as he remembered those moments. If something like that had happened during aruna it would have made the act brutal and he understood how it could have damaged a har. Vaysh in this case.

 

Pellaz placed the cup onto the windowsill and started to twirl a lock of his raven hair around a fingertip. The gesture alone showed how uncomfortable he felt. “He raped Vaysh. It took me a very long time to realize how badly that act had damaged Vaysh.”

 

Something in the way Pellaz said that made Velaxis curious. “What made you realize that?”

 

“It was small things at first.” Pellaz shrugged. “When I met Vaysh he was hiding his feelings behind a solid wall of ice. I broke through it throughout the years and got glimpses of the real har behind it and I realized that this har was suffering. He panics easily, Velaxis. Just a touch even bestowed on him in affection is enough to make him run. He is so fragile. I remember the time when Ashmael came to my rooms and they accidentally met. Vaysh was a mess after that.”

 

“And you want to see him healed why?” Finding out why was very important to Velaxis.

 

“He is my friend.” Pellaz met Velaxis’ challenging gaze once more. “In a way, he was my hostling. He was all I had after Thiede had remade me and thrust me back into life. Vaysh knows my secrets and he guards them well.” Pellaz took a sharp breath before adding, “If Cal had never returned to me and Caeru had never found his way to Immanion I would have taken Vaysh as my consort, my Tigrina. We suit each other, Velaxis. In a strange way, Vaysh is a part of me. We share the same history and have been through similar pain. I care deeply for him and if there is a way for him to heal I want to try it.”

 

“What exactly is Vaysh’s problem?” Velaxis finished his tea, pushed away from the wall, and advanced on Pellaz.

 

“He is barren. He can’t father a pearl or host one. Thiede burned him out during that rape.” Pellaz eyed Velaxis closely to see what reaction hearing that had on the other har. “He is like Rue, Velaxis, but for different reasons.”

 

Velaxis shook his head however. “If what you told me is true, Vaysh’s injuries are much deeper. Rue still enjoys taking aruna. I doubt Vaysh still does.” Healing Vaysh would require more of his skill than healing Caeru. “And I am not sure I am the right har for the job.” He said this for several reasons but he couldn’t tell Pellaz the most important one because he hadn’t told Caeru yet: namely that he was hosting the Tigrina’s pearl. During aruna, he had allowed for it to happen and maybe Caeru suspected it had happened, but the Tigrina was considerate enough not to inquire about it.

 

Pellaz felt defeated. “You won’t do it?” He had hoped Velaxis would understand and help him!

 

“I didn’t say that.” Curious to see how Pellaz would react, he raised his right hand and touched the Tigron’s face. Pellaz allowed the touch and even Velaxis had to admit that Pellaz was beauty personified. There was something in the face or perhaps in the eyes that made Pellaz stand out from all the other hara Velaxis had ever met. Pellaz’ mind was strong and would never be broken. It was the very reason why Thiede had chosen him to become Tigron. “If you are really determined to do this you will have to do it yourself. I will help of course…” Velaxis failed to finish his sentence for Pellaz had stepped away from him, looking at him angrily.

 

Pellaz stared at the floor. “He won’t let me get close to him.”

 

Velaxis took Pellaz’ arm and guided the Tigron over to the couch where they sat down. “Tell me.”

 

“We took aruna just once and back then I was feeling sorry for myself. I wasn’t even trying to make him feel good. He was drunk and that was probably the only reason why he allowed it.”

 

Pleased that Pellaz was finally telling him the truth, Velaxis nodded. “And at the time you didn’t know that aruna could heal.”

 

“You are right. I didn’t.” Pellaz looked up again and gave Velaxis a look filled with guilt. “I should have tried after that, shouldn’t I?”

 

“Maybe the time wasn’t right,” Velaxis answered soothingly. He needed more information if he was going to agree to this. “Does Vaysh take aruna with other hara?”

 

Pellaz shook his head. “I highly doubt it. In all these years I have never seen him interested in another har.”

 

“Not even Ashmael?”

 

“Not even Ashmael.” Pellaz fidgeted with the hem of his sleeve. “I know Vaysh is suffering, Velaxis, and he has done so for many years. Is it wrong for me to want to end that?”

 

“Not wrong.” Pellaz’ genuine desire to help Vaysh touched Velaxis. “But if we do this, much will be up to you.”

 

Pellaz frowned. “I don’t understand why it would be up to me. It is you who should take aruna with…” His voice drifted off as Velaxis shook his head. “But I thought…”

 

“As I said before, you need the right har for the job and where Vaysh is concerned, that is you.”

 

“But why?” Pellaz frowned deeply and fine lines of worry appeared on his brow.

 

“Thiede did this to him and only Thiede can undo this…” Velaxis felt sorry for Pellaz when the Tigron flinched uncontrollably. “Your essence is Thiede’s. You know that. You can’t deny it.”

 

Pellaz sighed deeply. “Are you saying I need to take aruna with Vaysh again?”

 

“But not the way you did in the past.” Velaxis made his decision then and there. “I will be there to guide you.” In a rare show of affection he placed his hand on Pellaz’. But the Tigron was still fidgeting about. “The biggest responsibility will lie on your shoulders.” Velaxis wasn’t sure he should continue to confide in Pellaz. Maybe it would be better to leave the rest unsaid. Vaysh and Pellaz would find out when the time came. But seeing the confused look in Pellaz’ eyes Velaxis knew he couldn’t end their conversation like that.

 

“There are different possible scenarios, Pellaz. It might very well be that just taking aruna with Vaysh will heal him. Then there is the possibility that healing Vaysh will take more energy and, in that case, I might have to take over your body and guide you during aruna.” Pellaz swallowed hard, but didn’t speak up, so Velaxis continued. “And then there is the chance that Vaysh’s injuries are so severe that a different kind aruna will be needed – one that I will have to perform.” Velaxis knew that the fact that he was with pearl would only strengthen their aruna and make him even more powerful. “I don’t know what will happen until Vaysh and you take aruna.”

 

“Thank you for being honest.” Pellaz shivered at the thought of Velaxis taking possession of his body, but he would agree to it if it helped Vaysh heal.

 

Velaxis had one more question left. “I assume you already discussed this with Vaysh and he agreed to it?” He was surprised to see Pellaz grow pale. “You didn’t?” Stunned, he stared at the suddenly shy Tigron. “You didn’t even discuss this with him?”

 

“I wanted your answer first. I didn’t want to give Vaysh false hope.”

 

Since that answer made sense, Velaxis nodded. “Will you talk to him in private or do you want me present as well?”

 

“I would prefer for you to accompany me. We might have to convince Vaysh.”

 

Surprised, Velaxis asked, “Why do you think he will need convincing? Doesn’t Vaysh want to be healed?”

 

“Vaysh is a very complicated har,” Pellaz replied and left it at that. “Thank you for doing this for me – us… Vaysh is important to me and I want him to be happy.”

 

“I will do what I can,” Velaxis promised and then tilted his head. “I suggest you talk this over with Cal… and maybe even Caeru. They will have to do without you for a short while. I doubt we can heal Vaysh in an hour. It might take days.”

 

Pellaz swallowed nervously. He hadn’t told them about his plans yet. “I will do so tonight.”

 

“And tomorrow, we will seek out Vaysh and talk to him.” Pellaz had managed to surprise him that day. He hadn’t thought that the Tigron cared for Vaysh so deeply to come and practically beg Velaxis to help him.

 

~~~

 

Cal arched an eyebrow when he realized that Pellaz was late for dinner. Caeru had already joined him and, since the Tigrina had worked up an appetite, had already started eating. Cal loved seeing the new and improved Caeru. Ever since Velaxis had healed the Tigrina, Caeru lived with a new zest for life. The har shone from the inside and Cal was under the impression that he was seeing the same har Pellaz had fallen in love with so many years ago. The old Caeru was popping back out again. “You are hungry.” Caeru was eating his slice of pie with relish.

 

Caeru flashed Cal a stunning smile. “It’s been a while since I hit the city with our sons and high har in tow. I enjoyed myself.”

 

The blond Tigron however suspected there was more to it. He would never forget the expression in Caeru’s eyes right after the Tigrina had returned from taking aruna with Velaxis. Cal suspected the feelings involving those two went deeper than they wanted to admit. He had tried to address the matter, but Caeru had cut him off. “

 

“Maybe you should spend the evening with Velaxis?” Cal suggested and Caeru shot him a disturbed look before putting his fork onto the plate.

 

“And why would I want to do that?” Caeru wondered if Cal knew that his heart was beating like mad. Taking aruna with Velaxis had changed his life, but the Tigrina was intelligent enough to know that he had to stop these feelings before they deepened further. He was the Tigrons’ consort and Pellaz and Cal had finally accepted him fully into their lives. He couldn’t complicate matters again by admitting he liked Velaxis so much. “Do you want to spend the night with Pellaz?”

 

Shaking his head, Cal leaned in closer. He curled his fingers around Rue’s and smiled at the other har. “How much longer are you going to deny yourself, Rue?”

 

Rue froze, feeling caught. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

 

“It took me some time to figure it out, but you love Velaxis, don’t you?”

 

Rue vehemently shook his head. “I don’t know what has gotten into you. I care for him, but that is it. I know my place.”

 

Caeru’s words made Cal sad. “Don’t make the same mistake Pell did. It took him years to admit he had feelings for Galdra.”

 

Caeru shivered. “You are imagining things, Cal.”

 

“I don’t think so.” Cal squeezed Caeru’s hand. “Eventually Pellaz understood that I am safe enough in my love for him to accept Galdra’s presence in my life. We would do the same thing for you. Rue, your life was miserable at times. I know that has changed, but you should not deny yourself.”

 

Caeru didn’t really know what to think of Cal’s passionate speech. “Cal, it took me so long to get close to Pell and...I... I don’t want to endanger that.”

 

“I understand that. I really do.” It had taken Cal a while to truly understand Caeru’s way of thinking. “But you are safe now. Neither Pell nor I will cast you out of our lives because you take a lover on the side. Pell has Galdra while I had Panthera and Terzian…” Cal’s expression became anguished when he remembered the two hara that had once changed his life. “And you are certainly entitled to have Velaxis if he makes you happy.” Relieved, Cal noticed that Caeru was blushing and was doing his best to avoid looking at him. A smile surfaced on his face. “Velaxis and you always were good friends, weren’t you?”

 

Caeru nodded his head slowly. “When Pell and I were at odds he was my only true friend.”

 

“Does he return your feelings?” Cal continued to smile, and when Caeru finally raised his gaze, he nodded encouragingly.

 

“I believe so.” Caeru felt breathless. “He hinted at it when…when he healed me.”

 

“When you took aruna.” Cal preferred being a bit more direct. “And I bet you would like to take aruna with Velaxis again.” The blush on Caeru’s face deepened. “Well, I am not stopping you and neither is Pell.” Leaning in closer, he pressed his lips to Caeru’s and shared breath with him.

 

Caeru readily accepted and shared some of the memories regarding his healing. It meant a lot to him that Pellaz and Cal were willing to accept this. /I will never stop loving Pellaz,/ he told Cal in mind touch. /And you know how much I have come to care about you…/

 

/But Velaxis is different. Had you not been blood-bonded with Pellaz, Velaxis would have been your perfect chesnari./

 

/You understand./ They stopped sharing breath and Caeru’s skin glowed with a golden hue after sharing that intimacy with the Tigron. /Does Pell agree with you?/

 

/Pell and I discussed this. Trust me, he understands./ Since they were discussing Pellaz, Cal started to wonder again. “What's keeping him from joining us?” 

 

~~~

 

Pellaz knew he was late, but hoped they would forgive him once they knew what had been keeping him. Caeru and Cal were chatting when he stepped into the room and he smiled at seeing them interacting so easily. It was a dream come true with the three of them finally getting along.

 

“You are late,” Cal stated and arched an eyebrow. “What kept you?”

 

Pellaz seated himself in-between Cal and Caeru and drew in a deep breath. He wasn’t quite sure how Caeru was going to react to this news. He knew that Rue cared deeply about Velaxis. “I went to see Velaxis.”

 

The fork Caeru had picked up dropped onto the plate. A wild, somewhat startled look appeared on the Tigrina’s face. “Why did you do that?” Although Cal had assured him that they didn’t mind Rue spending time with Velaxis, a part of him didn’t believe them. His life had changed for the better so suddenly that he was afraid they would take it away again.

 

“Please, don’t be worried.” Pellaz cupped Caeru’s cheek in the palm of his hand. “This has nothing to do with you liking Velaxis. I am not angry with you and neither do I want to take him away from you.” It didn’t surprise him that Caeru had little faith in him. In the past, he had made too many mistakes where Caeru was concerned. “Please don’t think so badly of me. I have changed too.”

 

Caeru nodded his head shakily and caused Pellaz’ fingers to caress his face. “I am sorry.”

 

“You have every reason to doubt me, I know that… But I hope that in the future you will gain some trust in me.” Pellaz bestowed another sweet caress onto Caeru’s face and then his hand dropped back onto his lap. “I talked to Velaxis because he healed you and there is another har I would like to see healed.”

 

Both Cal and Caeru frowned. “Which har is that?” Cal asked eventually.

 

“Vaysh,” Pellaz replied in a small voice. He looked Cal in the eye and hoped his chesnari would understand. “I could have been him, Cal. If Thiede had made a mistake while remaking me, I could have ended up being Vaysh. If he can be healed I want to try.”

 

Cal understood. Although he’d had only a few dealings with Vaysh in the past, he had always sensed the sadness that clung to the red-haired har. One night, Pellaz had told him Vaysh’s history and ever since then he had felt deeply for the damaged har. At one time, Vaysh had been Pellaz' only support and he understood why Pell felt he had to try to heal his friend. “What did Velaxis say?”

 

Caeru was curious too. Velaxis had healed him without sharing his intentions with him and Rue had been stunned to learn what had happened. “Did he accept?”

 

“He accepted, but told me to talk to you first… Tomorrow we will discuss the matter with Vaysh.” Pellaz’ gaze shifted from Cal’s face to Rue’s. “Please believe me. I have no intention of coming between Velaxis and you. It is just that I care deeply about Vaysh and if there is a chance to heal him…”

 

Caeru interrupted Pellaz. “I understand,” the Tigrina said. “Cal helped me see the truth.”

 

Pellaz gave Cal a grateful look. If it hadn’t been for Cal, his life might have still been miserable. Cal had managed to heal the rift between Rue and him and for that, he would always be grateful.

 

~~~

 

Later that evening, Rue wondered about something Pellaz had said. The three of them had cuddled up in bed with Pellaz somehow ending up in the middle. Cal lay spooned up behind Pellaz and Caeru was looking at his consort’s face, which had relaxed. He had wrapped his arms around Pellaz and Cal in turn was embracing Rue. It was quite comfortable and felt intimate to Caeru. “Pell?”

 

Pellaz opened his eyes and looked at Rue. He sensed that the other har had questions for him, but he didn’t know what they were about. “Yes, Rue?”

 

Rue moved a little closer and Cal adjusted his embrace to pull him in as tightly as possible. He hoped that Pellaz, being caught up in the middle, wasn’t getting squashed. “What did you mean when you said that you weren’t trying to take Velaxis away from me?”

 

“Exactly that. I don’t want you to think that this is some ploy to lure Velaxis away from you and into Vaysh’s arms, for it isn’t.” Pellaz noted that the frown on Caeru’s brow deepened. “Rue, I know you care for Velaxis and I am fine with it.”

 

The Tigrina gasped since Cal had told him the same thing. How was it possible that they knew him better than he knew himself? “But there can’t be a future for Vel and me. You know that too.”

 

“There is a future for the two of you if you want it to happen.” Pellaz stroked Rue’s blond hair. “It took me a long time to realize that I didn’t have to deny Galdra. Cal made me see that. I hope you won’t need that long to realize the same thing. Rue, the three of us are connected in a way which we will never truly understand. That bond won’t go away if you take Velaxis to your bed.”

 

Cal nodded his head approvingly and rubbed his cheek against Pellaz’ shoulder. Galdra and he had sorted things out and if the Freyhellan visited nowadays Cal was generous enough to let them have a few nights of their own. He even occasionally joined in. “I am secure in my love for Pell.”

 

Rue swallowed hard. He would never stop loving Pellaz either.

 

”Stop worrying and enjoy life,” Pellaz said and kissed Rue on the lips. “If it is Velaxis you want, go and get him.”

 

~~~

 

Velaxis hadn’t counted on Caeru being there when he visited Pellaz the next morning. The Tigron had asked Velaxis to fetch him before they went to talk to Vaysh. Velaxis felt shy at seeing Rue standing there dressed in nothing but a flimsy morning robe. Memories of them taking aruna flashed in his mind and reminded him of the fact that he was hosting Caeru’s pearl. He still hadn’t decided whether to tell Caeru for he didn’t know if he was going to stay in Immanion. There was a chance he might just flee the situation and raise his son someplace else. Having Caeru’s son would cause problems, he was convinced of that.

 

Suddenly Caeru was in his arms. The other har had moved unexpectedly, threatening to fall. Velaxis had reacted at once, catching him.

 

“How clumsy of me.” Cal grinned conspiratorially. He was in the process of drying his hair and had pretended that he hadn’t seen where he was walking, effectively running into Caeru and launching the Tigrina into Velaxis’ arms.

 

“Very clumsy,” Pellaz remarked dryly. /You could try being diplomatic for a change, Cal./

 

Cal continued to grin. He had succeeded in getting Rue closer to Velaxis. It mattered little to him just how he had accomplished it.

 

Caeru drew in a deep breath, which was a mistake for it made him aware of just how close Velaxis was. He took in the other har’s scent and wanted nothing more than to share breath with him and take aruna.

 

Velaxis felt the same way, but could hardly voice that thought in the Tigrons’ presence. After all, Caeru was the Tigrina and their consort. For the first time, he started to doubt his decision to take aruna with Rue. He released the Tigrina and took a step away from Caeru. Unable to break eye contact, he looked helplessly at Caeru.

 

Pellaz took pity on Velaxis and said, “I hope you are prepared to do battle. Vaysh isn’t simply going to say yes.”

 

Cal was running his hands through his hair and was making an even worse mess of the snares and tangles in his locks by doing so.

 

“Oh, let me do that!” Unable to watch Cal struggle with his hair, Caeru took hold of a brush and started to detangle the mess. “Really, Cal. You should learn how to groom yourself properly.”

 

Velaxis couldn’t help himself and grinned. He loved it when Rue started to fuss.

 

Pellaz noticed Velaxis’ interest in Caeru and was happy for his consort. He knew that Caeru felt left out at times, even though Cal and he tried hard to make Rue a part of their lives. But three was an odd number and often one of them – mostly Caeru – stood at the sidelines. That was why he welcomed Velaxis into Caeru’s life.

 

Cal allowed Caeru to comb his hair and gave Pellaz an inquisitive look. “Why do you expect Vaysh to put up a fight?” What har wouldn’t want to be healed after having been damaged so badly in the past?

 

“It is just a feeling.” Pellaz had a hard time explaining the sense of foreboding that washed over him.

 

TBC

 

Part 2

 

Vaysh hadn’t gotten out of bed yet. There really was no reason for him to get up and hurry to Pellaz’ side these days. Pellaz was in control and had Cal and Caeru to support him. Vaysh had become obsolete and he wondered why he was staying at a court where he always feared running into Ashmael. It was obvious that Ashmael wanted nothing to do with him. And yet, every time they met, Vaysh was in emotional pain.

 

He turned onto his left side and curled up on his bed. Closing his eyes he tried to banish the images that tried to surface. He didn’t want to remember the days when Ashmael and he had been happy together.

 

“Vaysh?” Pellaz had knocked repeatedly, but Vaysh hadn’t answered, so the Tigron had entered. Since the door had been unlocked, he had come in with Velaxis in tow.

 

Vaysh must have been lost in thought since he hadn’t noticed his friend entering the room. And what was Velaxis doing there as well? Vaysh knew that Pellaz wasn’t particularly fond of Velaxis. “What are you doing here?” Vaysh stood and straightened his shoulders, grateful that he had dressed in warm morning robes after exiting the bathroom.

 

“I need to talk to you,” Pellaz answered, sensing the cautious mood Vaysh was in.

 

Vaysh eyed Pellaz closely from behind a curtain of red hair. “Why is Velaxis here?”

 

“Because I need him to back me up.” Pellaz seated himself resolutely on Vaysh’s couch. “Come here and sit with me.” He patted the space next to him. Vaysh however seated himself on the opposite couch and eyed him warily.

 

“What is this about? Why do you need Velaxis to back you up?” Vaysh pulled the fabric of his morning robes closer and his gaze repeatedly shifted from Pellaz to Velaxis and back again. He could tell that they were up to something but he had no idea what it was.

 

“Velaxis healed Caeru, Vaysh. Caeru is barren no longer. Rue is once more able to host a pearl or to father one.” Pellaz wished Vaysh’s eyes would reveal some emotion, but it was impossible to read the expression in them.

 

“In that case I am very happy for Rue.” Vaysh had no idea why Pellaz had chosen to tell him that. “The Tigrina can go back to hosting pearls then.”

 

/Or fathering them,/ Velaxis thought while carefully guarding his thoughts so Pellaz wouldn’t accidentally read them. He eyed Vaysh closely and then reached out with his mind, trying to discern the amount of damage Thiede had done. Vaysh looked over sharply at him and Velaxis nodded his head, impressed that the red-haired har had felt the probing.

 

“But that does not explain why you are here at this early hour.” Vaysh wished they would finally tell him.

 

Pellaz moved from his sofa to the one Vaysh was seated on and took his friend’s cold hand in-between his. This put Vaysh on guard and Pellaz felt sad that a mere touch could intimidate Vaysh to such a degree. “If Rue can be healed, why not you too?”

 

Vaysh felt shocked and gasped at Pellaz’ words. “You are mad!” There was no healing for him – he knew that. He had accepted his fate a long time ago.

 

“Maybe,” Pellaz admitted and grinned shyly. “But we won’t know for sure until we try.”

 

“We?” Now Vaysh really wanted to know why Velaxis was there too. “What do you mean when you say ‘we’?”

 

“Velaxis healed Rue. He agreed to help me heal you too. That is why he is here, Vaysh.” Pellaz was grateful that Velaxis was letting him do the talking.

 

Blinking repeatedly, Vaysh tried to catch his breath again. It took him a few minutes to compose himself. “Pell, what you are suggesting is really sweet, but haven’t you realized yet that I am beyond healing?”

 

Velaxis felt it was time to take part in the conversation and covered the distance between him and the two other hara. He sat down on the opposite couch and waited for Vaysh to make eye contact with him. The surprise in Vaysh’s gray eyes was mixed with the despair and affection that was aimed at Pellaz. It was obvious that Vaysh cared for Pellaz in turn. “I don’t agree that you are beyond healing. Pellaz is correct: we won’t know for sure until we have tried.”

 

Pellaz nodded. This was the perfect moment for Velaxis to get involved and back him up. That was why he had brought the other har along. “I really think you should use this chance, Vaysh.”

 

Perplexed, Vaysh stared at Velaxis. “I have no intention of trying.”

 

“Why?” Curious, Velaxis leaned in closer. He wanted to probe Vaysh’s mind again, but the other har had put up some considerable defenses which made probing impossible. “Why would you throw this chance at healing away?”

 

A bitter laugh escaped Vaysh’s lips. “Why would I want to be healed? I am not like Caeru. The Tigrina is loved by his consorts and I know that you fancy him too, Velaxis. But it is different for me. Why would I want to be healed? There is no har out there waiting for me.”

 

Pellaz knew he was treading on dangerous ground when he asked, “Is this about Ashmael?” Vaysh froze and stopped breathing momentarily and Pellaz rubbed the icy fingers, even though Vaysh was trying to pull his hand away.

 

Vaysh shook his head vehemently. “No, why should it be about him? I know he is no longer interested in me. I got that message loud and clear.”

 

“That is why I am asking, Vaysh. Would it make a difference if Ashmael still wanted you?”

 

Vaysh couldn’t believe Pellaz had asked him that question and, upset, he freed his hand from Pellaz’ hold and rose to his feet. He moved away from the couch and paced restlessly. “Ash has nothing to do with my decision to decline your offer.”

 

Pellaz didn’t quite believe that, but realized that arguing with Vaysh wouldn’t get him anywhere so he looked to Velaxis for advice.

 

“Would it make a difference if there was a har who wanted you?”

 

Velaxis’ question stopped Vaysh from pacing and he turned around in surprise. “There is no har who wants me. Don’t you know that I make their skin crawl? Hara do their best to avoid me at all cost.”

 

But Velaxis’ question had made Pellaz think. Velaxis was right, but was there such a har? He couldn’t count on Ashmael, certainly not at first. Ashmael wouldn’t take the first step, but maybe if Pell succeeded in making Ashmael jealous, then Ashmael might be inclined to move and search his feelings where Vaysh was concerned. Pellaz was convinced that Ashmael still felt *something* for Vaysh.

 

“I know a har who would welcome the chance to take aruna with you,” Pellaz declared, intending to make Vaysh curious, which worked. Vaysh’s eyes widened, but then the red-haired har shook his head.

 

“You don’t count, Pell.” Vaysh tried to smile, but failed.

 

Pellaz pretended to be hurt. “I thought you liked me, Vaysh.”

 

“You know I do,” Vaysh replied in an emotionally heavy voice.

 

“But I wasn’t thinking of myself,” Pellaz retorted and smiled again. “I have a different har in mind and no, it isn’t Ashmael. Don’t worry about that.”

 

Velaxis found the dumbfounded look that had appeared on Vaysh’s face amusing. Apparently, Vaysh found it hard to believe that anyhar would want him, but why? Vaysh was stunning in his very own way.

 

Vaysh stared defiantly at Pellaz. “You are wrong. There is no har who is interested in me that way.”

 

“Oh no, Vaysh. You are wrong. There is a har. I will prove it to you. I only need to tell him that you want to meet with him and he will hurry here.” Pellaz wasn’t lying. Phade had always been interested in Vaysh.

 

Vaysh stared at Pellaz for some time and realized that his friend was being serious. “Pell, there is no har…” But Pellaz merely nodded his head. “You are mad.”

 

“No, you would be mad to decline our offer,” Velaxis commented, realizing they needed to make some progress.

 

“I have been mad for a long time, Velaxis. I have become used to it. Why change the way I am now?” Vaysh didn’t think he could be healed and they were foolish for suggesting otherwise.

 

Velaxis was getting frustrated because they weren’t making any progress. It was obvious that talking wouldn’t get them anywhere and it was time to try a different approach. He approached Vaysh and placed his hands on the red-haired har’s shoulders. Vaysh gave him a warning look, but he ignored it. He had surmised that Vaysh didn’t like being touched, but the situation left him little choice. “What are you afraid of? Just tell me.” He set his magic to work, trying to influence Vaysh in such a way that the other har felt more comfortable around him. The magic was so subtle that with any luck, Vaysh wouldn’t even notice it.

 

Vaysh only knew that suddenly he felt like he could trust Velaxis. That surprised him, but then he simply accepted the fact.

 

“What are you scared of, Vaysh?” Velaxis’ voice sounded like liquid silver and it snuck inside Vaysh’s mind, helping the red-haired har relax further. “You can tell me.”

 

Astonished, Pellaz watched Velaxis display his power in such a way. Like Thiede, he had never realized just how far Velaxis’ powers stretched.

 

Velaxis cocked his head and moved closer still. His lips were only an inch away from Vaysh’s. “Tell me. Trust me. I can help.”

 

Feeling queasy, Vaysh wanted to confide in Velaxis and stopped wondering why. “He forced me and there was so much pain. I don’t ever want to go through that again. I don’t ever want to take aruna again.” Vaysh gave Pellaz an apologetic look. “I was drunk, you know.”

 

Since Vaysh’s attention was starting to drift off to Pellaz, Velaxis directed it back to his person with a finger beneath Vaysh’s chin. When Vaysh was once more looking at him, Velaxis tasted the pain that colored Vaysh’s mind. He had to convince the other har that there wouldn’t be any pain. “The only way we can heal you is through aruna.”

 

“I gathered as much,” Vaysh muttered. “That is why my answer is no.”

 

“Vaysh, there won’t be any pain,” Velaxis crooned sweetly. “I promise you that.”

 

Vaysh wanted to believe Velaxis, but then remembered the pain he had suffered at Thiede’s hands. “There will be pain.”

 

“No, there won’t be.” Velaxis hadn’t planned on taking an active part in seducing Vaysh. He had wanted to leave that part up to Pellaz, but now it seemed he had no choice. Covering the inch that separated them, he pressed his lips onto Vaysh’s and shared breath with him.

 

Vaysh could barely remember the last time he had shared breath, but he *did* remember with whom he had last shared breath with...Pellaz.

 

Velaxis smiled into the kiss as he picked up on that image. Vaysh might have been drunk when Pellaz and he had taken aruna, but he had enjoyed it. Every har craved aruna and Vaysh was no exception, but the har had trained himself to go without it. It was amazing that Vaysh hadn’t gone insane without aruna for so many years. “Yes, that is it. Relax and accept this. We are not going to hurt you. On the contrary, we are going to take away your pain.” Velaxis rested one hand at the small of Vaysh’s back and with the other he gestured for Pellaz to come closer. It was time the Tigron became involved.

 

Pellaz rose from the couch and approached the two hara who were sharing breath once more. He was developing a new sense of respect where Velaxis was concerned.

 

Velaxis curled his fingers around Pellaz’ wrist and pulled the har along while he walked Vaysh to the bed. He continued to share breath with Vaysh for it was the best way to soothe the distressed har, but he also knew that it wasn’t him who Vaysh needed. Vaysh needed Pellaz to undo the damage.

 

Pushing Vaysh gently onto his back, Velaxis then knelt on the floor next to the bed. With one hand he undid the knot that kept Vaysh’s morning robes in place and with the other he pulled Pellaz onto the bed. /You know what to do, Pellaz. Be ouana for him and let me do the rest./ He hadn’t planned on becoming that much involved, but Vaysh’s injuries went deeper than he had originally thought.

 

Vaysh, in an effort to regain control over the situation, tried to struggle free and sit upright, but suddenly he heard Velaxis in his mind, telling him that everything was going to be alright. All he had to do was relinquish control, but he fought that idea. He had been in a similar situation before and back then he’d had no say in the matter.

 

“This is different,” Velaxis whispered against Vaysh’s lips. Seducing Vaysh wasn’t as easy as he had thought it would be. “We are here to help you and you know Pellaz. He doesn’t mean you any harm.” Velaxis smiled secretively. “In a way you love him, don’t you?”

 

Pellaz’ breath caught at hearing that, but then he relaxed and removed his clothes. “Don’t worry about it,” Pellaz murmured as he straddled Vaysh’s waist. “I feel the same way about you. You would have been the perfect consort, Vaysh.” The words soothed Vaysh as the red-haired har became silent beneath him. “Let me give back to you what Thiede took.”

 

Velaxis stroked the red hair while crooning soothing words into Vaysh’s ear and every now and then sharing breath with the confused har. “You are doing great, Vaysh.”

 

Vaysh couldn’t believe he was letting them do this, but Velaxis was in his mind and had somehow managed to convince him to let them continue. “I am scared,” he whispered when Velaxis’ lips briefly deserted his. He had become soume under their joined sensual assault and he was keenly aware of the fact that Pellaz’ ouana-lim was opening up and preparing itself for aruna.

 

“I understand that you are scared,” Velaxis murmured and caressed Vaysh’s face. “But you will surprise yourself. You will allow for this to happen and then the change will come.”

 

It took some power on Vaysh’s part to shift his gaze away from Velaxis to Pellaz, who was parting his legs and crawling closer to him. He raised a hand and was relieved when Pellaz twined their fingers. He needed the contact.

 

Pellaz took over and shared breath with Vaysh, intent on feeding the injured har his energy and his feelings. He wanted to warm Vaysh up from the inside. /There is no need to fear me, Vaysh. You and I… We know each other well. I will never hurt you./ Pellaz eyed Velaxis for one moment, awaiting instructions. What was he supposed to do?

 

“Take aruna with him, Pellaz. Let me do the rest. It is Vaysh who needs to heal himself but he doesn’t know how. I will guide him.” Velaxis changed positions. He left the floor, slid onto the bed, and sat cross-legged. He placed Vaysh’s head into his lap and rested his fingertips on Vaysh’s brow. “Trust me,” he ordered while looking into Vaysh’s eyes. “Do as I say.”

 

Vaysh was only capable of nodding. He was completely at their mercy, but he didn’t feel as helpless as he had when Thiede had pinned him down. Their good intentions oozed out of their minds and they were a healing balm in itself.

 

“Sacrifice yourself to Aruhani,” Velaxis said. “I promise he won’t let you down.”

 

There was little Vaysh could do but surrender and follow Velaxis’ advice. “If he wants me, he can have me, though I doubt a barren har is of much use to him.”

 

“Hush now,” Velaxis murmured. “There is no reason to put yourself down.” He closed his eyes and focused his energy. “Pellaz…”

 

Realizing it was time to take the next step, Pellaz covered Vaysh with his body and slowly sank into the other har’s soume-lam. Vaysh’s essence had changed since the first time they had taken aruna. It no longer felt like he was drifting on the sea, but instead he found himself on waves of lava, which rolled madly over him. The sensation stunned him and he almost pulled out again, but then something – or rather someone – lured him deeper inside. It was Velaxis, making sure the connection between their bodies wouldn’t be severed.

 

Vaysh’s eyes widened. When they had taken aruna that first time, he had not been in his right mind. Alcohol had clouded his thoughts and he hadn’t really been aware of what he was doing. Things were different now. Pellaz was nestled deep inside him and he was keenly aware of the fact that he was actually taking aruna.

 

Velaxis smiled and opened his eyes again. Vaysh still had a tight hold on Pellaz’ hand and Velaxis now reached for the other. After twining their fingers, he brought Vaysh’s hand to his mouth and kissed it. “Your sacrifice pleases Aruhani and he has accepted. Let go of your fear and worries.”

 

Pellaz was too focused on Vaysh’s face to look at Velaxis, but Vaysh was looking up and saw the change that had come over the silver-haired har. The blue eyes resembled the depths of the sea and the silver hair shone like the rays of the moon were illuminating it. For one moment, he thought he was looking at Aruhani himself in his most benevolent aspect. Had the dehar himself descended from the heavens to take part in this?

 

Velaxis merely smiled mysteriously. “Open your cauldron of creation, Vaysh.”

 

Realizing that was his signal to act, Pellaz opened the first of Vaysh’s five centers and gasped at the energy that was being released. “Almost there,” he whispered. The last two seals Vaysh had to open himself otherwise it would have been rape, even though Vaysh was a most willing partner.

 

Vaysh moaned when the connection he shared with Pellaz deepened. Tendrils of Pellaz’ ouana-lim were already lashing out in search of release and it wouldn’t be long until a tendril would deliver its bite.

 

Velaxis snuck into Vaysh’s mind and together they opened the sixth center.

 

“Why?” Vaysh looked questioningly at Velaxis. “Why should I open up the last one?”

 

Pellaz groaned. It was taking most of his energy and discipline not to reach completion yet!

 

“Because your cauldron of creation needs to be fixed. Pellaz’ essence will be a soothing balm. I will help you. Just let go.” Velaxis leaned in closer and his silver hair caressed Vaysh’s chest when he claimed the other har’s lips. /Open up, Vaysh. You don’t have to be scared. The only thing you will conceive tonight is healing./

 

Unable to withstand that seductive voice, Vaysh arched his back and threw back his head while opening the his seal. A part of him was terrified of what would happen next, but another craved healing.

 

“Now, Pellaz.” Velaxis glanced at Pellaz and nodded. “Let go.”

 

Pellaz had been waiting to do so and finally found release. After the bite had occurred, aren leaked from his ouana-lim and filled Vaysh’s cauldron of creation. The sensation was divine, mostly because he knew he was helping Vaysh heal.

 

Vaysh himself felt scared, as he realized that he had really allowed for this to happen. Since he was focused on Velaxis’ blue eyes hovering above him, he hardly noticed Pellaz pulling out.

 

Velaxis crawled down the bed until he knelt near Vaysh’s feet. “You did well,” he told Pellaz. “But more is required. Stretch out beside him… Share breath with him… Fill him with affection… Make him *feel* it.”

 

Pellaz stretched out onto his side and raised an arm, which Vaysh moved into. Vaysh was lying on his back and panting hard. His eyes had filled with some emotion Pellaz couldn’t identify and the Tigron wondered what would happen next.

 

Placing his hands on either side of Vaysh’s head, Velaxis closed his eyes. He concentrated and slipped into Vaysh’s mind. This was going to be the hardest part. Vaysh had seldom been ouana and the har’s body had forgotten what it was capable of.

 

Vaysh gasped when his ouana-lim stirred. “What…?” He wasn’t sure who to look at, but since Pellaz was the closest and currently trying to engage his lips in a kiss, he ended up sharing breath with the Tigron.

 

Velaxis felt powerful – extremely powerful. The fact that he was hosting made his magic even more potent and he was convinced that once this was over, Vaysh’s injuries would have healed. He stroked Vaysh’s ouana-lim and enjoyed seeing the purple and silver petals open. Pellaz *was* right in one aspect. Vaysh was a very special har. Had Thiede not damaged him, Vaysh would have been the perfect Tigron or Tigrina. “You suffered so much,” he whispered as he crawled closer. “Know that the end of your suffering has come.” And with that, he lowered himself onto the stem the moment the petals had fully opened. It was the moment he had been waiting for.

 

Vaysh cried out, but Pellaz’ mouth absorbed the sound. There was not much he could do except let them have their way with him. Pellaz was sharing breath with him and Velaxis was moving seductively. The intensity of their aruna frightened Vaysh on one level, but at the same time, he realized something profound was happening.

 

Velaxis gathered the energy Pellaz had built a moment before and added his own magic to it. He guided it into Vaysh’s body and mind and toward the places which Thiede had damaged. He carefully oversaw the repairs necessary in order for Vaysh to become whole again.

 

One moment Pellaz was sharing breath with Vaysh and the next, the red-haired har fainted. The lips released his, the gray eyes closed, and the fingers that had been clutching his, relaxed. Worried, he looked at Velaxis.

 

Velaxis reached his climax and his power mixed with Pellaz’ aren. It became a powerful ointment that covered Vaysh’s damaged insides and made him whole again. “It is done,” he whispered and then collapsed on top of Vaysh. He had gone to the edge to reclaim Vaysh. Until that last moment he hadn’t realized just how badly Thiede had damaged him. “Let him sleep. It will be easier on him that way. All his energy is now directed at healing himself.”

 

“What about you?” Pellaz supported Velaxis when the other har slid off of Vaysh. For one moment, Velaxis’ mind was open and allowed Pellaz a peek inside. He was stunned at what he found there. Velaxis was hosting Caeru’s pearl? But it was not the right moment to bring it up, so he remained quiet. It might be wise to figure out first how he felt about that revelation.

 

“I am just tired. I used a lot of energy to make the magic work.” Velaxis curled up on his side. “I need to rest.”

 

“Then sleep. I will watch over the two of you. You are safe with me.”

 

Velaxis smiled. “I like you better than I thought…” He closed his eyes and joined Vaysh in slumber.

 

~~~

 

Pellaz had managed to maneuver his charges in such a way that they were curled around each other. Vaysh was actually holding Velaxis in his sleep and Pellaz was more than happy to hold Vaysh in turn. He fervently hoped that their plan had worked and that Vaysh was whole once more. They would probably find out once the red-haired har woke up again.

 

But the discovery he had made earlier occupied him the most. Velaxis was actually hosting Rue’s pearl. Why hadn’t Rue told him about that? He narrowed his eyes and wondered if Caeru actually knew. But Velaxis would surely not keep this to himself? Caeru had the right to know that he had fathered a pearl.

 

To his surprise, Pellaz realized he actually felt pleased and happy. He had hurt Caeru deeply during the last few years and Velaxis was the har that could heal that hurt. “I hope you will stay, Velaxis.” Pellaz hadn’t expected some sort of reaction, but suddenly Velaxis started to turn. A moment later, the silver-haired har lay facing him. Pellaz smiled and said, “I didn’t realize you were awake.”

 

Velaxis interpreted the knowledge in Pellaz’ eyes correctly. “I was careless.”

 

Pellaz carefully shrugged. “You aren’t the first. I ended up with pearl because I was careless towards the end.” A sly grin surfaced on his face. “Did the same thing happen to you by any chance?”

 

Velaxis carefully schooled his features. “I am not quite sure how it happened. I was focused on healing Rue and everything felt so right. You probably guessed the truth – I care for Caeru deeply. Am I in trouble now?”

 

Pellaz shook his head. “No, you are not. Did you think you were?”

 

“I am hosting the Tigrina’s pearl. That might be a bit problematic.”

 

Pellaz wasn’t impressed. “Why shouldn’t Caeru be allowed to father pearls? I do not want to limit him to just hosting them. And especially now… Since he can host or father pearls again I want him to experience it all.”

 

“You are remarkably generous and understanding, Pellaz. You amaze me.”

 

“We have all changed,” Pellaz replied and tightened his hold on Vaysh. “And I want Vaysh to change too. He needs to change.”

 

Relieved that Pellaz had changed their subject, Velaxis remarked, “I didn’t know the extent of the damage Thiede had done. If I hadn’t put him under my spell he would never have allowed us to touch him.” Velaxis sighed. “Whoever becomes his chesnari will have a hard time getting close to him.”

 

“I might know of a har who is willing to take the risk.”

 

“Not Ashmael I hope?” Velaxis shivered. “I don’t particularly like him.” He had never liked taking aruna with Ashmael. Ashmael had made him go chilly whenever he had touched him. He had only taken aruna with the blond because of the information he had needed. “They might have been chesna once, but I don’t think Ashmael is the right har for Vaysh at this point.”

 

“I agree with you.” Ashmael would be too much to handle for Vaysh, who would probably feel unbalanced for a long time. “But Phade will do nicely.”

 

Velaxis raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Phade…” He remembered the har from his visits to a very young Darq. “Doesn’t he already have a chesnari?”

 

“Not anymore…” Pellaz still kept in touch with Phade occasionally. “And I know he has wanted to visit Immanion for quite some time now. I will invite him.”

 

“It might work. That is if you are sure Phade feels attracted to Vaysh?”

 

“Quite sure.” Pellaz recalled the way the two hara had bantered in the past. “This will work,” he added, feeling confident that Phade was the right har for Vaysh. “You will see. It will work perfectly.”

 

~~~

 

An odd feeling washed over Vaysh when he woke up. His eyelids fluttered and the first thing he realized was that he wasn’t alone in bed. He *always* woke up alone in bed! Opening his eyes slowly, he was surprised to find himself looking into Velaxis’ face. But then he remembered what had happened only a few hours ago. Pellaz and Velaxis had come to his rooms and had taken aruna with him. At first, he had been reluctant to let them proceed, but Velaxis had somehow made him agree. Since the other hara were still fast asleep, Vaysh carefully freed himself of their embrace and swung his feet to the floor. His head reeled and his body was sending him confusing messages. He felt different, but in what way?

 

After pushing himself to his feet, he made his way over to the window. He didn’t look outside though, but instead turned around and studied the two hara resting on his bed. Pellaz had become his best friend – his only friend – over the years and he had learned to trust the other har, but Velaxis was a different matter. Velaxis was a mystery and he remembered Pellaz telling him that he didn’t trust the silver-haired har. So how could this have happened?

 

Wrapping his arms around his waist, Vaysh rocked slightly. It was a habit that had formed many years ago and every now and then his fear got the better of him and he would start rocking. They had taken aruna and Vaysh didn’t know what to make of that. They had promised to heal him, but Vaysh knew he had been damaged beyond all hope. But they had done *something* to him. He sensed that much.

 

Suddenly he realized that he didn’t feel that cold anymore. Normally he always felt chilly, but the sensation had left him. He slowly uncurled his arms from around his frame and frowned while placing the palms of his hands on his flat abdomen. Something was different alright. But what?

 

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t register the other two waking up. At Velaxis’ gesture, Pellaz got out of bed and made his way over to Vaysh.

 

Velaxis eyed Vaysh closely and noticed the soft glow that clung to his skin. The eyes were alive again and it wouldn’t be long before Vaysh figured out what had happened. Velaxis then shifted his attention to Pellaz and reached out to him in mind touch. /He is like a newly incepted har, or a har having gone through feybraiha. You need to take aruna with him again./ Anticipating Pellaz’ next question, he added, /It doesn’t matter which role you assume, but it might be nice if you let him be ouana for a change. His body desires that the most, even though Vaysh does not realize it. I will leave the two of you alone now. You no longer need me./ Velaxis, unnoticed by a confused Vaysh, got out of bed and snuck over to the doorway.

 

Pellaz however had no intention of letting Velaxis leave like that. Since Vaysh was still lost in his own little world, Pellaz replied mentally, /You had better visit Rue and tell him what has happened. He has the right to know he fathered a pearl. You must understand… Rue thought he would never have more sons. This one will be precious to him./

 

Although Velaxis wasn’t convinced that telling Rue was the best thing to do, he nodded. Since Pellaz knew the truth and seemed accepting of it, he no longer had a real choice. If he had managed to keep his secret he could have left and raised the harling, but since his secret was out… /I will visit Rue today./

 

/Good, don’t forget about it./

 

Velaxis heard the unspoken threat and sighed deeply. It was time he left and did some thinking. He quickly closed the door behind him and returned to his rooms.

 

TBC

 

Part 3

 

Pellaz covered the distance between Vaysh and him and wrapped his arms around Vaysh from behind. Vaysh at first grew tense, but then seemed to relax once he realized who was holding him. Pellaz rested his head against Vaysh’s shoulder and waited for his friend to address him.

 

Vaysh swallowed hard when Pellaz enfolded him in a hug. The Tigron pressed his body against his back and Vaysh bowed his head. His red hair tumbled in front of his face and Vaysh desperately tried to think of anything to say.

 

As Vaysh remained quiet, Pellaz realized it was up to him to start the conversation. “Do you feel any different, Vaysh?”

 

Vaysh’s mouth felt dry and he swallowed repeatedly to rid himself of the lump of emotions that had settled down in his throat. “What happened?”

 

“We healed you.” Pellaz moved his hand until it rested against Vaysh’s abdomen. “In body at least. I doubt anyhar but yourself can heal your mind.” But healing the body had been the first and most important step. Pellaz turned Vaysh around in the embrace until they faced each other. “You are no longer barren, Vaysh.” The stricken expression on Vaysh’s face showed that there were other issues Vaysh was fighting with.

 

“You shouldn’t have done this,” Vaysh whispered in a lost voice. “What am I supposed to do now?”

 

“You need to continue healing, Vaysh, and I will be there to support you.” Vaysh gave him a look full of suspicion.

 

“What about Rue and Cal? You belong with them, not with me.” Vaysh felt conflicted. He could tell that Pellaz had told him the truth, but his head spun and he had no idea what to do with this newly acquired information. “Nohar wants me at any rate. You shouldn’t have done this.”

 

“That will change. I know of a har who will welcome the chance to become your chesnari and no, don’t worry, it is not Ashmael.” Pellaz had seen the panic rising in Vaysh’s eyes. “But we are getting ahead of ourselves.” Pellaz buried a hand in Vaysh’s red hair and smiled at him. “There is something we need to do now to finish the process.”

 

Vaysh had a pretty good idea what Pellaz was hinting of. “No, you don’t have to take aruna with me again.” He expected a panic attack to hit him, but it didn’t and that made him feel even more confused. Whenever he used to think of aruna, a cold sweat would break out and flashes of Thiede raping him would appear in his mind’s eye. But none of that happened now. Apparently Velaxis and Pellaz had done a better job than he had thought.

 

Pellaz wasn’t going to accept 'no' for an answer and rested his hand at the column of Vaysh’s neck. Slowly and without using any force, he brought Vaysh’s face closer to his until he could press his lips onto the other har’s and share breath with him. Vaysh’s mind no longer felt so cold or distant and after a few moments, Vaysh actually started to kiss him back and small puffs of feelings flowed into Pellaz’ mouth. Vaysh *was* warming up to him.

 

The open window allowed the breeze in and the wind cooled his skin, which was feeling quite hot. Vaysh wanted to pull away and stop the madness, but his body had been without aruna for years and since it had tasted those delights again, it wanted more. Losing control scared him, especially when he started to kiss Pellaz back and relinquished sparks of his affection for the other har.

 

Pellaz was content to share breath with Vaysh for another few minutes, but then moved his hand and ended up massaging and cupping Vaysh’s buttock. He took no notice of the fact that they were standing in front of the window and that hara passing below would see them. He was solely focused on Vaysh’s needs and his own.

 

Vaysh groaned and trembled under the kisses and touches which Pellaz was bestowing on him and he felt lost in more ways than one. Then unexpectedly, Pellaz moved a hand in-between their bodies. Vaysh expected Pellaz to reach for his soume-lam, but those fingers curled around his ouana-lim, which had wanted to hide within his body. But with Pellaz cunningly manipulating the organ, Vaysh reacted passionately and the stem blossomed within Pellaz’ hand. “What are you doing?” he asked, feeling breathless.

 

Pellaz merely smiled at Vaysh and cocked his head. It was about time Vaysh remembered what taking aruna was supposed to be like. Earlier that day they had already taken aruna, but then, their goal had been to heal Vaysh, not to give him immense pleasure. Pellaz turned Vaysh about and then hopped onto the window sill.

 

Vaysh swallowed nervously when Pellaz’ large, dark eyes searched his. “I can’t do this.”

 

“Yes, you can.” Pellaz placed his hands on Vaysh’s hips and pulled him closer. “I am sure you still remember how this works and if not, it will be my pleasure to remind you.” Pellaz had become soume and already ached to feel Vaysh claim him. He wondered what Vaysh was like when he was ouana. “Come to me, Vaysh.”

 

It was like Pellaz had put him under a spell. There was no way for Vaysh to deny this beautiful har and he moved in-between Pellaz’ parted legs. Awed, he watched how Pellaz arched against him and devoured his ouana-lim, almost sucking it inside with one powerful forward thrust. Vaysh threw back his head and released a scream.

 

Grinning in pleasure, Pellaz wrapped his arms and legs around Vaysh. His buttocks no longer touched the window sill as Vaysh supported him. Latching onto Vaysh’s lips, Pellaz instigated another bout of sharing breath and thrust against Vaysh, trying to tell him what he wanted.

 

Vaysh however was too dazed to pay attention to the signals Pellaz was sending him. It had been a long time since he had last enjoyed taking such uncomplicated aruna and his body craved more of it. Feeling breathless, he started to pant quickly and clutched Pellaz close to him. He had always suspected that Pellaz was a wanton har beneath the mask he wore, but this was the first time he was getting a taste of it himself. Enveloping Pellaz in a tight hug, he made sure the other har was set securely in his arms and only then did he dare to thrust upwards.

 

Pellaz became very vocal at that point. “Oh, Vaysh!” Moaning, groaning, and crying out, he buried his fingernails in Vaysh’s back. Vaysh’s thrusts became more forceful and focused and Pellaz buried his head against Vaysh’s shoulder. He opened his eyes, for he had closed them to savor the sensation, and his breath caught as he realized that they were being watched. It was Thiede, standing in the corridor opposite the window and the expression on the har’s face was one of disbelief.

 

Pellaz’ mind raced. Should he warn Vaysh so that they could move this to the bed? But no, let Thiede see what they were doing. Let Thiede know that he had managed to heal Vaysh, the har which Thiede had simply discarded after realizing he was damaged. Let him see their passion and Vaysh coming to power. Their gazes locked and Pellaz noticed the shocked expression in Thiede’s eyes. /Yes, I healed him. You never bothered. You gave him to me… And Vaysh was mine to heal. Leave him alone./ A strong layer of protective emotions accompanied Pellaz’ mind touch and Thiede started to walk again. Although Pellaz and Thiede were friends, Pellaz had never forgiven Thiede for what he had done to Vaysh.

 

Thiede vanished from view just in time as Vaysh rapidly neared orgasm. Pellaz shared breath with Vaysh again, carefully hiding any thoughts that would tell Vaysh who had been watching them and then let go.

 

Vaysh’s legs threatened to give out beneath him and he staggered over to the bed. Lowering Pellaz onto it, he covered the Tigron’s body with his. He panted hard when wings of ecstasy carried him higher and he wasn’t alone up there. Pellaz was at his side, soaring just as high as he did. A smile surfaced on Vaysh’s face and he clutched Pellaz to him. Satiation, pleasure, love, and contentment settled in the pit of his stomach, telling him that Pellaz had spoken the truth. He had been healed.

 

Pellaz guided Vaysh’s head onto his shoulder and patted the red hair. Vaysh’s breath came rapidly and the red-haired har trembled over his entire body. “That was good,” he commented and pressed a kiss onto a red lock. “More than good.” Vaysh laughed with a slight hysterical edge against Pellaz’ shoulder and then raised his head. It was then that Pellaz realized Vaysh was crying. “Dry your tears, Vaysh. Your time of mourning has ended.” With his fingertips, he wiped the moisture away. “Rejoice instead.”

 

Vaysh found it hard to believe that he had really been healed, but his body was telling him it was whole again. “What do I do now?” He raised his head and looked questioningly at Pellaz. The thought of being alone again in these rooms without Pellaz made him feel like the walls were closing in on him. He had the feeling that the moment Pellaz left he would fall victim to hysteria.

 

Since Vaysh wasn’t shielding his thoughts, Pellaz easily picked up on them. “Come with me then. I doubt Cal will mind you staying with us and Caeru…well Rue will be busy attending to his own business.” Rue might want to move temporarily to his private apartments while Velaxis was hosting. He just hoped Velaxis would work up the courage to tell Caeru.

 

“Move in with you? But Cal and I…” They didn’t get along exactly. Cal tolerated him at best.

 

“Let me worry about Cal.” Pellaz had the feeling Cal might warm up to Vaysh rather quickly.

 

~~~

 

“What’s wrong, Rue?” Cal had little trouble picking up Caeru’s thoughts. A note had been delivered a few minutes earlier and Cal surmised Caeru had gotten an unpleasant message. Moving in on the Tigrina, he wrapped his arms around Caeru from behind and tried to read the note.

 

“Velaxis asked me to meet with him in my private rooms. I wonder why.” Rue couldn’t help blushing. Memories of them taking aruna burned in his mind.

 

Cal playfully nudged Caeru’s side. “Then go and find out what he wants and take your time.” He wiggled his eyebrow meaningfully.

 

Caeru grinned as Cal’s enthusiasm affected him. “In that case, I will take my time.” He leaned in closer and pressed a kiss onto Cal’s brow. “Thanks for everything, Cal.”

 

Cal merely nodded his head and swatted Caeru’s bottom when the Tigrina didn’t move right away. “Have fun, Rue,” he called out once the Tigrina headed off. “Have lots of fun.”

 

~~~

 

Velaxis nervously paced the room. He had let himself in and was waiting for Caeru to join him. In his mind, he kept rehearsing ways of telling his friend what had happened. He had the suspicion that Caeru was clueless. The Tigrina had no idea what had happened the second time they had taken aruna.

 

“Vel?” Caeru stood in the doorway and watched Velaxis pace. The restlessness that lay on the other har’s face worried him. His first thought was that Velaxis had decided to leave Immanion and that he was nervous about telling him. He would miss Velaxis.

 

“Rue!” Velaxis turned around and his mouth went dry at seeing the har he had loved from a distance for so long. It had started the first moment he had set eyes on Caeru. He had instantly realized that they were somehow connected and had cursed the day when he had realized that Caeru belonged to Pellaz. “Thank you for coming so quickly.”

 

“Your note worried me.” Caeru covered the distance between them, but didn’t touch Velaxis yet. He somehow thought Velaxis might not want to be touched at that moment. “Are you leaving?” Caeru felt an incredible amount of relief when Velaxis shook his head. “I am glad you are staying. I don’t want to lose your company.”

 

Velaxis swallowed hard. “I considered leaving,” he responded honestly. “But something happened and stopped me from carrying out my plans.”

 

“What happened?” Caeru, wishing Velaxis would seem more approachable, hid his hands behind his back. His fingers itched to touch Velaxis and pull him into an embrace.

 

Velaxis found it hard to look Caeru in the eye and turned around so he didn’t have to face him yet. Velaxis turning away from him puzzled Caeru, but for the moment he decided not to address it since it was obvious the silver-haired har was struggling with personal problems.

 

“Something happened when we took aruna...while I was soume.” Velaxis’ fingernails clawed at the back of the chair in front of him.

 

Caeru blinked. “You are not making any sense, Vel. I know you healed me. Is that what you are referring to?”

 

“No, it isn’t.” Velaxis drew in a deep breath and bowed his head. “Me healing you was part of the plan, but me opening my cauldron of creation and allowing you to father a pearl wasn’t – not really.” Once his secret was out, he looked at Rue from over his shoulder and saw a myriad of emotions flashing across the handsome face. That was one thing Caeru hadn’t expected to hear.

 

Caeru blinked dazedly. “What did you say? You can’t have said what I thought I heard.” None if it made sense.

 

“You fathered a pearl, Rue.” Velaxis turned around to face Caeru slowly. He hadn’t known how Rue would react to the news, but the blank stare aimed at him worried him.

 

“But…” Caeru frowned and bowed his head, thinking everything over before shaking his head, sending his fair locks dancing on his shoulders. “But I can’t father pearls.”

 

“I healed you. Let me assure you that you can father pearls. There is nothing wrong with you. I simply lost control.” Velaxis started to feel uncomfortable beneath Caeru’s blank stare. “I am hosting.”

 

Caeru blinked, swallowed hard, and then tried to speak again. “I am confused, Vel…”

 

Velaxis took a chance and embraced Caeru. The Tigrina immediately nestled himself in his arms and the fair head came to rest against Velaxis’ shoulder. “I would have been surprised if you weren’t. I never planned for it to happen. It just did.” Velaxis held his breath involuntarily. “Can you accept this? Or do you want me to leave Immanion?”

 

The last question pulled Caeru away from his shock and he grabbed hold of Velaxis’ arms. “You are not leaving, you hear me?” He lifted his head and looked Velaxis’ in the eye. “I am confused because I am not supposed to father pearls, Vel. I am the Tigrina of Immanion. I am supposed to host the Tigrons’ pearls, not father my own.”

 

Remaining quiet, Velaxis gave Caeru the time he needed to sort out his thoughts.

 

“Vel, I thought I would never have more sons.” Caeru cupped Velaxis’ cheek in the palm of his hand and gave the other har a look full of affection. “And now you are telling me that you are hosting my pearl. It feels like the world is upside down.”

 

Velaxis managed a smile although he still felt insecure of Caeru accepting this pearl – this harling. Maybe he should try to make it easier on the Tigrina. “Pellaz already knows and accepts the pearl. It was Pellaz who told me to speak with you and tell you the truth. I might have run otherwise.”

 

Caeru fell from one surprise into the next. “Pell knows? And he doesn’t mind?”

 

“I think he is happy for you. He has really come a long way these last few months. He loves you enough to let you have this.” Velaxis’ smile became a bit more genuine. “I had hoped this news would make you happy.”

 

“It does,” Caeru replied quickly. “It is just something of a shock as well.” He pulled Velaxis close and hugged him. “I can’t believe I will have another son. Maybe this time around I will get to see him grow up and find a way for him to love me back.”

 

Velaxis soothingly rubbed Caeru’s back. The Tigrina had had his share of drama and pain in the past. Abrimel’s love for Caeru had changed into hatred and Darq had been out of Caeru’s reach for many years. And Loki… Although Loki loved Caeru, they weren’t related. Until now, Velaxis hadn’t realized just how valuable this new harling would be to Caeru. This was going to be the harling Caeru could fuss over, love, and watch grow up. “I promise you that nohar will come between you and our son. He is yours to love and cherish.”

 

The soft declaration healed an old ache that had lingered in Caeru’s heart for many years. He buried his face in Velaxis’ silver hair and inhaled the other har’s scent deeply. If Pellaz was okay with this, Caeru might get his wish to raise another harling, one who was truly his own.

 

~~~

 

“We shouldn’t do this. It is a bad idea.” Vaysh was worried about how Cal would react when Pellaz simply brought him to the Tigrons’ apartment. “I should go back to my rooms.”

 

“No, you are not.” Their apartments were adjourning, but Pellaz wasn’t going to let Vaysh go back there. Vaysh admitting that he didn’t want to be alone was a big step and he was going to encourage his friend to continue to open up to him. “Cal will deal with it and accept it.” Not encouraging Cal to befriend Vaysh was another mistake he had made. He had allowed for the two hara to simply ignore each other.

 

Pellaz took hold of Vaysh’s wrist and pulled him along while he opened the door to his bedroom and called out, “Cal, are you in there?”

 

Vaysh felt something akin to panic building in his stomach and was grateful he had been able to drape an evening robe over his shoulders. Pellaz however was naked and didn’t seem to mind. “Pell, don’t…”

 

But Pellaz didn’t listen and continued to drag Vaysh along. Cal stepped out of the bathroom with only a towel slung around his narrow waist and his eyes immediately narrowed as they focused on Vaysh standing there.

 

“Cal, Vaysh is staying with us for a while.” Pellaz gave Cal a look that told the blond Tigron he had better comply.

 

Cal cocked his head and studied Vaysh. Normally the other har oozed aloofness and a perpetual chill, but now Cal only encountered confusion and a hint of fright in the gray eyes. “Is he?” Vaysh averted his eyes and was staring at the floor. The reaction told Cal all he needed to know. /You were successful, then,/ he commented in mind touch.

 

Pellaz nodded his head. “We healed him. Vaysh is whole again.” He saw no reason for communicating via mind touch. He had seldom hidden things from Vaysh and he wasn’t going to start now. “I thought it would be best if he wasn’t alone right now. I don’t want him to start brooding.”

 

Cal laughed. “You want *me* to keep him from brooding?”

 

Pellaz grinned. “If you want to… be my guest.”

 

Vaysh almost choked when he realized the hidden sexual innuendo beneath their words. Pellaz hadn’t invited Cal to take aruna with him, had he? Vaysh trembled and wondered if Pellaz would let him return to his rooms after all.

 

“No, you are staying. You know the location of the bathroom. Clean yourself up. I will bring you clothes.” Pellaz inclined his head in the direction he wanted Vaysh to move in.

 

The redhead however wasn’t looking forward to moving because that meant he had to pass Cal since the blond Tigron was blocking the doorway to the bathroom. Cal was giving him a look which could only be described as predatory curiosity and that increased his worries. Why was Cal looking at him like that?

 

The blond liked to take aruna with hara that Pellaz had been intimate with and Vaysh looked like a provocative challenge, one he would enjoy seducing. Cal had undergone his own rites of healing and knew that he had to let go of the past where Vaysh was concerned. He embraced the present and would support the other har. “If you want, I can help,” he offered wickedly and was surprised to see Vaysh avert his gaze rather bashfully.

 

“Don’t tease him like that,” Pellaz scolded and pushed Cal gently out of the way. Once Vaysh was inside the bathroom, he closed the door behind the har. Looking at Cal, he said, “We are going to talk.” He was going to make sure Cal behaved in Vaysh’s presence and would give the red-haired har the time he needed to get used to his new life.

 

~~~

 

Vaysh stood in the bathroom and didn’t move. He knew he was supposed to take a bath and clean himself up, but for some reason he just couldn’t move. He felt lost and, in a strange way, found. Vibrations which had once felt familiar washed over his body and with them came the images of the aruna he had just taken with Pellaz. Realizing that his body craved more was a shock to him. Before Thiede had gotten his hands on him, he had been a very sensual har and Ashmael had at times jokingly complained that Vaysh was wearing him down, but Ashmael had always given in to him. But Ashmael was no longer his chesnari and he had no har he could turn to with his needs.

 

~~~

 

Cal settled down on their luxurious bed and watched Pellaz, who preferred to stand next to him. He wrapped his arms around his chesnari’s waist and pulled him close until he could rest his head against Pellaz’ abdomen. “So Vaysh is temporarily moving in?”

 

“Would you mind if I answered that question affirmatively?” Pellaz rested a hand on Cal’s fair head and stroked the blond hair. “I fear for him. Although he has healed in body I am not quite sure how successful we were in mending his emotional scars. He might need us for a while.”

 

“I don’t mind. I should have known you would do something like this. It is a good thing Rue isn’t here or else things might end up crowded.” Pellaz smiled mysteriously and Cal picked up on the other har’s amusement. Raising his head, he frowned at Pellaz. “You know something I don’t.”

 

Pellaz caressed Cal’s face and then sat down on the bed. “Something unexpected happened when Velaxis and Caeru took aruna in order to heal our consort.” Pellaz wondered if he would need to spell it out to Cal, who was usually quick on the uptake.

 

Cal groaned. “Don’t tell me one of them lost control?”

 

“Velaxis did. Rue fathered a pearl.” Pell smiled brilliantly. “Isn’t that great?”

 

Pellaz’ approving reaction surprised Cal at first. “And you seem mighty pleased that happened.”

 

“I am. I *do* want Rue to be happy and for so long he thought he wouldn’t have any more sons. I am really pleased that he is getting this chance to see another harling grow up. The ordeal with Darq affected him so deeply, Cal. It hurt him more than it did us. We weren’t hosting that pearl, but Rue was.”

 

“You are right.” Cal rubbed his cheek against Pellaz’ abdomen. “One of us should check on Rue though. You never know just how he will react to hearing that Velaxis is hosting.”

 

“I will check on him.” Pellaz freed himself of Cal’s loving embrace and dressed in green robes. “Keep an eye on Vaysh, will you?” He was receiving confusing thoughts from his friend and he didn’t want Vaysh to be alone.

 

Cal nodded. “I will check on him. It seems he needs someone close.” He had received the same thoughts, which spoke of great emotional upheaval.

 

“And behave,” Pellaz added as he leaned in closer to share breath with Cal. “Don’t overwhelm him, Calanthe.”

 

Cal grinned at hearing his full name. “I won’t do anything against Vaysh’s wish.”

 

Pellaz sighed. Maybe it was a bad idea to leave Cal in charge, but he had no choice. He had to make sure Rue was fine with Velaxis hosting his pearl.

 

~~~

 

Pellaz knocked on the door to Rue’s private apartments and waited for his consort to allow him in. A moment later the door opened and he looked at Caeru’s face, which still showed traces of tears. Pellaz hoped they had been tears of happiness.

 

“Pell.” Caeru reached for his consort and pulled him into his arms. “Vel told me everything.”

 

Pellaz allowed Caeru to pull him inside and savored the hug. “I am happy for you.” From the corner of his eye he saw Velaxis standing close, shuffling his feet and looking rather shy. “Just enjoy this time, Rue.”

 

Rue released Pellaz and more tears flowed down his face, but out of happiness. “Thank you for accepting this.” Caeru reached for Velaxis and twined their fingers. “I didn’t know… I had hoped… I can’t believe you are okay with this!”

 

“I see no reason to deny you your happiness, Rue. May I suggest Velaxis moves into your apartments? That way you have more privacy.” Pellaz took a step away from the other two hara, but the smile remained on his face. He *was* happy for them.

 

Caeru’s eyes widened. “You wouldn’t mind?” The thought *had* crossed his mind, but he hadn’t been sure Pellaz would allow it. He would love to spend time with Velaxis. It would give them both a chance to prepare for the moment the pearl dropped.

 

“I insist.” Pellaz smiled at them. “I know what it means to find yourself with pearl unexpectedly. When I was hosting, I…” Memories and a certain amount of guilt overwhelmed him and he swallowed hard. “I didn’t know how Cal was going to react since the pearl wasn’t his.”

 

Caeru let go of Velaxis’ hand and embraced Pellaz again. They had been through a lot together and most of those moments had been unpleasant. “Cal loves you, Pell.”

 

“And Vel loves you. I *am* happy for you, Rue…although I hope that Vel plans on sharing you with me.” He did love Caeru in his own, very complicated way.

 

“I am not planning to keep Rue away from you,” Velaxis retorted, still trying to understand their complex relationship.

 

Caeru’s fingers moved through Pellaz’ raven hair. He would never stop loving Pellaz, regardless of the pain the Tigron had brought him. His heart was big enough to love both Velaxis and Pellaz…and the harling who Velaxis was going to bring into the world in two months’ time.

 

~~~

 

Cal didn’t like the direction Vaysh’s thoughts were taking. Vaysh had been in the bathroom for half an hour and still hadn’t moved. Thoughts of self-hatred had replaced Vaysh’s craving for aruna and Cal felt it was time to intervene. He didn’t want Vaysh to go back to being the bitter and distant har he had been for so long. Without knocking, he opened the bathroom door and strode inside. Vaysh, who had been motionless a moment before, spun around and eyed him suspiciously. The sudden movement also caused the robe to fall to the floor, leaving him naked and trembling.

 

Knowing that speaking even a single word could set Vaysh off, Cal opted for a silent seduction instead. Taking in Vaysh’s form, he realized that the other har had been neglecting his needs. He was too skinny and pale and even the dyed hair that should have shone seemed dull. He had often wondered about Vaysh and why the other har was the way he was. Pellaz had told him bits of pieces, but Cal was the kind of har who wanted to find out for himself.

 

Vaysh felt trapped. Cal blocked the only way out of the bathroom and he was painfully aware of his nakedness. He wanted to pick up the evening robes when Cal suddenly made his move. Unexpectedly warm lips claimed his. At first, it was just a kiss, but then Cal’s hands moved up his back to secure him in a tight embrace. Vaysh didn’t know what to make of it. Cal and he had seldom talked in the past and they certainly weren’t friends. Cal’s actions therefore made little sense.

 

Cal however knew exactly what he was doing. Vaysh might not be ready to admit his need to himself, but Cal sensed it clearly. Running his fingers through Vaysh’s hair, he deepened the kiss until it became sharing breath. Vaysh was off guard and it was easy for Cal to sort through the horrid memories that lurked inside Vaysh’s mind. Some of them were very similar to ones he had encountered in Pellaz’ and he started to feel a deep sympathy for Vaysh, who had lived through the same horrors as Pellaz had.

 

With his free hand, Cal turned on the tap and warm water started to fill the bathtub, which was big enough to hold them both. That bathtub had seen quite a bit of action since the Tigrons loved to take aruna surrounded by warm water.

 

Feeling entranced, Vaysh allowed Cal to guide him into the bathtub. He had no idea what was going on or what to expect, but his body made it very clear he should go along with anything Cal might suggest.

 

Sitting down in the tub, Cal pulled Vaysh down with him. Vaysh ended up seated between Cal’s legs with his back resting against Cal’s chest. Cal’s arms came around Vaysh’s waist and kept him in place. At the same time, Cal started to nibble on one of his ear lobes and Vaysh trembled in the embrace.

 

The fact that Vaysh was reacting so eagerly only served to encourage Cal. Only a few days ago, he wouldn’t have thought that the idea of taking aruna with Vaysh would appeal to him, but that had changed. When he pressed his lips on Vaysh’s shoulder blade, he could still detect Pellaz’ scent on Vaysh’s skin. Cal, eager to be in control of their situation, didn’t give Vaysh a chance to think things over. One of his hands explored along Vaysh’s chest until his fingers were able to roll a pert nipple between them. His other hand moved lower, curious to find out if Vaysh was becoming soume or ouana.

 

Vaysh’s body reacted instinctively to the probing fingers and became soume. He threw back his head and rested it on Cal’s shoulder. This felt too surreal for Vaysh to worry about it. It was probably just a dream from which he would wake up in bit. There was no way that Calanthe wanted to take aruna with him!

 

Cal grinned as he received that thought, but he remained silent since he didn’t want to break the spell. Vaysh’s eagerness and the fact that the other har needed this made him hurry up. He would have loved to play with Vaysh the way he played with Pellaz, subjecting him to hours of aruna, but that wasn’t what Vaysh needed. In a way Vaysh was like a har going through feybraiha and Cal happily obliged him. Slipping both hands beneath Vaysh’s buttocks, he lifted the other har until his ouana-lim could slide into Vaysh’s soume-lam. He entered Vaysh tenderly but determinedly and then settled the other har securely on his lap.

 

Vaysh’s world kept expanding. Each time he took aruna it felt like he became more real. What had started as a dream was quickly becoming reality. Cal was inside him and his body was reacting with pleasurable contractions of its own, signaling the blond Tigron how much he needed release.

 

The Tigron was determined to savor this however. He guided Vaysh’s back to his chest, wrapped one arm around the red-haired har’s waist, and held him tight. He didn’t thrust yet, intent on making this memorable for Vaysh. With his other hand, he tilted Vaysh’s head so they could share breath again.

 

Vaysh felt helpless in a way, but it was a good way, because Cal wanted to make him feel good.

 

A frown showing his disturbed thoughts crossed Cal’s brow. He had accidentally caught a glimpse of Thiede holding Vaysh down and that image alone was enough to anger him. He knew Pellaz had gone through a similar experience, but his chesnari hadn’t fought Thiede the way Vaysh had and in retrospect Cal was relieved that Pellaz had simply let Thiede have his way with him. Otherwise Pellaz might have ended up as damaged as Vaysh had been.

 

In order to counteract those horrible memories, Cal shared the pleasure he was currently experiencing with Vaysh. Maybe he hoped that those images would reassure Vaysh and encourage the red-haired har to take a more active role during aruna, but Vaysh didn’t react to the suggestions.

 

In the end, Cal started to thrust gently, intent on giving Vaysh the pleasure the other har had missed out on for so long. Sharing breath, Cal opened his mind up to Vaysh, creating a very intense, albeit temporary connection between them. Taking aruna with Vaysh greatly differed from taking it with Pellaz. Cal knew he shouldn’t compare the two, but he couldn’t help it. It also helped him understand just how much Vaysh had suffered since his death and remaking.

 

When it became inevitable that they were heading for a shared climax, Cal tried to draw it out as long as he could, but in the end, he had to give in. Pouring affection and pleasure into Vaysh’s mind, Cal tightened the embrace Vaysh was in and claimed the other har’s lips again, which had become bruised from sharing breath. Vaysh relaxed in his arms and his body shook violently.

 

Although Vaysh had already taken aruna with Velaxis and Pellaz, taking it with Cal was something else. Calanthe was a force of his own. Gigantic waves washed over Vaysh when they finally climaxed.

 

Cal rocked Vaysh slowly in his arms and cooed into his ear. Holding him close, Cal waited for Vaysh to regain his senses. Vaysh tried to catch his breath and shifted on his lap, causing them to break their temporary physical connection. Turning Vaysh in the embrace, Cal guided the redhead to his chest and wrapped arms around Vaysh’s trembling form.

 

Vaysh’s lips now rested close to one of Cal’s nipples and when he spoke, warm breath caressed the flesh. “You took me by surprise,” Vaysh admitted.

 

“Well, I always have a hard time resisting temptation and you are very tempting at the moment. Do you realize you are literarily screaming out for aruna?”

 

“I am not!” Vaysh said indignantly.

 

“Yes, you are.” Cal patted Vaysh’s hair and the gesture reminded him on why he had maneuvered them into the bathtub in the first place. “Pell will have to keep me in check.” He reached for the shampoo and started to wash Vaysh’s mane. “It is dyed, isn’t it?”

 

Vaysh pushed himself upright and tried to sort out the mess Cal had managed to make of his hair. Rinsing it, he nodded. “I dye it, yes.”

 

“Why?” Cal had a good look at the roots and realized Vaysh was blond by nature.

 

“I didn’t feel like myself for a very long time.” Vaysh shyly peeked at Cal. “Only now am I starting to feel like my old self.”

 

Cal had taken hold of the soap and was working up lather. Once he was content with the amount of lather, he rubbed it onto Vaysh’s chest. Soft giggles left Vaysh’s lips and Cal realized the other har was ticklish. “You might want to stop dyeing it.”

 

“Maybe I will.” Having Cal clean him up was a strange experience, but Vaysh allowed it. “Why did you take aruna with me, Cal?”

 

“Because you needed it and, as I said before, I am really bad at resisting temptation.” Cal hooked his arms around Vaysh and pulled the other har close once more. “I am really glad Pellaz’ plan worked, Vaysh. I should have tried to get to know you some time ago, but better late than never, don’t you agree?”

Vaysh blushed. “I would say you have gotten to know me pretty well during this last hour.”

 

Cal grinned. “Yes, I *did* get to know you intimately and I liked it.”

 

The predatory gleam was back in Cal’s eyes and Vaysh wondered if Cal was already making plans for later that evening. The look Cal was giving him hinted that there might be more to come.

 

TBC

 

Part 4

 

Pellaz chose to head for his private rooms rather than return to the ones he shared with Cal and Caeru since there were a few matters he wanted to take care of. First, he sent for guards to report to him. Then, he instructed the head of his household staff to prepare a feast, which would be held the next evening. He wrote an invitation for Phade, which he handed to the officer who would fetch Phade. The last thing he did was to write another invitation and address it to Caeru.

 

~~~

 

Cal found Vaysh curled up on the bed. The har hadn’t bothered to dress and his still wet hair clung to his face. The attraction he felt toward Vaysh surprised Cal for he had never expected to develop feelings for him. But there was something about Vaysh that had pulled him in. Curling himself protectively around Vaysh, Cal wrapped the red-haired har up in an embrace.

 

~~~

 

Rue wiggled closer and giggled when Velaxis pressed a butterfly kiss onto his cheek. They had curled up on the bed and Caeru’s hand rested on Velaxis’ abdomen. He still had a hard time believing what Velaxis had told him, namely that he had fathered a pearl. His first pearl. He had hosted two, but had never thought he would actually father one!

 

Velaxis smiled at Caeru and endured the constant petting of his abdomen. He understood why this was precious to Rue, who was trying to convince himself that this was real. “In two months’ time we will have a precious harling.”

 

“I still can’t believe it.” Caeru was tempted to rest his head on Velaxis’ abdomen. He knew it was a silly human thing to do, but maybe he hadn’t shed his former humanity yet. Raising his head, he rested it against Velaxis’ shoulder. “You will stay, won’t you?”

 

“I will. I am not leaving you now that I have Pellaz’ ‘blessing’ to keep you. I never thought he would allow it.” Velaxis however wasn’t complaining. All he wanted to do was hold Rue and enjoy the peace and quiet as long as it lasted.

 

~~~

 

Pellaz advanced on the bed. The fabric of his robes dragged over the floor as he made his way over there. A warm smile appeared on his face at seeing Cal hold Vaysh. He had been worried that Cal might not warm up to the red-haired har, but it seemed he had worried unnecessarily. He sensed Cal’s essence on Vaysh as he sat down close to his chesnari. “I can smell you on him,” he murmured and gave Cal a reprimanding look. “Didn’t I tell you to behave?”

 

Cal pretended to feel guilty, but mirth reached his eyes and destroyed the so-called ashamed look. “I couldn’t restrain myself. I didn’t think it would be that hard to keep my hands off of him. I never felt attracted to him before.”

 

Stroking Vaysh’s hair, Pell smiled when the red-haired har snuggled closer to Cal in his sleep. “You never got a chance to get to know him,” Pellaz commented thoughtfully. “I am not surprised you like him.”

 

“What are your plans regarding Vaysh?” Cal watched Pellaz closely when the dark-haired har lay down on Vaysh’s other side. Pellaz turned onto his side and they looked each other in the eye.

 

“I have invited Phade to tomorrow’s dinner. I am organizing a party for Vaysh and, in a way, for Rue.”

 

Cal narrowed his eyes. “What exactly are you up to?”

 

“Phade was always interested in Vaysh. I want to find out if the attraction is still there. As far as Rue is concerned, I managed to find his old band and they will perform.”

 

“Rue will like that.” Cal possessively draped an arm over Vaysh’s waist, who miraculously enough, didn’t wake up. “And I get to escort Vaysh?” Since there would be a formal dinner before the party started, Rue had to be at Pellaz’ side. That meant Cal had his hands free to escort Vaysh.

 

Pellaz intercepted that particular thought and smiled while shaking his head. “You want that.”

 

“Why not? He fascinates me and I don’t know why.”

 

“I don’t blame you. Vaysh is very special, trust me.” Pellaz didn’t mind that Cal was attracted to Vaysh. In fact, he welcomed it.

 

~~~

 

Phade never expected to receive an invitation from the Tigron and failed to hide his surprise when Paran handed him Pellaz’ letter. He had often joked with Pellaz that one day he would visit Immanion, but he had never thought it would actually happen.

 

Reading the letter, he found he was invited to stay at court as long as he wanted and there was a separate letter which was an invitation to the next day’s party. The next day?

 

“I brought another sedu with me,” Paran said. “We can leave the moment you finish packing.”

 

Phade couldn’t help but wonder about the haste Pellaz was making with this visit. What had happened that Pellaz wanted him to join the Tigron so quickly?

 

~~~

 

Caeru accepted the letter a househar handed him and then frowned. He had spent all morning in bed with Velaxis, just holding and cuddling the other har and had been about to make plans for the rest of the day when Pellaz’ letter had reached him.

 

Velaxis approached, curious as to why Pellaz was sending Rue a letter.

 

Caeru unfolded the paper and his frown deepened. “It is an invitation,” he said, enlightening Velaxis. “For a party that will take place after dinner… Tonight? There is going to be a party tonight?” This was way too fast! “What is Pell thinking giving me such short notice? I have nothing to wear!”

 

Velaxis grinned. “Then let’s go naked.” Caeru shook his head, but the grin on his face showed that Rue didn’t mind the suggestion.

 

“I need to talk to Pell about this. He can’t expect me to organize a party on such short notice!”

 

From over Caeru’s shoulder, Velaxis read along. “It is an invitation, Rue. I don’t think you actually need to organize it.”

 

“That makes it even weirder.” Rue folded the paper and turned around. “Are you coming with me? I need to talk to Pell.”

 

Velaxis nodded once. “If that is what you want.”

 

“I am not letting you out of my sight,” Rue announced. Maybe a part of him was still worried that Velaxis might leave Immanion after all.

 

~~~

 

Caeru entered the bedroom and then came to a halt. Surprised he looked at the three hara curled up on the bed. It looked like they hadn’t moved during the last few hours. “Pell,” Rue called softly. “What is this about?” He waved the invitation at Pellaz.

 

Pellaz’ eyes had opened and he stretched, trying to wake up. “It is an invitation… I thought that was rather obvious!” He pushed himself into a sitting position and swung his feet onto the floor. Then he noticed Velaxis hiding behind Caeru. “I am sorry that you can’t escort Rue to dinner, but he will be free to join you once the official part is over.”

 

Velaxis inclined his head. “I understand. Caeru is the Tigrina after all.”

 

“But that doesn’t mean you have to do without his company. I will have Cal and Vaysh to keep me company.” Pellaz walked into the bathroom, leaving Rue and Velaxis standing there looking rather surprised at being left alone. But they weren’t alone for long since Cal had also woken up due to their talking.

 

Cal stretched in a feline manner and then tucked a sheet around Vaysh’s naked body. “I didn’t expect to see you for quite some time, Rue.” He gave Rue a heated look which told that he had thought the Tigrina to be busy taking aruna with Velaxis for the next few days.

 

“Cal, stop it.” Rue blushed and placed his hand in Velaxis’ when the other har moved closer.

 

Pellaz exited the bathroom and his first look was for Vaysh who was still sleeping. Fixing Velaxis with a gaze, he inquired, “Is it normal for him to sleep that much?”

 

Velaxis nodded. “He has been through a lot during the last few hours. He needs to recuperate.”

 

“I am glad it worked.” Pellaz gave Vaysh an adoring look. Vaysh didn’t know it yet, but Pellaz was going to make sure that he would be the belle of the ball that evening.

 

~~~

 

Vaysh’s eyelids fluttered and then opened. The first har he saw was Cal, who was sitting cross-legged on the bed and appeared to be meditating. Unwilling to disturb the other har, Vaysh tried to move soundlessly as he attempted to leave the bed.

 

Cal opened one eye and eyed Vaysh. “Where are you going?”

 

“Bathroom,” Vaysh answered softly. “How long have I been asleep?” He felt lazy and he found it hard to keep his eyes open. Shocked, he realized he was naked and quickly wrapped the sheet around his form.

 

“You went to sleep yesterday and didn’t wake until now. That is about twenty-four hours. It is a good thing you woke up, you know, because Pellaz expects you to join us for dinner and then a party later tonight.” Cal unfolded his legs and placed his hands down on the bed.

 

“Party?” Vaysh blinked and brushed his hair away from his face. “I don’t attend parties.”

 

“This one you will attend,” Cal retorted as he rose from the bed. “You still have a few hours to get ready.” He folded his arms around Vaysh and smiled in amusement when he saw the surprise in Vaysh’s eyes. “Don’t tell me you forgot we took aruna in the bathroom.” Vaysh grew flustered, showing that Vaysh remembered it in detail. “You don’t need to feel shy around me.”

 

Vaysh gathered his courage and looked Cal in the eye. “Why did you take aruna with me? I know you don’t like me. Nohar does.”

 

Cal understood Vaysh’s reasoning. “That is because you kept me at a distance. You are no longer the har you used to be and that will surprise hara.” Cal brushed Vaysh’s red hair behind his ears and studied the handsome face. “The way you are now, hara will flock around you. Pellaz finally got some serious competition.” He understood why Thiede had chosen Vaysh for his experiments. The same light that glowed from Pellaz’ core shone from Vaysh’s. “Rue will help you dress up. He volunteered.”

 

Vaysh groaned. What had he gotten himself into?

 

~~~

 

Caeru and Velaxis joined them two hours later. Vaysh had managed to calm down a bit, but he still was upset that Pellaz was forcing him to attend dinner and the party afterwards. In the past he had always eaten dinner in the privacy of his rooms.

 

Pellaz had excused himself since he was in the middle of receiving guests who had been invited for that specific evening.

 

“This is just like Pell,” Rue commented as he went through his closet to find some clothes that would suit Vaysh. “He organizes this party and then vanishes on us.”

 

Velaxis had seated himself close to Cal and joined the blond Tigron in watching Vaysh. Vaysh looked dazed for the Tigrina had announced that he was going to ‘fix him up’ so that Vaysh could drag off anyhar he wanted from the party.

 

“Oh, just admit it that you are enjoying yourself, Rue,” Cal retorted and pointed at Vaysh. “Especially now that you have a new ‘project’.” Cal himself had often been subjected to Rue’s attempts to ‘pretty him up’. Now Vaysh was Rue’s newest ‘victim’ and Vaysh was too dazed to put up much of a fight.

 

Rue finally made his choice and opted for several red, gold, and orange fabrics. “Let’s move this into the bathroom, Vaysh. We don’t need an audience.” Rue took hold of Vaysh’s arm and pulled the poor har along while Cal started to laugh.

 

Velaxis gave Rue a loving smile, but he also felt relieved that he wasn’t on the receiving end of Rue’s fussing.

 

~~~

 

“Pellaz.” Phade didn’t know if he was supposed to bow or show his respect in another way. It was one thing to play host to Pellaz and Darq. But it was another to be at the Tigron’s court where he was very much aware of Pellaz’ position and power.

 

“I am happy to see you, old friend.” Pellaz smiled at Phade and after a short moment of hesitation, he hugged the other har. “I wasn’t sure you would come to Immanion. I know how much you like your home.”

 

“Curiosity got the better of me,” Phade admitted. “There must be a reason why you wanted me to come on such short notice.”

 

Pellaz nodded. “You are right. I have a reason for asking you to join me so quickly. All will be revealed during dinner, Phade. Just be patient a little bit longer.”

 

“I don’t think I actually have a choice.” Since Pellaz wasn’t going to tell him now, he had to wait.

 

~~~

 

Phade felt cautious when he realized that he was seated at the main table. He hadn’t expected that. The rest of the chairs were empty since the Tigrons and Tigrina were fashionably late. Phade prayed that they would arrive quickly.

 

~~~

 

“Rue?” Pellaz had joined his consort and raised his hand so Caeru could place his hand in Pell’s palm. Pellaz intended to escort the Tigrina and had dressed up for the occasion.

 

“I love it when you wear blue.” Rue sighed appreciatively and was glad that Velaxis wasn’t around. The silver-haired har was already on his way to the hall where they would have dinner later. He would have felt guilty if Velaxis had heard that remark. Pellaz’ luxurious robes were midnight-blue and silver lined.

 

“You look beautiful yourself tonight.” Pellaz gallantly kissed Rue’s fingers and ignored Cal, who was giggling behind them. Dressed in black, Rue was quite a vision.

 

“Just ignore them,” Cal commented, trying to make conversation with Vaysh. “They are like that at times.” Cal glanced appreciatively at his companion for the night. He had curled his fingers around Vaysh’s and didn’t plan on letting go any time soon. “Rue has outdone himself,” he murmured in a sultry voice while eyeing Vaysh hungrily. “The red and gold he dressed you in make you stand out even more.” The red and gold tones enhanced Vaysh’s hair and gave him a warm and approachable appearance. “You will be fighting off hara all evening.”

 

Vaysh felt at a loss. How was he supposed to react to a comment like that? “You are wrong,” he replied eventually. “No one will look at me twice. I hope you won’t grow fed up with having to entertain me.” He could always retire early.

 

“You have no idea how you look, do you?” Cal shook his head. There was only one way to show Vaysh the truth about himself.

 

~~~

 

Velaxis stopped in his tracks when he realized that one har was already seated at the head table. Velaxis was supposed to sit down on the other end next to Caeru, but he paused and took in the har’s appearance. He knew Phade. Velaxis had been the one to deliver Darq’s pearl to Phade’s tower. Phade would doubtlessly recognize him, and yes, the dark-haired and eyed har suddenly looked in his direction. The eyes widened as they saw him standing there. The best defense was offence so Velaxis approached and inclined his head in greeting. “We meet again, Phade.”

 

Phade eyed Velaxis closely. “You brought Darq’s pearl to me.”

 

“I couldn’t give you my name back then, but I can now. I am Velaxis.”

 

Phade whistled softly between his teeth. “I have heard that name before.”

 

Velaxis wasn’t sure what to make of that and decided to seat himself since Pellaz’ party was about to arrive.

 

Phade’s attention was diverted to the entrance when one of the househara announced the arrival of the Tigrons and Tigrina. Pellaz was the first har he saw and he even recognized the Tigrina who walked beside him. Cal he had also met and next to Cal there was… Phade blinked. His eyes had to be playing tricks on him. Was that really Vaysh dressed in lovely warm colors and with a blush on his face? His ice-prince? His ice-maiden? How he had longed to see the ice melt so the real Vaysh could emerge from it!

 

Vaysh felt many eyes upon him, but there was one pair that attracted his attention. He raised his head to look at the har who was trying to probe his mind. Shocked, he came to a stop and forced Cal to do the same.

 

Bemused, Cal followed the direction of Vaysh’s stare and then remembered Pellaz’ plan to play matchmaker. It was Phade sitting there, watching Vaysh hungrily.

 

“What is he doing here?” Vaysh wished the floor would open up and swallow him. Phade had always tried to break through the wall of ice, which he had built around his heart, and although Phade hadn’t known it at the time, cracks had started to form even back then.

 

“I believe Pell invited him to the party. Pell has wanted to do so for quite some time.” Cal started walking again and Vaysh fell into step beside him.

 

With growing agitation Vaysh noticed that Cal was leading him to the chair standing next to Phade’s while Caeru was seating himself next to Velaxis. Pellaz sat in the middle and Cal took his place at Pellaz’ right side. That left Vaysh with only one chair to sit on...the one next to Phade’s.

 

Pellaz had once referred to Phade as a beauty and Vaysh was painfully aware of the fact of how plain-looking he had to be sitting next to Phade. Phade’s raven hair reached his buttocks and his black eyes probed his very soul. Vaysh would have sold his soul to be anywhere else but there.

 

“Vaysh, you look…breath-taking tonight.”

 

Vaysh raised his head sharply to glare at Phade. “You don’t have to lie.”

 

“I am not lying,” Phade retorted, feeling hurt. “I was being honest.”

 

Pellaz watched the hara seated close to the main table and noticed that Ashmael was staring at Vaysh. Ashmael’s jaw had dropped as he eyed Vaysh in shock. Pellaz grinned. Good, let the fool see what he had thrown away.

 

“When you had entered the room, I thought that you had changed,” Phade commented. “But your tongue is still sharp.”

 

Cal wanted to go to Vaysh’s defense, but Pellaz kicked him in the shin beneath the table. The blond Tigron glared at his chesnari.

 

/Let them sort this out. You won’t help Vaysh by telling Phade off. Trust me, they are equally matched. Phade is in shock and so is Vaysh. Give them some time and Vaysh’s tongue will lose it’s sting./

 

/I will trust your judgment then./ Cal however kept a close eye on Phade.

 

~~~

 

Ashmael couldn’t believe what he was seeing. It was doubtlessly Vaysh sitting there. But the fact that he looked flustered and cornered was something Ashmael found hard to believe. During all these years, Vaysh had never shown any emotions. What had changed that?

 

~~~

 

Caeru was ecstatic when he realized it was his old band taking to the stage and he looked questioningly at Pellaz. There was only one har powerful enough to orchestrate something like that. “Admit it, you brought them here.”

 

Pellaz admitted to doing that. “I was hoping you would take to the stage, Rue.”

 

Rue suddenly felt a bit shy. “It has been an awfully long time since I sang, Pell.” He was out of practice and his voice would probably sound like hell!

 

“Indulge me,” Pellaz replied and kissed the palm of Caeru’s hand. “Come on, admit it. You want to.” Caeru couldn’t deny that. “Velaxis? Why don’t you escort Rue over to the stage?”

 

Caeru rose from his chair and with Velaxis in tow made his way over to the improvised stage.

 

Cal placed his hand on top of Pellaz’ and smiled warmly at his chesnari. “I like it when you do things like that.”

 

Pellaz returned the smile. “It took me a while, but I understand now that I want to make Rue happy.”

 

“You did just that,” Cal remarked as he watched Caeru climb onto the stage and grab the microphone.

 

~~~

 

“Stop staring at me like that!” Vaysh felt nervous and fidgeted with the tablecloth. He was so focused on Phade that he hadn’t even noticed Ashmael eyeing him.

 

“I won’t apologize for staring,” Phade stated and resolutely placed his hand on Vaysh’s, effectively stopping the other har from fumbling with the tablecloth. “I can’t get enough of looking at you.” It amazed him that Vaysh made no effort to pull back his hand. He finally understood why Pellaz had invited him. Vaysh was the reason why he was there. Vaysh had changed and become more approachable. Phade was no fool. He knew he had a chance with Vaysh now. “Do you dance?”

 

Vaysh gulped and stared at Phade in shock. “Of course not!”

 

“Such a pity.” Phade however decided not to give in that easily. He curled his fingers around Vaysh’s wrist and got to his feet. “Maybe I know of a solution.”

 

Since Phade had a hold on his arm there was little Vaysh could do other than accompany Phade. “Where are you going? Let go of me!”

 

“Don’t make a scene, Vaysh.” Phade pulled Vaysh onto the balcony and, to his relief, saw that they were the only ones out there. “Will you dance with me now?”

 

Vaysh blinked and took in his surroundings. “Is that the reason you dragged me out here? So I would dance with you? You must be mad.” Vaysh gasped when Phade forcefully pulled him close. Their faces were only inches away and Phade’s strong arms encircled his waist. “What do you think you are doing? Let me go!”

 

Phade started to move to the music and Vaysh was forced to move along. “You resemble the ice-maiden of old,” he whispered into Vaysh’s ear. “But you never allowed me to see the fire in you before. You have changed, Vaysh.”

 

Phade’s words calmed Vaysh down and he willingly moved to the music. “You are right. I have changed, but that does not explain why you are here.”

 

“I think I know why I am here. Do you remember our bantering of old? You pretended to dislike me, but I believe you acted that coldly towards me because you *did* like me. You just tried to hide it.” Phade closed his eyes and focused on the sounds of the night, Vaysh’s scent, and the fact that they were grinding their lower bodies together. “Admit it, Vaysh. You always liked me.”

 

Vaysh bit his bottom lip. “I don’t like you.” But it was a lie and he knew Phade would see through it. The truth was that Phade was a har who had dared to confront him in the past. Phade *had* noticed him and their bantering *had* served a purpose. Suddenly Phade started to spin him about in a wild dance and Vaysh found himself giggling after a while. Phade was a beauty and Vaysh wondered what a beauty like that was doing pursuing him when Phade could have any har he wanted.

 

The music came to a stop and so did their dancing, but not before Phade pulled Vaysh closer. “You might pretend to not like me,” he murmured with a grin. “But I like you.”

 

Vaysh felt breathless as he looked into Phade’s sensual dark eyes. It stunned him that he wanted to take aruna again, but this time with Phade. Ever since Pellaz and Velaxis had healed him, he constantly craved aruna. It had been like that in the distant past when Ashmael and he had still been chesna. However, just thinking the name of his old chesna caused Vaysh’s desire to dwindle and he bowed his head, trying to rid himself of the memories.

 

Phade couldn’t quite explain what had happened the last few moments. Vaysh had seemed ecstatic one moment, but had turned depressed the next. He had wanted to share breath with the red-haired har, but realized that it would be a bad idea. Vaysh was obviously struggling with something. “Let’s sit down.” He guided Vaysh over to a bench and pulled the other har down with him when he sat down. Vaysh seated himself at a distance and Phade refused to let go of Vaysh’s hand, which he rubbed between his own. “Why do you feel so sad all of a sudden?” He still heard the echo of Vaysh’s giggling in his ears from when they had danced.

 

“I remembered something from my past.” Vaysh sighed deeply and raised his head. “Phade, why are you here?”

 

“I am here because Pellaz invited me, and no, I had no idea that you would be here too. But now I realize his agenda. He wanted us to meet again. He is sly that one.”

 

Vaysh had reached the same conclusion. “I know why he did it.” When Phade remained quiet, he continued. “I challenged him in a way. I told him that there was no har who would want to take aruna with me, let alone become my chesnari. He must have remembered the way we used to act around each other. That’s why he invited you.”

 

Phade smiled warmly. “I am glad he did. I always wanted to see you like this.”

 

Vaysh batted his eyelashes at Phade, involuntarily sending out signals that encouraged Phade to inch closer. “Pellaz healed me… I haven’t been myself these last few years. Thiede had done something to me that had left me…damaged.” Vaysh didn’t know why he was confiding in Phade, but he felt the other har had a right to know. “I was barren and couldn’t enjoy taking aruna. That changed only recently.”

 

Phade raised his right hand and lovingly fingered a lock of Vaysh’s hair. “I had always suspected that you had been hurt in the past. I knew there was a different har hidden beneath the frosty exterior, but you never let me see the real you.”

 

“I had to keep you at a distance. It is bad enough that Pellaz managed to take down the defenses I had built to protect me. I couldn’t let you in as well. It was too dangerous. You are right. I was made of ice back then. There is great strength in being cold like that, but at the same time it made me brittle and fragile. In the end, it took little to knock down my walls.”

 

Phade, feeling uncertain if Vaysh would accept such closeness, embraced Vaysh and pulled the trembling har close. For one moment it felt like Vaysh would fight him, but then the red-haired har relaxed against him and Phade tucked Vaysh’s head beneath his chin. “I've always wanted to do this –just hold you.”

 

Vaysh didn’t really know what to make of that admission. Just when he thought life couldn’t throw another surprise at him, it did. Sitting there and just listening to the music and Rue singing was nice. The tension left Vaysh’s body and he moved closer to Phade. He didn’t feel like talking. He just wanted to live in the moment. But then something happened.

 

Someone stepped onto the balcony.

 

Phade glared at the intruder. He felt protective and territorial of Vaysh although he couldn’t quite explain why. Vaysh had always seemed fragile to him, even when the other har had been acting distant and cold toward him. But since things had changed, Phade couldn’t help but feel even more protective.

 

Vaysh swallowed hard as he recognized the eyes staring at him from the darkness. They had haunted his dreams and waking hours for many years. Ashmael was standing in the shadows, watching them. Vaysh knew they could never be together again. Ashmael belonged in his past and could never be a part of his future. The last few years had formed a barrier neither of them could pull down. Ashmael had never tried to win him back and Vaysh had accepted that.

 

Ashmael abruptly turned and marched back into the hall again. Seeing Vaysh clinging to Phade had filled him with disgust.

 

TBC

 

Part 5

 

“What was that about? Will you tell me?” Phade instinctively tightened his hold on Vaysh. “Who was that har?”

 

“His name is Ashmael…” Vaysh thought it best to tell the truth. “A lifetime ago we were chesna… Before Thiede changed me.” He raised his gaze and searched Phade’s soulful eyes and came to realize that they had been dancing around each other for years. “Share breath with me and I will show you.”

 

Phade caressed Vaysh’s face and shook his head. “I want you to only do that if you feel comfortable in sharing breath with me. You can tell me, you know. Words will do.”

 

Vaysh shook his head and Phade’s fingertips rubbed against his cheek. “No, I want you to know…” He might falter if he had to tell his story aloud. He slid one hand along Phade’s cheekbone and brought the other har in for a kiss which then became sharing breath.

 

~~~

 

“Ashmael looks angry,” Cal remarked when the General marched into the corridor. It seemed Ashmael was leaving early.

 

“You know they were chesna once,” Pellaz responded and frowned.

 

“I am surprised you decided against trying to get them back together again.” From the corner of his eye Cal observed Rue, who was rocking the stage. It hadn’t taken Caeru long to find his voice.

 

“Ashmael isn’t the right har for Vaysh – not at the moment at any rate. Maybe they will be able to settle their differences in the future.” Pellaz drew in a deep breath and indulged himself with some sheh. “Anger consumes him, like it consumed you, Cal. The difference is that you got past the anger and healed. Ashmael never did. I am afraid there will be no happy ending for Ashmael and Vaysh. Their destinies lie with different hara.”

 

“Does that mean you think Phade will make a good chesnari for Vaysh?”

 

Pellaz nodded. “Phade is everything Vaysh needs in a har. Phade is patient, wise, loving, and mentally stabile. He is the perfect har for Vaysh.”

 

Cal wasn’t sure he agreed with Pellaz’ assessment, but decided not to question his chesnari’s point of view.

 

~~~

 

Phade remained quiet for some time as he tried to work through all the images he had seen in Vaysh’s mind. Vaysh had been honest with him and had given Phade full access to his mind, something which astounded Phade. Such an act implied Vaysh trusted him, which was another surprising discovery to make. “He didn’t come for you once he realized that you were alive?”

 

Vaysh needed to move away from Phade and inched toward the end of the bench. “I can’t blame him for that. I didn’t try to contact him either. Everything was just too awkward.”

 

“You still love him,” Phade whispered, wondering if opening his heart to Vaysh was a wise thing to do, especially since he now knew that Vaysh still had feelings for Ashmael.

 

“I doubt I can ever stop loving him. Ashmael is a part of me.” Vaysh composed himself again and looked Phade in the eye. “But I also know that we can no longer be. I have accepted that.”

 

Phade wasn’t convinced of that, but didn’t voice his worries. “Where does that leave us, Vaysh?” Had Pellaz made a mistake in inviting him? Maybe Pellaz should have concentrated on Ashmael instead? “You know that I have feelings for you. I hid them beneath our bantering, but I am certain they showed.”

 

Vaysh nodded. “They showed. I just didn’t want to acknowledge them.” Ashmael’s visit had upset him and the magic that had colored that evening had disappeared. “I want to go back inside.”

 

Phade rose from the bench, but didn’t let go of Vaysh’s hand. “I want to ask you something before we join the others again.” Vaysh’s gray eyes looked very young and vulnerable when they focused on him.

 

Vaysh swallowed nervously, having no idea what Phade was going to ask him.

 

“Do you want me to stay? Or should I return to my tower? I don’t want to pressure you in any way and I want you to know that you have a choice.” After witnessing Vaysh’s past he knew that having a choice was important to the other har.

 

That was not the question Vaysh had expected to hear, but he took his time carefully considering it. He knew that if he said yes, he would give Phade hope. It would be easiest to tell Phade to leave and that was what the old Vaysh would have done. But he *had* changed. “I would like for you to stay.” Vaysh trembled as he said that and Phade rubbed his fingers, trying to comfort him. “But understand that I can’t make any promises. Everything is new for me.”

 

“I understand. I will be patient.” Phade smiled and escorted Vaysh back into the hall. He had meant it when he had said that he would be patient and give Vaysh the time he needed.

 

~~~

 

Pellaz shifted excitedly on his chair when Phade and Vaysh made their way over to the main table. “Cal, they are back.”

 

Cal took one good look at Phade and realized the har was smirking smugly. Their conversation must have gone well, even with Ashmael dropping by so unexpectedly.

 

Phade guided Vaysh back to his chair and sat down when the red-haired har did. Addressing Pellaz, he commented, “I trust you can put me up a little longer? Looks like I will be staying.”

 

Pellaz smiled broadly. “You can stay as long as you want.” Leaning back into the comfort of his chair he felt smug because his plan was working.

 

~~~

 

Phade told Vaysh goodnight and pressed a chaste kiss onto the other har’s brow before disappearing down the corridor. Vaysh stayed behind, feeling rather lost, which Cal keenly sensed. The blond Tigron folded an arm around Vaysh and started to pull him along. “You will stay with us tonight.” He agreed with Pellaz in that Vaysh was in no condition to be alone.

“Only if I am not interrupting.”

 

“Don’t worry about that.” Cal and Pellaz exchanged a look. They had extra space in their bed since Rue had disappeared with Velaxis sometime during the evening. The two hara were probably taking aruna and Cal was certain they wouldn’t see Caeru until the next day. “You are staying with us.”

 

Vaysh decided not to fight them since Cal and Pellaz would get their way eventually. It pleased him that Cal had taken a liking to him for he had never thought that it would happen.

 

“You look relaxed,” Pellaz remarked once they were inside the Tigrons’ apartment. He ran a hand through Vaysh’s hair and searched the gray eyes. “I hope I didn’t offend you by inviting Phade.”

 

“No, you didn’t. It was a shock at first, but you are right. I like him.” Vaysh’s red hair tried to move in front of his face, but Pellaz brushed it aside so Vaysh couldn’t hide from Pellaz’ inquisitive gaze. “Ashmael was there too.”

 

“He left early.” Pellaz guided Vaysh over to the bed and started to strip him. “I am not going to lecture you,” he added and took his own clothes off once Vaysh was naked. “Hara kept Cal and me apart for years and I never understood why they did that.” Pellaz stretched out on the bed, pulled Vaysh into his arms, and watched Cal disrobe. “You need to follow your heart, Vaysh. Do what you need to do. Phade is the safer choice. He won’t disappoint or desert you. He is a har who loves unconditionally. But then there is Ashmael and choosing him is dangerous because he never moved on. His love might have become toxic.”

 

Cal knelt on the bed and crawled toward them. He spooned up behind Pellaz and looked at Vaysh, who was on his side staring at them. “Pell is right. Phade is the safer choice, but that is a decision only *you* can make. In a way I hope Ashmael and you will manage to sort things out, but at the same time, I realize that there will be pain and sorrow if you choose that path. I went through years of emotional and spiritual cleansing and healing. Ashmael never did.”

 

Vaysh took their advice to heart. They wouldn’t force him to choose Phade if he decided to be with Ashmael, which made him trust them even more. “I know those things…but my heart is at war with itself.”

 

“You have time to sort yourself out,” Pellaz reminded him and stroked Vaysh’s red hair. “You don’t need to decide right now. Phade is a patient har and will wait for you to make your choice.”

 

Vaysh rested his head against Pellaz’ shoulder and snuggled up to the Tigrons. He needed time and hoped both Ashmael and Phade understood that.

 

~~~

 

“You were amazing, Rue.” Velaxis snuck up to Rue, who had stretched out on the bed after performing all night. He had loved seeing Caeru in action like that.

 

“I missed being able to sing and perform.” Sweaty all over, Rue knew he should be taking a bath, but he was too tired to get up and head into the bathroom. Hopefully Velaxis didn’t mind having to put up with a smelly har for the night.

 

“I like the way you smell,” Velaxis murmured and then set about disrobing the white-haired har. “There is something intoxicating in that scent and it calls to me.”

 

Amused, Caeru smiled. Velaxis removed the Tigrina's clothes within seconds and Rue’s skin welcomed the fresh air. “Now you are the one wearing too many clothes.”

 

“That is easily solved.” Velaxis couldn’t remember ever undressing more quickly and once they were both naked, he covered Caeru’s body with his. He ran his hands down Caeru’s flanks and claimed the other har’s lips in a bruising kiss. “I want you,” he panted heavily. “I don’t think I ever wanted you as much as I do now.”

 

Caeru laughed. Maybe he should stop bathing then! Raising a hand, he slid it into Velaxis’ platinum-colored hair. “And what way do you want me?”

 

Velaxis cocked his head and considered the question. “I love it when you are ouana, Rue.”

 

Caeru blinked. “You are the first har to think that.”

 

Velaxis laughed. “Then all the other hara have missed out on the adventure of a lifetime.”

 

“You are special,” Rue murmured as his body responded to the aruna-filled images Velaxis was sending him. He had become ouana and the transformation itself stunned him somewhat. For so long he had taken on the soume aspect of their race that being ouana felt somewhat unnatural to him. “The pearl you are hosting is special,” he added and, entranced, he watched how Velaxis lowered himself onto his ouana-lim. Caeru moaned and closed his eyes in pleasure. Velaxis’ soume-lam greedily took him in and he felt like he had come home.

 

“Open your eyes, Rue.” Velaxis wanted to see the expression in them.

 

Caeru complied and looked Velaxis in the eye. “It is the most amazing feeling ever,” he managed. “I am not sure I am much good at being ouana though. I lack experience.”

 

Velaxis rotated his hips and smiled when Caeru released a passionate scream. “You fathered a pearl, Rue. That should tell you how good you are at being ouana.”

 

Resting his hands on Velaxis' narrow hips, Caeru thrust upward. He appreciated the fact that Velaxis was trying to build up his confidence, but Caeru suspected it would take some time before he felt truly comfortable being ouana for Velaxis. “I still can’t believe you are hosting. Just think about it… We will have a harling in two months!”

 

Velaxis affectionately rubbed his cheek against Caeru’s and then kissed him on the lips. “We had better enjoy aruna while we can. Once the harling has hatched…” Velaxis failed to finish that sentence because Caeru had finally started to set a firm rhythm which was quickly leading him toward his climax.

 

Caeru called out Velaxis’ name when he climaxed. They had become one being and he actually shared the ecstasy and pleasure coursing through Velaxis when they reached the point of no return.

 

Panting hard, Velaxis stared at Caeru then attacked those lips again so they could share breath. It took most of his strength and willpower not to collapse onto the other har before he slowly rolled off of Caeru onto his side. “It is a good thing a har can’t conceive when he is already hosting a pearl,” he commented cheekily.

 

Caeru actually blushed and turned onto his side so he could enfold Velaxis in a hug. “Stop it. I am not that talented. I am the Tigrina. I am supposed to host pearls, not father them.”

 

“I don’t like assigned roles,” Velaxis muttered. “You should be able to do what you want.” Snuggling up to Caeru, he smiled when Rue’s hand was once more caressing his abdomen. “You will have to be patient a little longer, Rue.”

 

A thoughtful expression appeared in Caeru’s eyes. “I hope I will be allowed to keep this one. I want to have a son whom I can raise and who will love me.” It still hurt that Abrimel had come to hate him. “Do I deserve another chance, Vel?”

 

Velaxis felt appalled that Caeru found it necessary to ask him that. “Of course you do, Rue!”

 

Rue moved about until he could rest his head on Velaxis’ lap and his fingertips continued to caress the other har’s abdominal area. He *so* hoped that this harling would accept and love him.

 

~~~

 

Cal woke when something in their sleeping arrangement changed and upon opening his eyes found Vaysh gone. “Pell, wake up! Vaysh has left!” He shook Pellaz, who was still fast asleep, and swung his feet to the floor. He didn’t know why he felt alarmed, but he knew it was important that they found Vaysh.

 

Pellaz blinked a few times when he woke up and then sat upright in bed. Cal’s panic affected him and he got to his feet too. “Where do you think he went?”

 

“Let’s hope he didn’t go to Ashmael to talk. I don’t think that would be wise – at least not alone.” Cal put on the robes which he had worn the other night. They were the closest thing to the bed that he could grab.

 

“I will check Ashmael’s rooms. And Phade’s,” Pellaz added in second thought.

 

“I will check Vaysh’s rooms… You never know where he went,” Cal said. Now that they had a plan, the Tigrons left in search of Vaysh.

 

~~~

 

Cal found Vaysh in his private rooms, which surprised him. The Tigron had been fairly sure that Vaysh had sought out either Ashmael or Phade, but instead Vaysh was sitting cross-legged on the bed. There was a drawing in front of him of Ashmael’s face. Cal slid onto the bed next to Vaysh, not attempting to touch the other har yet. Vaysh was still wearing the kohl which Rue had applied to his eyes the other night and it had smeared all over his face from his crying. “What are you doing here?”

 

Vaysh forced himself to acknowledge Cal’s presence, though he would have preferred to isolate himself. “Visiting my past.”

 

“This is about Ashmael.” Cal wondered if he was the right har to have this conversation with Vaysh. Pellaz knew Vaysh much better than he did.

 

Vaysh sighed and his fingertips moved over the lines of the drawing. “Phade knows I still love Ashmael and yet he is willing to take his chances with me.” He tore his gaze away from the drawing and looked at Cal. “In my world, Ashmael is you, Cal. He was there when I died. I died in his arms and he went mad with grief.”

 

“Sounds familiar.” Cal swallowed hard. “Aren’t you being a bit hard on yourself? You don’t need to make a decision now, you know. Phade told you he would wait.”

 

Vaysh shook his head. “I need to make my choice now. Don’t you understand that?”

 

Cal didn’t really, but he still nodded. “You need to talk to Ashmael, Vaysh. You need to find out where the two of you stand.”

 

“I know that, but at the same time I am afraid to do so.” Vaysh bowed his head. “He made it rather clear during the last few years that he wanted nothing more to do with me. I don’t want to beg him to take me back.”

 

“If he won’t take you without begging then he is the wrong har for you.” Cal got to his feet and extended his hand. “You need to talk to him now.”

 

“Now? But it is the middle of the night and…” Vaysh was desperately searching for excuses to postpone the inevitable conversation.

 

“Now, Vaysh. And don’t worry. I will stay while you talk to him. You won’t be alone.”

 

Vaysh placed the drawing aside and got to his feet. “I don’t want to do this.”

 

“I know you don’t, but you need to.”

 

~~~

 

Since Phade’s room was the closest to the Tigrons’ apartment, Pellaz decided to check there first. Phade opened the door looking like he had just woken up, so Pellaz quickly ruled out that Vaysh had visited with Phade.

 

“Pell? What are you doing here at this hour?” Phade rubbed his eyes in an effort to rid himself of the remnants of sleep.

 

Pellaz chuckled and then cleared his throat. “You might want to put on some clothes before you answer the door.” Phade was naked and Pellaz couldn’t help but admire the har’s beauty.

 

Phade grunted something unintelligible and shrugged into a morning robe. “Then don’t knock on my door during the night!” Phade’s mind had cleared by that time and he frowned. “Pell, just why are you knocking on my door in the middle of the night?”

 

Pellaz actually wasn’t certain he should tell Phade the truth, but in the end his conscience won the fight. “Vaysh disappeared.” The shock that appeared on Phade’s face caused Pellaz to feel guilty. “I shouldn’t have told you. Now you will worry.”

 

“Wait here. I am joining you on your search.” Phade made his way back into the room and dressed in black trousers and a grey shirt before joining Pellaz again. “Where do you think he went?” But then he understood. “You thought he had sought me out? That’s flattering…”

 

“I thought it would be either you or Ashmael. Now I am afraid he sought out Ashmael instead.” Pellaz didn’t want to waste any time and headed for the rooms Ashmael occupied whenever the General was staying at the palace.

 

Phade tried to rid himself of the lump of emotions that had manifested in his throat. “I don’t think he is ready to face Ashmael.”

 

Pellaz eyed Phade closely. The way Phade had said that implied the dark-haired har knew of the delicate relationship between Vaysh and Ashmael. “How much did Vaysh tell you?” It surprised him that Vaysh had opened up so quickly to Phade, but then again, maybe he had been right all along and the attraction hadn’t been lost on Vaysh as much he had thought it had been. Maybe Vaysh had accepted the truth.

 

“He showed me by sharing breath with me. I know what he went through.”

 

Pellaz arched an eyebrow. “He must trust you unconditionally.”

 

“That surprised me too. I never gave him much reason to trust me. He was always at the receiving end of my sharp tongue.”

 

Pellaz shrugged. “Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you kept challenging him. You never accepted his cold demeanor. That probably earned you his respect…although Vaysh might never admit that aloud.”

 

Phade was growing increasingly nervous. The previous night he had thought he'd had a chance to win Vaysh’s love, but now he wasn’t so sure anymore.

 

~~~

 

Ashmael had given up on getting any sleep. Too many thoughts, memories, and images raced through his mind and they kept him awake. All of them featured Vaysh in different stages of his life. There was his loving chesnari, the cold and distant aide, and the har he had seen earlier that night who had resembled his chesnari in a way. Ashmael felt at a loss and he needed to sort out his feelings and thoughts.

 

He had heard about Pellaz’ attempt to heal Vaysh and rumors had it that the Tigron had been successful. Upon hearing that, his first reaction had been that he might be able to get his chesnari back, but then he had realized his folly. How could he bridge so many years of ignoring Vaysh? It was foolish to think that they could go back to being chesna. Both of them had taken the easy way out and had ignored each other. Neither Vaysh nor Ashmael had tried to bridge the distance.

 

It was painful, but Ashmael had realized that he no longer had any claim on Vaysh. He had to let the other har go. On a very deep level, he still loved Vaysh and would probably never stop loving him, but the hatred and self-loathing were stronger than that remnant of love. Claiming Vaysh now would be an extremely selfish act and he would be doing Vaysh wrong. Letting Vaysh go was the only right thing to do.

 

The pain that lingered inside his soul would never leave completely, but maybe he would find solace in the fact that Vaysh had another chance at happiness, even if that meant seeing him become chesna with a different har.

 

~~~

 

“I can’t do this,” Vaysh muttered and looked toward Cal for help. “I want to go back to my rooms.” They stood in front of the door to Ashmael’s rooms, but Cal was blocking the escape route to the corridor. The blond Tigron’s face carried a determined gleam and Vaysh was scared that Cal was going to make him do this at any rate. “What if he doesn’t want me?”

 

“You will only find out by talking to him.” Cal moved quickly and knocked on the door as Vaysh remained frozen.

 

Vaysh shot Cal a startled and somewhat angry look, but it was too late to back down now.

 

“Enter.”

 

Vaysh swallowed nervously at the sound of Ashmael’s voice. “Stay close, Cal. Please don’t leave me alone with him.”

 

“I will stay close. I promise.” Cal followed Vaysh into Ashmael’s rooms.

 

Ashmael straightened his back and steeled himself for the upcoming conversation. The moment he had seen Vaysh enter he had realized that this would be their most important conversation ever and he couldn’t make any mistakes. He had to do what was best for Vaysh. “What are you doing here?”

 

Vaysh flinched and his gaze searched for Cal. The blond Tigron stood behind him, so Vaysh drew in a deep breath, collecting the courage necessary to have this talk with Ashmael. “Ash…” Just speaking the name caused his insides to flutter. He wanted nothing more than to throw himself at Ashmael and bury himself in the strong arms, but he didn’t. Ashmael’s posture told him that the har wouldn’t welcome such intimacy.

 

“What do you want?” Ashmael took great care not to speak Vaysh’s name. He didn’t trust himself if he did so. He might cave in and throw himself at Vaysh’s feet.

 

“I want to talk to you. I need to know if…” Vaysh’s hand shook when it reached for Cal’s. He needed the support and Cal gave it to him. The Tigron curled his fingers around his hand and squeezed gently. “Do you want me back?”

 

Ashmael felt shocked. He had wanted Vaysh to say those words for so long! But now that Vaysh *was* saying them, Ashmael knew he had to decline. Being with him would be the wrong thing to do for Vaysh. Ashmael was an emotional mess and would drag Vaysh down with him. He didn’t want to hurt his former chesnari. “No, I don’t.” His voice was emotionless as he replied. “Take a hint. Why do you think I avoided you all those years?”

 

Cal glared at Ashmael for being so cruel, but then frowned. When he probed the General’s emotions, he didn't find disgust or hatred. He was getting something else and it made him stay quiet.

 

None of them noticed Pellaz and Phade entering the room for the two hara remained near the doorway. They didn’t want to disturb the conversation, no matter how mean Ashmael’s answer had been. Phade especially felt angry with the blond har for hurting Vaysh’s feelings.

 

Vaysh felt devastated. He had hoped that Ashmael would want him back but instead he was being rejected in the worst possible way. “I still love you,” he offered in a tiny voice.

 

Ashmael’s expression hardened and he tried his best to radiate cold and hatred, but the careful onlooker would have seen his hands becoming fists behind his back. His self-discipline was the only thing that stopped him from begging Vaysh for forgiveness. “I don’t love you. You are not the Vaysh I loved. Just get out.”

 

Managing to keep his tears back until he had turned around, Vaysh stormed out of the room. Cal wanted to go after him, but Pellaz grabbed his wrist and stopped him. “Let me go!” Cal ordered determinedly.

 

But Pellaz merely shook his head. “It is not you who needs to go after him.”

 

Cal frowned, but then understood. Phade had already left the room in hot pursuit of Vaysh. Cal forced himself to calm down. Vaysh was in the best hands with Phade and he needn’t worry about the red-haired har. That meant he could vent his anger on Ashmael. “You were cruel to him. Why?”

 

Once Vaysh had left, Ashmael crumbled. He collapsed to his knees and slung his arms around his waist, bowing his head. He had really done it. He had chased Vaysh away.

 

Cal, who had been advancing on Ashmael, came to a halt at the unusual display. Desperation, self-loathing, and pain rolled off of Ashmael in violent waves and it almost made Cal feel nauseous.

 

A sad light shone from Pellaz’ eyes. “I understand why you did it,” he said and knelt next to Ashmael. “You did what was right for Vaysh.” He raised Ashmael’s face with a finger beneath the blond har’s chin. “But you told him lies. You love him still.”

 

“Of course I do!” Ashmael spat the words at Pellaz and glared at Cal, who towered over him. “But what we had belongs in the past!”

 

Cal finally caught on and shook his head. “You shouldn’t have done that. You chased him off.”

 

“That was the idea!” Ashmael glared venomously at Cal. “I wanted him to leave!”

 

Pellaz stroked Ashmael’s hair and felt deeply sorry for the other har. “It won’t comfort you to hear this, but you did the right thing. Vaysh needs to be with Phade for the moment. Your love would have devastated him.”

 

Composing himself, Ashmael wiped away his tears and raised his head so he could make eye contact with Pellaz. “At least you understand why I did it.”

 

The Tigron nodded his head. “Ashmael, you did what was right for Vaysh. Now you need to take care of yourself. Vaysh isn’t the only victim here. You need to heal too.”

 

“You won’t fix that by taking aruna with me.” Ashmael pushed himself to his feet again and his old pride mixed with stubbornness appeared on his face.

 

“I know that. Maybe you could leave Immanion for a while,” Pellaz suggested.

 

Cal had been thinking along and realized that Ashmael had been cruel on purpose. He had put Vaysh’s well-being before his own and he respected Ashmael for making such a painful decision. “Pell is right. You need to get away from all this.”

 

Ashmael straightened his shoulders and glared at the Tigrons. “Are you sending me away?”

 

Pellaz shook his head. “Look at it as an overdue vacation.”

 

“Where do you want me to go?” He couldn’t stay at any rate, not now that Phade would become chesna with Vaysh. He didn’t want to witness their happiness.

 

It was Cal who came up with the solution. “Go to Forever.” Snake and Cobweb were skilled healers and he had a feeling that they were better equipped to deal with the emotional turmoil Ashmael was in than Pellaz and he.

 

“Forever?” Ashmael frowned and looked questioningly at Pellaz to see what the dark-haired har thought of Cal’s suggestion.

 

Pellaz actually liked Cal’s idea. “Forever would be a good choice.” Ashmael turned, obviously wanting to leave as quickly as possible, but he couldn’t let Ashmael leave like that without offering him some hope. “Don’t give up on yourself, Ash. Hope is all we have during times like these.”

 

Cal drew in a deep breath and stepped up to Ashmael. “It took me years, but eventually I regained my sanity. You can do the same.”

 

Ashmael gave Cal a gloomy look. “No, I made my choice. Vaysh’s destiny now lies with Phade.” After that, Ashmael turned his back on them and left the room.

 

Cal and Pellaz stayed behind feeling dazed and sad because Ashmael’s life wouldn’t have the happy ending theirs had had.

 

~~~

 

Phade caught up with Vaysh and slowed him down until the red-haired har came to a halt. Vaysh’s face was wet with tears and the gray eyes spoke of anguish. “I am sorry,” Phade whispered and resolutely pulled Vaysh into his arms. Vaysh struggled for a moment, but then gave in and clung to Phade. “I know you still love him and for your sake I'd hoped that he still loved you back.” Phade knew that words offered little comfort in times like this, but words were all he had to offer.

 

“I was so sure he still wanted me,” Vaysh whispered while weeping into Phade’s raven hair. Raising his head, his features contorted. “How much did you hear?”

 

“Enough.” Phade soothingly rubbed Vaysh’s back. “He doesn’t deserve you, Vaysh.”

 

Vaysh sighed deeply and shook his head. “I am sorry you had to witness that.” He bowed his head and let Phade guide him into a room where they would have some privacy. “I know witnessing that scene must have been hard on you.”

 

“Only because he hurt your feelings.” It was beyond Phade how Ashmael could deny Vaysh. He raised Vaysh’s face and searched the swimming eyes. “I don’t want to see you in pain.” Not fully realizing what he was doing, he leaned in closer and brushed Vaysh’s lips with his. The desire – the need – to take away some of Vaysh’s pain made him share breath with the red-haired har.

 

Vaysh was completely unprepared for the intimacy and, since his defenses were down, Phade easily entered his mind. Phade's soothing presence covered his turmoil like a balm and he buried his fingers in Phade’s long mane. Sharing breath was dangerous at that moment because Vaysh needed more than just that. He needed to know that somehar wanted him and was willing to take aruna with Phade in order to feel needed.

 

It took a lot of effort on Phade’s part to break off the contact, but in the end, he managed and relinquished Vaysh’s lips. “No, taking aruna now would be wrong.”

 

Vaysh felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. “You don’t want me?”

 

“I want you, Vaysh, never doubt that. But I don’t want you to do this because you are hurting. Don’t do this because of Ashmael. I want to take aruna with you. What fool wouldn’t? But I want you to take aruna with me because you care for me.” Phade hoped he had said the right thing and that Vaysh would truly understand what he was trying to say.

 

Vaysh drew in a deep breath and sat down next to Phade on the couch. He rested his body against Phade’s and closed his eyes. Pellaz and Cal were right. Phade was the safer choice and, at the moment, Phade was the only har who wanted him. “What if I can’t love you back the way you care about me?”

 

Phade shook his head and embraced Vaysh tightly. “Then we will have tried and if it doesn’t work out we will go our separate ways. We are old enough to understand how these things work.”

 

Vaysh moved closer to Phade. “I am scared.”

 

“So am I,” Phade admitted. “I always wanted to get to know you and now that I have the chance to do so I wonder if we have a future together. Opening up my heart to you is easy, but accepting the possibility that I might end up hurt isn’t.”

 

“I don’t deserve you, Phade.” Vaysh twined their fingers and drew in another deep breath. Phade was right. They didn’t know where this would end, but the fact that Phade wasn’t idolizing their relationship soothed and reassured him. Accepting Phade as his chesnari would have been much more difficult if Phade had been convinced that the path in front of them was free of obstacles. “I will try,” he whispered against Phade’s chest.

 

“That’s all I can ask for,” Phade whispered back and kissed the crown of Vaysh’s head.

 

TBC in Changes


	3. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vaysh and Ashmael struggle with the after match of Vaysh being healed.

Pairings: Velaxis/Caeru, Vaysh/Phade, Pellaz/Cal, Cobweb/Snake.  
Disclaimer: Not mine. No copyright infringement is intended. All characters belong to Storm Constantine.

 

Changes

 

Phade kept a hand at the small of Vaysh’s back as he escorted the other har back into the corridor. They had sat quietly for a while and Vaysh had managed to sort out his thoughts. Phade had then realized that it was time they joined Pellaz and Cal again. They ended up in the Tigrons’ rooms and Vaysh shuffled his feet as he saw the concerned look Cal was giving him. “Thanks for staying close,” he murmured. His words were barely audible.

 

Cal approached and came to a halt in front of Vaysh. “I gave you my word.” He smiled as he saw Phade maintaining physical contact with Vaysh. He had been afraid that Phade might not be inclined to continue their friendship after what had happened in Ashmael’s rooms, but he had obviously underestimated the other har. “You need to find your way, Vaysh and it is a good thing that you have Phade at your side during this trying time.”

 

Vaysh gave Cal a weak smile. “Phade and I talked about what happened earlier.” He simply couldn’t speak Ashmael’s name yet. “We have decided to give this a chance.”

 

Hearing that pleased Pellaz immensely. “Does that mean you are changing rooms again?”

 

Vaysh gulped. Phade and he hadn’t addressed that yet. “I am not sure about that.” The redhead tried to gauge Phade's reaction to the question from the corner of his eye.

 

“He is staying with me.” Phade nodded firmly. Cheekily, he added, “Maybe the Tigrons would like having the bed to themselves for a change?”

 

Cal laughed warmly and then leered at Pellaz. “Maybe.”

 

Pellaz actually felt hot beneath Cal’s smug look. It was time to change the subject. “I expect the two of you to appear for breakfast though.” He wanted to keep an eye on Vaysh.

 

Phade started to turn Vaysh toward the doorway, but the red-haired har shook his head and reached for Pellaz’ arm. “I need to know what happened after I left...Please…”

 

Guiding Vaysh away from Phade, Pellaz took Vaysh into a corner of the room. It might be best if they had some privacy. “Ashmael left, Vaysh.”

 

Vaysh blinked. “He left? What do you mean by that? He left his room or…?”

 

“He has left Immanion for now.” Pellaz knew he had to tread carefully. “Your visit unbalanced him. Oh, Vaysh, I do believe he still cares about you, but he knows that he needs to heal first before he can be your friend again.”

 

Vaysh swallowed hard. Pellaz had said friend and not chesnari. “I don’t know him like that. Ash usually is… He was…” Confused, he tried to find the right words to express himself.

 

“You have started your journey which you will undertake with Phade at your side. I honestly can’t say if the two of you will become chesna or that maybe you will just be friends. Vaysh, I don’t know the future. You are the only one who can shape it. Focus on your recovery and release the har who was trapped beneath the ice for so long. Ashmael still needs to set out on his journey. Maybe the two of you will meet again and maybe you won’t. Put your own needs first, Vaysh, otherwise you can’t possibly heal.”

 

Cal and Phade had listened in on their conversation and both hara agreed with Pellaz’ assessment. “I won’t fail him,” Phade whispered to no one in particular. He just felt the need to speak those words aloud.

 

The blond Tigron rested a hand on Phade’s shoulder and squeezed it. “You have a long road ahead of you, but I believe you can guide Vaysh onto the right path.” Phade smiled at him and Cal squeezed the other har’s shoulder again. “Take good care of him, Phade, because I have the feeling he is not yet able to do so himself.”

 

~~~

 

Vaysh felt indecisive as he looked at Phade’s bed. He really wanted to curl up and close his eyes. The confrontation with Ashmael had exhausted him.

 

“What are you waiting for? Lie down.” Vaysh looked like he could crumble at any given moment. Phade placed his hands on Vaysh’s shoulders and guided him toward the bed. “Sit down,” he ordered and, once Vaysh had complied, he lifted the other har’s feet onto the bed. Vaysh curled up on his side and his gray eyes followed Phade while he fetched something to drink. “Try to sip some. The water should do you good.” He supported Vaysh’s head and carefully observed as the red-haired har sipped his water. “You should try to rest. You had an exhausting evening.” He eyed the chair, which would make a good sleeping place for the night. Vaysh could have the bed to himself.

 

Vaysh however took hold of Phade’s arm when the dark-haired har started to rise. “Please stay.”

 

Phade wasn’t sure that would be a wise thing to do. “You need your privacy.”

 

Vaysh shook his head. “I can’t be alone right now. I promise I won’t instigate any aruna, Phade. Just hold me, please.”

 

Hearing Vaysh beg to be held was too much for Phade and he sat down on the bed. He rested his back against the headboard and waited for Vaysh to make himself comfortable. The red-haired har rested his head on Phade's lap and then turned onto his side, facing away from Phade. Unable to keep his hands to himself, Phade rested one hand on Vaysh’s hip and the other took to stroking the red hair.

 

Vaysh fought to stay awake since he was afraid that Ashmael would haunt his dreams, but in the end, he lost the battle and drifted off into sleep.

 

~~~

 

Ashmael left Immanion in the dead of night. He felt more disturbed than he wanted to admit to himself. Running away to Forever was the only way out at the moment. Cobweb and he had been lovers once and he hoped that was enough reason for the other har to grant him sanctuary.

 

~~~

 

“Hello there,” Caeru murmured and rubbed his cheek against Velaxis’ abdomen. One look at the fair har told Caeru that Velaxis was still asleep so it was safe to continue. “I know it is probably a stupid thing to do, but I can’t help myself. I am so excited that you will come into my life shortly.”

 

Caeru’s voice woke Velaxis from his slumber and at first he felt confused. Who was Rue talking to? But then he realized that the other har was talking to the pearl. Smiling, he remained quiet and listened.

 

“I never thought I would have another son, but Vel made it all possible. I love him, you know.”

 

Velaxis grinned, but managed to do so soundlessly.

 

“And in two months time I am going to be a father. That is a strange thought. You see, I already hosted two pearls so I am a hostling, but being a father might be different. I hope that I won’t disappoint you. I want to love you and I hope you will love me back. You are very precious to me.” Caeru’s fingertips stroked the soft skin of Velaxis’ abdomen. “I will never leave you. You will always have a home with me and so does Vel. I do hope your hostling is going to stay. I am still worried that he might leave unexpectedly. I wouldn’t be able to bear that. I need him in my life.”

 

Velaxis’ eyes swam with tears at hearing the despair in Caeru’s voice which the Tigrina couldn’t hide. Unable to stay quiet any longer, he whispered, “I will never leave you. You are precious to me too, Rue.”

 

Stunned by Velaxis’ unexpected statement, Rue raised his head and looked him in the eye. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

 

“I am glad I did.” Velaxis placed his hands on either side of Caeru’s face and pulled him closer. In the end, Caeru ended up straddling Velaxis’ waist. “Rue, I am not going to desert you. I am here to stay.”

 

“I have trouble believing that,” Caeru admitted and rested his upper body against Velaxis’.

 

“I don’t blame you.” Velaxis brought his arms up along Caeru’s back and held him close. “It might take you some time to understand that I am here to stay, but in the end, you will believe me.”

 

~~~

 

“This is nice. I actually have you to myself,” Cal murmured as he steadied Pellaz who was swaying on top of him. Once Phade and Vaysh had left, it hadn’t taken them long to sneak between the covers and take aruna. Cal, being in the mood to be ouana, had cunningly manipulated his chesnari into becoming soume and had then lowered Pell onto his ouana-lim. Pellaz’ features had contorted with pleasure before the Tigron had started to work them both hard to bring them to the edge.

 

Pellaz wasn’t in the mood for talking, but unfortunately, Cal was. “I love it when you move like that.” He delivered a particularly vicious thrust up and Pellaz had to support himself on Cal’s shoulders. That was the moment Cal had been waiting for. His predatory side had woken up and he was eager to take charge. “Not yet, Pell.”

 

Pellaz, who had been about to climax, released a frustrated cry when Cal suddenly rolled him onto his back. He was about to yell at Cal and ask him what had gotten into him when the expression in his chesnari’s eyes caused him to go silent. The look in Cal’s eyes told him that he was in for quite a ride.

 

“You are mine, Pell. You always were and always will be. I will share you occasionally but only because I know you belong with me.” Cal lifted Pellaz’ legs and rested them on his shoulders. Towering over his chesnari, he delivered one hard thrust after another. Cal was staking his claim and Pellaz knew it.

 

Seeing Cal like this intimidated Pellaz in one way. But in another it made him horny like hell and he met each of Cal’s thrusts with a fierce one of his own. “Only because I choose to belong with you, Cal,” he grunted from between his teeth as he was moved over the mattress until his head made contact with the headboard.

 

Cal slid his arms beneath Pellaz’ shoulders and held him close as he claimed his chesnari. Pellaz’ expression was one of lust and surrender and it excited Cal to see Pellaz at his mercy. A few more thrusts and they had found release.

 

Pellaz raised his arms and caught Cal when the other har collapsed on top of him. “You will be the death of me, Cal,” he said without considering the impact they could have on his chesnari. He was therefore stunned when Cal released an anguished scream. “What?” The look that Cal gave him spoke of the deepest sorrow he had ever seen and suddenly he realized why Cal had taken his words the wrong way. “I am sorry I brought it up. I wasn’t thinking.” He shouldn’t have made that remark for his words had catapulted Cal back into the past. “I am here, Cal. I am alive. Please, stop looking at me like that.” He tried to soothe his distraught Tigron as he became upset himself.

 

Cal needed a moment to compose himself again. Once he had calmed down, he continued to tremble though for a long time. He rested his head on Pellaz’ shoulder and clung to his chesnari. That had been quite the anti-climax to such passionate aruna. “I understand Ashmael, you know.”

 

Pellaz was surprised that Cal was bringing up Ashmael now. “If anyone understands Ashmael it should be you, Cal. The two of you went through the same ordeal.”

 

“But I was fortunate enough to get you back in one piece.” Cal closed his eyes and tried to cope with the memories that had surfaced. “Ashmael must have been suffering terribly during these last few years. Vaysh was close but at the same time so far away.”

 

The dark-haired Tigron idly stroked Cal’s hair. “I have not given up hope yet, Cal. They might still be able to sort themselves out.”

 

“But Phade might get hurt in the process,” Cal remarked.

 

“Phade is very much aware of that. He is going into this with his eyes wide open. He accepts the risk. Cal, the truth is that we don’t know what will happen to Vaysh and Ashmael. Vaysh might find happiness in Phade’s arms and maybe it would be best if Ashmael found a new chesnari as well.”

 

Cal raised his head and eyed Pellaz closely. “Do you really think that?”

 

“Oh, Cal, I know why you want them to end up together. You see us in them.” Pellaz sighed and stroked Cal’s brow, which had become creased with worry. “Thiede kept us apart for years, but we continued to long for each other and at the first chance you got – your first real chance – you came for me. Ashmael never did that where Vaysh was concerned. Their situation *is* different from ours.”

 

Cal rested his head against Pellaz’ shoulder once more. “I know you are right, but I find it hard to accept that there won’t be a happy ending for them.”

 

“Who says there won’t be a happy ending?” Pellaz closed his eyes and inhaled Cal’s scent. “Maybe their happy endings lie with different hara. Maybe Phade will provide Vaysh with his happy ending and maybe somehar will come into Ashmael’s life and help him heal?”

 

“You are a romantic,” Cal whispered as he started to doze off.

 

“I am a drama queen,” Pellaz retorted and Cal laughed. “At least, that’s what Rue calls me at times.”

 

“Well, I am not arguing with Rue.” Cal smiled and closed his eyes again. “This is nice just having you to myself.”

 

“Yes, it is,” Pellaz agreed and kissed Cal’s hair. “Very nice indeed.”

 

~~~

 

Cobweb shivered as he sensed the change in the air. He had been resting in Snake’s arms, but then sat up and stared at the dark sky which flashed with lightning. They had decided to sleep in the garden that night because it had been such a hot day. “Someone is coming.”

 

Snake nodded his head. “I sense it too.”

 

“It is Ashmael,” Cobweb muttered beneath his breath in displeasure. “He couldn’t have chosen a worse time.”

 

Snake rose from the grass and pulled Cobweb to his feet. “Do you know the reason why Ashmael is coming here now?”

 

Cobweb shook his head. “I have no idea.” They had been lovers in the past, but he had long closed that book. “Why now?” The lightning died and a sedu came to a halt at a distance from them. On its back was Ashmael. His blond hair danced around his face and cascaded down his back, surrounding his strong features which were distorted with sorrow. Cobweb didn’t want to reach out, but the anguished expression in Ashmael’s eyes made him gravitate toward the Gelaming. “We can’t turn him away.”

 

“We won’t.” Snake took Cobweb’s hand in his and they walked toward Ashmael together. “Don’t worry. We will find a way to divide our time once Silver has arrived.”

 

Cobweb wished Ashmael had chosen a different time to visit them. They had only found out about Silver a week ago. Paran had visited Forever with distressing news that they had managed to track down one of the pearls Terzian had fathered at Lisia’s breeding facility. The young har was currently on his way to Forever and, from what had they had heard, they had better expect to deal with a rather disturbed har. “You are right,” Cobweb agreed eventually. “We will worry about Silver when he gets here.”

 

Ashmael dismounted and walked toward Cobweb and Snake. Normally he would never drop by unannounced, but he had needed to get away from Immanion. Hopefully Cobweb would understand and offer him a listening ear.

 

Cobweb sensed the emotional turmoil Ashmael was in and was surprised that the other har wasn’t hiding his feelings. Ashmael’s mind was wide open and what the mystic har read in the other har’s memories made his head reel. One look at Snake revealed that his chesnari had caught the same images. Cobweb, having a better understanding as to why Vaysh visiting Ashmael’s rooms had upset the blond, realized he had to deal with the distressed har himself. This was something between Ashmael and him. Snake had no part in it.

 

“I understand,” Snake whispered. “I will step back when necessary.”

 

Ashmael had reached them by that time and stood in front of them with a bowed head. He trembled and felt physically ill. “I am going to throw up,” he announced and looked at Cobweb pleadingly. He wasn’t physically sick, but the state of mind he was in was too much for his body to handle.

 

“Snake, please prepare a room for Ashmael,” Cobweb instructed before curling an arm around Ashmael’s waist to steady him as the blond har began to throw up. Cobweb brushed the blond hair behind Ashmael’s ears and made sure the other har didn’t throw up on himself. “You are quite the mess, Ash.”

 

A series of dry heaves ended the queasiness that had spread through his stomach and Ashmael gazed desperately at Cobweb. “Please tell me I can stay.”

 

Cobweb nodded and helped Ashmael down the path toward the house. “Of course you can.” He had wanted to add that Ashmael’s timing was lousy but held back. Ashmael was already feeling bad as it was. “Vaysh’s visit really upset you,” he conjectured, trying to get Ashmael to talk to him. Snake had left the front door open and he helped Ashmael climb the stairs to the guest rooms.

 

“What did you expect? Pell fucking healed him!” After all these long years, Pellaz had managed to heal Vaysh! “But it is too late!”

 

“We will talk after you have rested,” Cobweb decreed as he guided Ashmael into his temporary room. Snake had already placed a bowl filled with water and a washcloth close to the bed. Cobweb smiled at his chesnari’s thoughtfulness. “Lie down, Ash.”

 

“I am sorry I am causing problems,” Ashmael declared dramatically. “But I didn’t know where else to go and I don’t want to be alone right now. I don’t trust myself.” Cobweb had immersed the washcloth in the water and began cleaning up his in sweat-covered face. “I was afraid of what I was going to do to myself.”

 

Cobweb looked at Ashmael sharply. “Don’t you dare think such thoughts. You are not harming yourself, you hear me?” Ashmael smiled weakly and Cobweb knew that that had been what Ashmael had needed to hear. “You are staying under my roof and I won’t have any of that.”

 

Ashmael stretched out on the bed before closing his eyes and focusing on Cobweb moving the washcloth along his brow. It felt good. Since his eyes were closed, he didn’t notice Snake coming into the room. Ashmael was adrift on clouds of self-pity and self-hatred.

 

“I brought tea and some water.” Snake had seen Ashmael retch and figured the har would like to rinse his mouth to rid himself of the awful taste. “Water first and tea later.”

 

Cobweb loosened the top buttons of Ashmael’s shirt and then sat down on the bed. “Open your eyes, Ash. You need to rinse your mouth.”

 

“Let me sleep,” Ashmael whispered tiredly.

 

“Not yet.” Cobweb could be stubborn when the situation called for it. Carefully, he pulled Ashmael toward him until the blond har rested against him. “Now rinse.” Cobweb placed the glass at Ashmael’s lips and Snake held the bowel in place so Ashmael could spit the water back out again.

 

Although he felt tired to the bone, Ashmael complied. Cobweb ordered a second time so he was forced to repeat the procedure. “Enough, please…”

 

“Drink some tea.” Snake had waited for the tea to cool and handed the cup to Cobweb. The herbs which he had used to brew it would have a soothing effect on Ashmael’s stomach.

 

Ashmael managed to force down a few sips, but then raised his hand and pushed the cup away. “No more.”

 

Cobweb handed the cup back to Snake and pulled up the blanket to tuck around Ashmael’s form. Someone should stay with Ashmael, but he wasn’t quite sure how Snake would react to such a suggestion. After all, Snake knew Ashmael and Cobweb had been together for a while.

 

“We can’t leave him alone at the moment,” Snake suggested and studied Cobweb’s face. “You can take first watch. I will relieve you in three hours.” He cupped Cobweb’s cheek in the palm of his hand and leaned in closer until their faces were only inches away. “Ashmael needs our support and perhaps healing. I won’t turn him away because you and he were lovers at a time.”

 

“I didn’t want to bring it up,” Cobweb murmured apologetically.

 

“You brought it up here,” Snake replied and pointed at his temple. “Don’t worry. I have never turned a har away who was in need of healing and I am not starting now. I trust you, Cobweb.”

 

Cobweb swallowed hard and pressed his lips onto Snake’s so they could share breath. “Thank you,” he said once they had pulled apart. “This won’t be easy. We will have two hara to care for shortly.”

 

“I have the feeling Ashmael will be the lesser of our worries,” Snake responded in a deep voice. Silver would present them with a bigger challenge.

 

~~~

 

Vaysh was alone in bed when he woke the next morning. The other night had been tumultuous and he still felt badly equipped to deal with Ashmael’s rejection. He had been so sure that his former chesnari still had feelings for him!

 

“Ah, you are awake. Good.” Phade, already dressed for the day, approached the bed and placed a tray onto Vaysh’s lap. “I thought you might prefer to have breakfast in private.”

 

“That’s very thoughtful of you.” Vaysh wasn’t very hungry however.

 

“You should eat something.” Phade worried about Vaysh and felt he could do with a few extra pounds. “Try the jam.” He buttered a piece of bread, added the strawberry jam to it, and raised it to Vaysh’s lips. “Bite,” he ordered, expecting to be obeyed. Vaysh automatically obeyed, not fully aware yet of what he was doing, but the strong texture of the jam woke him up quickly enough. “And now, have some coffee.”

 

Vaysh sipped some of the liquid, though he had never been fond of coffee. He was drinking it because Phade had gone to such great lengths to bring him breakfast. “You didn’t have to do this,” he said timidly.

 

“Nonsense. I want to spoil you.” Phade sat down next to Vaysh and buttered another slice. This time, he was the one to devour it. “Try the cheese.”

 

Vaysh pushed a small piece into his mouth and smiled weakly at Phade. “I probably owe you an apology.”

 

“And why is that?” Phade asked while nursing his coffee.

 

“Because of the way I acted last night. I was rather hysterical.”

 

“You had every right to be.” Phade cut an apple into slices and offered some of it to Vaysh, who chewed dutifully. Phade had expected Vaysh to put up more of a struggle at being fed in such a manner. “Why don’t you take a quick shower and then get dressed? I made plans for the day.” Phade’s main goal for the day was to keep Vaysh from brooding and thinking of Ashmael with distractions.

 

Vaysh felt at a loss and said, “I don’t have any clothes here.”

 

“Mine should fit you.” Phade ran his fingertips along the inside of Vaysh’s wrist and noticed that the caress made the red-haired har tremble.

 

Vaysh quickly pulled away, put the tray onto the mattress, and practically fled into the bathroom. He heard Phade chuckling at his retreat and rested his back against the tiled wall once he was inside the bathroom. His body had started to respond to that caress! Why was aruna all he could think of?

 

TBC

 

Part 2

 

Caeru joined Pellaz and Cal in the apartments they shared. It was time to head for the Hegalion to attend another boring meeting. He had dressed with care and had even fixed his hair, which Velaxis had gotten tangled because he had kept running his fingers through the strands.

 

“Where’s Vel?” Cal inquired as he fell into step next to the Tigrina. Pellaz walked before them, seeming to be mesmerized and hardly noticed them.

 

“He was still sleeping when I left,” Caeru answered and blushed.

 

“Are you wearing him out, Rue?” Cal grinned wickedly.

 

“That’s none of your business,” Caeru replied cheekily. “You have your own har to wear down. So far, you seem to be doing a lousy job.”

 

Delighted that Rue was returning the bantering, Cal eyed Pellaz’ backside appreciatively. “I only just got started, Rue. You have a head start on me.”

 

Caeru turned serious and asked Cal, “What’s on Pell’s mind that he is so distracted?”

 

“Last night Vaysh confronted Ashmael. It didn’t go well. Ashmael has left Immanion and Vaysh… Vaysh was upset, as you can imagine.”

 

Caeru nodded his head once. “So it finally happened?” He had expected them to confront each other earlier. “Where did Ashmael go?”

 

“Forever. I hope that Cobweb and Snake will have a calming influence on him. Maybe they can help him heal.”

 

“I hope so too,” Caeru muttered under his breath. “And what about Vaysh?”

 

“Phade is taking care of him. Personally I think that he is the best thing that could have happened to Vaysh. He needs someone like Phade.”

 

Caeru barely knew Phade, but he did know that the har had raised Darq. His son had turned out well so maybe Cal was right and Phade would make a good companion for Vaysh.

 

“You will see them this evening. Pellaz has arranged for the six of us to have dinner together.”

 

Caeru frowned. “The six of us?”

 

“Velaxis is also invited of course. We don’t want him to feel left out.” That earned Cal a brilliant smile from Rue and he returned it happily. Everything had worked out for Rue and Velaxis. He could only hope things would turn out that well for Phade and Vaysh as well – and Ashmael… Cal hoped Ashmael would find some sort of closure in Forever.

 

~~~

 

Phade loved seeing Vaysh laugh. Vaysh’s guard was down and he was truly enjoying himself, which had been Phade’s intention all along. First, they had taken a stroll in the garden, since Phade felt it important that Vaysh got more fresh air and then they had gone out on two horses. Galloping alongside each other, Phade couldn’t stop staring at Vaysh and the way the red hair moved in the breeze. /He is going to be tired tonight, but it will be a good kind of tired./ Vaysh probably hadn’t done anything physically straining for a long time.

 

Vaysh was enjoying himself. He had forgotten what it was like to feel so carefree. One look to his right showed that Phade was enjoying himself as well. He would have preferred to keep moving, but their horses grew tired and they needed a short rest. Vaysh had his horse come to a stop and slid off of his back. Walking next to the animal, he marveled at the peace of mind he felt. The earlier night, he had felt like an emotional wreck.

 

A moment later, Phade joined him and walked next to him. Phade reached for his hand and Vaysh twined their fingers. “This feels like a dream,” he admitted. “I can’t believe that my life has changed so dramatically.”

 

Phade raised his hand holding Vaysh’s and brought it to his lips so he could press a kiss onto Vaysh’s knuckles. “I always knew there was something special about you. That’s why I had to pester you. I wanted the real you to pop out.”

 

The redhead blushed bashfully. The back of his hand tingled where Phade’s lips had made contact with the skin. “I was too damaged to do that. The only thing I could do was hide. During all these years, it never occurred to me that I could be healed. When Pellaz and Velaxis suggested it, I laughed at them.”

 

“I am glad they cured you.” Phade came to a stop and slid his arms up Vaysh’s back until he was holding him. “I want to share breath with you, but I don’t want to pressure you. So please say no when…”

 

Vaysh didn’t give Phade a chance to finish. He pressed his lips onto Phade’s and shared breath with the other har. It was different from sharing breath the other night. The previous night, they had shared breath because Vaysh had wanted Phade to know his life’s history. This time, they were sharing breath for different reasons. Vaysh was astonished to realize that his toes were curling inside his boots.

 

Phade grinned when he let go of Vaysh’s lips with a soft plopping sound. “That was extremely satisfying.” The dazed expression in Vaysh’s eyes showed that his partner had equally enjoyed sharing breath. “Maybe we should do that again to find out if it was only a one time thing?”

 

“Sounds like a good plan,” Vaysh heard himself say. A distant part of him wondered what the hell he was doing, but the more physical part was already hoping that sharing breath would lead to aruna. “We should try again.”

 

Phade didn’t waste any time and shared breath with Vaysh again. Embracing Vaysh tightly, he involuntarily crushed the other har to his chest and Vaysh’s feet no longer rested on the ground when Phade lifted him to cover the small height difference. Vaysh however wasn’t complaining.

 

~~~

 

That evening, things were rather crowded in the Tigrons’ apartments. Caeru had already arrived and was accompanied by Velaxis, while Phade and Vaysh still had to show up. Caeru enjoyed watching Velaxis taste some of the food and then kissed him to get a taste of it himself. Pellaz chuckled at their antics while Cal offered them another strawberry. Rue felt carefree and relaxed and Velaxis was beginning to feel more comfortable too.

 

Pellaz, Cal, Rue, and Velaxis were already seated when Vaysh and Phade arrived. Caeru smiled at the flushed looking Vaysh, who was obviously wearing some of Phade’s clothes. “I must admit, black does become you,” he purred as Vaysh seated himself in-between Velaxis and Phade.

 

Vaysh didn’t really know how to handle the Tigrina’s compliment since he wasn’t used to receiving any. “I had forgotten to take any of my clothes with me. I will pick some up when we leave.” It was convenient that his rooms and the Tigrons’ were adjoining.

 

“Don’t do that on my account,” Phade murmured. “I agree with the Tigrina. Black suits you.” He placed his hand on top of Vaysh’s and rubbed the fingers lightly.

 

With an amused smile on his face Velaxis watched their exchange. Phade and Vaysh were suited for each other, but he could tell that they were hesitant to take aruna, though the reason why eluded him. “Vaysh?” he said in an attempt to draw the other har’s attention. “You *do* realize what you need the most right now is to take aruna quite frequently?”

 

Vaysh almost spit out the sheh he had been about to drink, much to the amusement of the other hara present. Vaysh felt embarrassed and wished he was anywhere else but in the Tigrons’ rooms.

 

Velaxis pretended to not notice Vaysh’s reaction and simply continued. “The more often you take aruna, the quicker your body and mind will adjust to your new situation. I presume Phade is willing to take aruna with you?”

 

Caeru knew Velaxis well enough to realize that the other har enjoyed playing with Vaysh, and for a moment, he felt sorry for the red-haired har. It was obvious that Vaysh had a hard time dealing with Velaxis’ suggestion.

 

“More than willing,” Phade replied and gave Vaysh an adoring look. “Maybe we can take aruna tonight?”

 

About to protest, Vaysh wanted to say that they would be moving awfully quick if they did that, but then Velaxis interfered, “That sounds like an excellent idea.” Vaysh glared at Velaxis, but realized that there was nothing he could do about the other har’s cheeky comments. He just had to suffer through dinner.

 

~~~

 

Vaysh had collected some personal belongings from his rooms and felt awkward as he put them away in Phade’s closet. Their clothes were mixing, just like their lives were and that realization made him feel lost.

 

Phade made his way over to the red-haired har and wrapped his arms around Vaysh from behind having picked up on Vaysh’s feelings. Vaysh started at first, but then relaxed in his arms. “It is only me,” Phade remarked and pressed his lips against the skin at the junction of Vaysh’s neck and shoulder. “I didn’t scare you, did I?”

 

“No, you didn’t.” Vaysh bowed his head and drew in a deep breath. “I scared myself.”

 

“Why is that?” Vaysh turned in his embrace and Phade studied the other har’s face.

 

“Because Velaxis is right. I need aruna.” He averted his gaze and stared at the floor. “I don’t know how to deal with that fact.”

 

Phade frowned. “Deal with it? Vaysh, we take aruna. It’s that simple.”

 

“Not for me.” Vaysh found the courage to raise his head and make eye contact. “I shared my past with you. You know how screwed up I am when it comes to aruna.”

 

Tracing Vaysh’s bottom lip with his thumb, Phade shook his head. “I also saw you taking aruna with Pellaz and Cal after Velaxis had healed you. You seemed to do just fine.”

 

“That was different.” Vaysh trembled when the tip of Phade’s thumb caressed his lip. “They overwhelmed me. I knew it was going to happen, but I didn’t need to take responsibility for it. Taking aruna with you would be different.”

 

“And why is that?” Phade was doing his best to understand Vaysh.

 

“I would be taking aruna with you because I wanted to, not because you overwhelmed me.” And Vaysh wasn’t sure he was ready to take an active role yet. “These last few years I experienced pain whenever I thought of taking aruna.”

 

Phade realized it was up to him to make Vaysh see the truth. “I will never hurt you,” he declared passionately and leaned in closer to brush Vaysh’s lips with his. Slowly, he moved his hands until they rested at the small of Vaysh’s back and once more lifted the lithe har until he could press the other har against him tightly. At the same time, he concentrated on radiating trust and calm and shared it with Vaysh when they shared breath.

 

Tears swam in Vaysh’s gray eyes as those feelings entered his mind. Phade was telling him the truth. The other har would rather hurt himself than to cause him pain. “What am I to do with you?” he whispered once Phade had stopped.

 

“You could touch me,” Phade murmured and then carried Vaysh over to the bed. “I crave your touch, Vaysh.” He lay down on his back and pulled Vaysh on top of him.

 

Vaysh suddenly found himself in a very intimate and vulnerable position as he straddled Phade’s lower body.

 

“You set the pace,” Phade added and smiled warmly. “Do as you please. I am at your service.”

 

Swallowing hard, Vaysh raised his hands and then stared at them for a few minutes. Phade wanted him to take the initiative!

 

“Need my help?” Phade offered when Vaysh continued to stare at his hands.

 

A warm smile spread across Vaysh’s features and he shook his head. “I think I want to try this.”

 

Phade smiled approvingly and waited for Vaysh to make his next move. It was difficult for him to remain motionless when Vaysh started to unbutton his shirt for he burned with desire for the other har. But this was about Vaysh and Phade focused on that fact.

 

Vaysh’s mouth went dry once he pushed the fabric of Phade’s shirt aside. He had bared the other har’s chest and his fingers explored the chest area. They moved lower and then up again until they had mapped Phade’s sensitive spots that made the dark-haired har close his eyes or moan in delight. Vaysh was relieved that Phade was allowing him to go slowly because he wouldn’t have reacted very well if Phade had gone straight to aruna with him.

 

“Maybe you want to give me some skin to touch too?” Phade suggested and moistened his lips.

 

Vaysh considered the question and then pushed the fabric of his robes down his shoulders, revealing his torso. Big-eyed, he watched Phade raise a hand and place its palm against his chest.

 

The red-haired har looked like a trapped deer so Phade took his time caressing the soft skin beneath his fingers and never attempted to move his hand lower. Vaysh would give him a sign once the time was right to proceed. “Share breath with me,” he requested hoarsely and his fingertips trailed up Vaysh’s spine.

 

Tremors washed over Vaysh’s body as he bent to share breath with Phade. The small puffs of desire that Phade released traveled into his mind and Vaysh moaned. Phade was doing everything right in allowing him to set the pace and at the same time showing him he was wanted – which was just what Vaysh needed. Shaky hands traveled toward the waistband of the trousers Phade was wearing and he slid them beneath the fabric. Phade raised his hips and Vaysh slid the material down until Phade was able to kick the fabric off. Naked, Phade was at Vaysh’s mercy and the red-haired har trailed his fingertips down the flat abdomen.

 

Being aroused, it was impossible for Phade not to react to Vaysh’s touches and he became ouana, although he wouldn’t mind becoming soume either if that was what Vaysh desired. “Do you like what you see?” he asked, breaking the silence that had been building between them.

 

“You are beautiful,” Vaysh admitted huskily. “I don’t get it, Phade. You can have anyhar you want so why do you want me? Compared to you I am not pretty. I know the way I look.” Vaysh placed his palms against Phade’s chest and searched the dark eyes for an answer.

 

Displeased, Phade shook his head. “Vaysh, you *are* beautiful. I am the plain-looking one compared to you.” It was beyond him how Vaysh could think so little of himself. Acting on instinct, Phade placed his hands on either side of Vaysh’s head and pulled him closer so they could share breath again and sent Vaysh’s his thoughts, trying to show him just how beautiful and attractive the redhead was to him.

 

Touched, Vaysh rested his upper body against Phade’s and licked along the collarbone. He grew bolder once he knew that Phade desired him. Phade groaned from deep within his throat and Vaysh became keenly aware of Phade’s ouana-lim opening and displaying its green and blue petals. Phade was ready to take aruna, but was he?

“Vaysh, you don’t have to do this…” Phade buried his fingers in the red hair. Absentmindedly he noted that the dye was fading and that the blond color was showing in the roots. He would love to see Vaysh’s hair displaying its natural color.

 

“You are wrong,” Vaysh replied and reached for the belt that held his robes in place. “I *do* have to do this. My body won’t allow me to back out.” He needed aruna so badly that he had become soume already beneath his robes.

 

“Allow me,” Phade said as he saw how badly Vaysh’s fingers trembled when the other har tried to undo the knot. Vaysh nodded and Phade undid the knot and parted Vaysh’s robes. “You take my breath away,” he whispered and ran his fingertips along Vaysh’s flat abdomen. “I want you…”

 

Vaysh reached for Phade’s hands and twined their fingers. He needed to feel connected to the other har. “I never thought I would be able to enjoy aruna again,” he admitted and shifted on top of Phade. “I can’t believe I am about to do this…”

 

Phade’s breath caught. He watched Vaysh raise and then lower himself onto his ouana-lim. Closing his eyes in bliss, he trembled on the bed and stopped himself from thrusting up to bury himself in Vaysh’s soume-lam. Vaysh’s long hair descended down his body like a waterfall of red streaks and the ends teased Phade’s body, making it even harder on him to endure the sweet torture. Opening his eyes, he looked into Vaysh’s big ones. “I dreamt about this for so long…”

 

Vaysh nodded and his hair caressed Phade’s skin. “I didn’t realize that until recently.” He had always thought that nohar could possibly find him attractive. He moved slowly on top of Phade, rotating his hips at leisure as he rode the other har. It might not be the passionate aruna Phade might have hoped for, but it was a big enough step for Vaysh to take.

 

Too quickly, Phade felt his climax approaching. The fact that he was taking aruna with Vaysh was a dream come true and he found his control slipping. But before he climaxed he wanted to work some magic on Vaysh. He freed his hands from Vaysh’s hold and buried his fingers in the red hair. Pulling Vaysh down, he shared breath with the redhead and stroked the red hair.

 

Vaysh felt adrift on Phade’s desire and he sucked it all in – the love, the need, and the passion. For so long he had thought that he would never taste those feelings again and now he could experience them whenever he wanted. Phade’s fingers massaged his scalp and Vaysh lost himself in the sharing of breath.

 

Phade’s eyes twinkled wickedly when he realized he had worked his magic on Vaysh. Lovingly, he fingered a strand of the hair and let go.

 

Vaysh had no choice but to let go too and clung to Phade during their high. Satiation, pleasure, love, and passion swept through him and he let himself drift on Phade’s red sea of lust for as long as it lasted. Closing his eyes, he rested his head in the crook of Phade’s shoulder and released the breath he had been holding. “I had forgotten that aruna could be like that.”

 

Phade contented himself with stroking down the curve of Vaysh’s back, trying hard not to chuckle. He ended up massaging one of Vaysh’s buttocks and rubbed his lower body against the other har. “I am looking forward to taking aruna again later tonight,” Phade hinted wickedly. “Remember, Velaxis advised you to take aruna as many times as possible.”

 

“And you just love that advice.” Vaysh opened his eyes, knowing there would be a smug expression on Phade’s face when he looked at him. But before he could focus on Phade’s expression, he was distracted by something odd. Why was there a blond strand of hair in front of his eyes? Lifting a hand, he tried to find out why.

 

“I hope you don’t mind me working some of my magic on you.”

 

Raising his upper body, Vaysh stared at his blond hair in shock. “What did you do?”

 

“I wanted to see your natural color,” Phade admitted sheepishly. “Want me to change it back?”

 

Vaysh blinked and then rolled off of Phade. He got to his feet and made his way over to the mirror in the corner of the room. Staring at his reflection, he wondered what to make of this development. His original hair color was back and it shone warm and golden. “This is odd.”

 

Phade left the bed as well and came to a halt behind Vaysh. Finger combing the strands, he whispered, “I love you as a redhead and as a blond… You can dye your hair again, if you want to. I just wanted to know what your hair looked like naturally.”

 

Leaning back, Vaysh smiled as Phade’s arms came up around his waist to hold him. “It has been so many years since I wore my hair this way. I started dying it after…” After Thiede had gotten his hands on him. “Maybe I will leave it this way.” Perhaps it was fitting that he was a blond again since he had been healed.

 

~~~

 

Velaxis sat upright in bed with a start. He immediately checked on Caeru but the Tigrina was still in bed with him. Rue’s eyes opened and gave him a puzzled look. “The earth is shaking!”

 

“No,” Rue mumbled and pressed deeper into the mattress. “That’s just Pell and Cal taking aruna.”

 

Velaxis blinked. “You are wrong! It is an earthquake!” The bed was moving and so were the walls!

 

Rue refused to be roused. “Go back to sleep, Vel. Nothing bad will happen.” He pulled Velaxis close and snuggled up to him. But Velaxis stayed awake and wondered how Pellaz and Cal were probably responsible for this quake taking place.

 

~~~

 

“Oh, Pell!” Cal thrust one last time and threw back his head. He howled victoriously before falling forward and burying his teeth in Pellaz’ shoulder. The raven hair was spread over the delicately curved back and Cal squeezed his chesnari’s buttocks. All Pellaz could do was moan into the pillow and carry the blond Tigron’s weight as Cal unexpectedly collapsed on top of him.

 

Pellaz’ hands had become claws and had ripped the sheet apart beneath him. His body heaved with his heavy breathing as he struggled to hold Cal’s weight as well. Ever since Cal had taken aruna with Vaysh, his chesnari had wanted to take aruna over and over again and be ouana as well even though Cal mostly favored his soume aspect.

 

“You made the foundations of my world shake,” Cal murmured as he rolled onto his side so he was no longer pressing Pellaz into the mattress and pillow. Reaching for the nightstand, he lit a cigarette and managed to blow rings of smoke into the air. “Wow.”

 

Pellaz felt too exhausted to move, but he did manage to turn his head so he could look at Cal. “You look smug.”

 

“I feel great,” Cal admitted and placed a possessive hand on Pellaz’ left buttock. “Each time you are soume I am afraid I will drown within your waters.”

 

Purring, Pellaz closed his eyes. He hoped they weren’t going to receive any scientific reports trying to explain the latest earthquake that had shaken Immanion in the morning.

 

TBC

 

Part 3

 

Ashmael felt disoriented when he woke up the next morning. He tried to open his eyes but then squeezed them shut again. The light coming in through the windows hurt them. He felt like he had been out drinking and partying all night, but he hadn’t had a single glass of sheh the other night. He felt miserable for a different reason.

 

“It’s about time you woke up.” Cobweb pulled up a chair and observed Ashmael as he struggled to push himself into an upright position. “You can lie down, Ash. You don’t need to get up on my account.”

 

Ashmael sighed and let himself fall back onto the bed again. Closing his eyes, he drew in a series of deep breaths. “I feel like hell.”

 

“You were sick last night. You threw up, remember?”

 

“Please don’t remind me.” Ashmael turned onto his side and curled up in a fetal position. “I am sorry that I am troubling you with my problems, Cobweb, but I had no other place to go.”

 

“So Pellaz healed Vaysh and your former chesnari confronted you?” Cobweb saw no reason to go easy on Ashmael. As far as he was concerned, Ashmael had made his share of mistakes and ought to own up to them.

 

“If you put it like that then yes.” Ashmael opened his eyes again when he smelled a familiar fragrance. “You brought coffee.”

 

“It used to pick you up in the past.” Cobweb assisted Ashmael to sit upright and placed a few pillows against the headboard so Ashmael could recline against them. He placed the mug into Ashmael’s hands, which trembled lightly. “Why didn’t you tell Vaysh the truth, Ash?”

 

“I couldn’t do that,” he said in-between sips. “I am bad company for Vaysh at the moment. I would only drag him down with me. There is still a lot of anger inside me. I hid it because I didn’t feel safe letting it out, but last night, the dam broke and now I feel empty inside.” Ashmael sipped again and then sighed. Lifting his gaze, he searched Cobweb’s eyes. “Can I stay? I don’t want to be a burden, but I need to get away from Immanion.”

 

“You need to find yourself again.” Cobweb wished that Ashmael’s timing had been better though. “You can stay, but I won’t be able to give you my full attention. We are expecting another guest shortly.”

 

Ashmael welcomed the change in subject. “Anyone I know?”

 

Cobweb got to his feet and retrieved the breakfast tray he had brought with him before placing it onto the bed so Ashmael could feed himself. “No, you don’t know this har.”

 

“Tell me, Cobweb. Who is he and why is he coming to Forever?” Ashmael selected some bread, put cheese onto it, and slowly ate it. He hoped his stomach was ready to deal with the food.

 

Cobweb reluctantly gave in. “Remember discovering Lisia and the harlings at the Varrish breeding facility?” After Ashmael had nodded, Cobweb continued. “I thought you might.”

 

“I vividly remember entering that place. I was glad when I could leave it again.” That facility had been drenched in blood and pain and he still didn’t understand how Lisia could have chosen to stay there.

 

Pouring more coffee, Cobweb sipped the black liquid himself this time. He didn’t particularly like coffee, but he felt he needed it. “Then you might also remember that the harlings bore tattoos. Their numbers were filed and Paran has been busy linking the pearls to their hostlings and fathers.” Cobweb drew in a deep breath. “Terzian visited the breeding facility too.”

 

Ashmael placed his mug onto the tray and helped himself to another slice of bread since his stomach wasn’t protesting. “Did he also create pearls there?” After all, the main goal of the facility had been to produce pearls.

 

“He did. Six of them. So far, Paran has traced down five of them. Four of them died during the battle in which Ponclast was defeated, one remains elusive, and one pearl has been tracked down. This har is still alive.” Cobweb vividly remembered how shocked he had felt when Paran had sent him that message. “They found that har in a musenda in Fulminir. I didn’t know that Pellaz’ forces were still cleaning out that place.”

 

Ashmael knew however. He always received the most recent reports. “Ponclast had built an empire there. You can’t just dismantle that in a few years.” His face contorted then. “You said he had been found in a musenda?” That was the equivalent to an old-fashioned human whorehouse.

 

Cobweb forced himself to nod. “Paran told me that he wasn’t staying there voluntarily.” He didn’t know all the details yet. “I am expecting Paran to arrive one of these days. He promised to bring Silver to Forever.”

 

Ashmael eyed Cobweb closely. “Why are you doing this? Why are you taking this har in? You don’t owe him or Terzian a thing.”

 

Cobweb’s expression became determined. “I know that I don’t owe Terzian a thing, Ash, but I want to help this har. It isn’t his fault that his father was a sorry excuse for a har.”

 

Ashmael was surprised to hear Cobweb say that. For a long time, Cobweb had convinced himself that Terzian had *loved* him. Maybe Cobweb had finally accepted the truth. “You will have your hands full when this har arrives. Maybe it would be best if I left.”

 

“No, you are staying.” Cobweb finished his coffee and looked stubbornly at Ashmael. “Snake and I will manage.”

 

“If there is anything I can do to help, just let me know. I am not an invalid.” Ashmael refused to be a burden to Cobweb and Snake.

 

Cobweb sighed and gestured for Ashmael to finish his slice of bread. “You will bounce back, Ash. You are strong. I am not that worried about you.” He smiled warmly at the blond har and Ashmael smiled back, obviously pleased with the fact that Cobweb had such faith in him. “But I worry about Silver. Paran has warned me that he is a mess. Silver was forced to work in that musenda even before he entered his feybraiha. I shudder at the thought of what his first time with a har must have been like.”

 

Ashmael had finished his coffee and lost his appetite after Cobweb’s last statement. He couldn’t imagine what Silver’s life must have been like either. “I am glad you are taking him in. A har who lived through that deserves a second chance.”

 

Cobweb nodded. Those had been his thoughts exactly.

 

~~~

 

Vaysh snuck out onto the balcony the next morning. He had wrapped himself up in a warm blanket and sat down on the bench which stood in the corner. The rays of the sun were already reaching that spot and Vaysh watched how they traveled up his legs. After taking aruna with Phade the other night, he felt at peace. They had only taken aruna once because he had fallen asleep after it, much to Phade’s amusement, but the dark-haired har had let him sleep.

 

Snuggled up in his blanket, his thoughts began to drift and he wondered what Ashmael was doing at that moment. The fact that Ashmael had left Immanion so unexpectedly worried him. Ashmael and he would always be connected no matter what happened.

 

“Will you stop brooding so early in the morning?” Phade had woken up alone in bed and hadn’t bothered to dress before stepping out onto the balcony. For one terrible moment he had been afraid that Vaysh had bolted, but then he had sensed Vaysh’s presence on the balcony. “Ashmael is a grown har. He will find a way to cope with the changed situation.” He sat down on the bench next to Vaysh.

 

“I can’t help worry about him,” Vaysh admitted. “We were chesna once.” Phade inched closer to Vaysh and opened his arms so the other har could move into them. “The blond hair suits you much better than the red ever did.” He twirled a lock of Vaysh’s hair around a finger. “Maybe we should take aruna again to stop you from brooding.”

 

Vaysh shook his head and gave Phade an admonishing look. “Not that quickly again!”

 

“Why not? Remember what Velaxis told you!”

 

“Are you going to bring that up each time you want aruna?” Vaysh couldn’t be really angry with Phade. The dark-haired har radiated love and Vaysh felt honored that it was aimed at him. Turning around, he moved the blanket to enfold Phade in it and then wrapped his legs around Phade’s waist.

 

Phade rested his brow against Vaysh’s and looked deeply into the gray eyes. “How about here and now?”

 

It took Vaysh a moment to understand what Phade was suggesting. “You want to take aruna here? Out in the open?” Phade nodded and their brows rubbed against each other. “You can’t be serious! Everyhar can see us!”

 

“I don’t mind.” Phade nuzzled Vaysh’s throat and his hands descended lower, searching for Vaysh’s ouana-lim. He was a bit surprised when he found Vaysh had turned soume again. “I would like you to be ouana for me, Vaysh. I want to experience that too.”

 

Vaysh sucked in his breath as Phade coaxed his ouana-lim to life and his big eyes showed how surprised he was with the course they were taking. “I used to be soume in the past,” he whispered and swallowed hard since his ouana-lim decided it liked the manipulation a lot. The stem was growing firmer and the petals were already trying to open. “I was soume for Ashmael and later Thiede dictated I had to be soume too. I don’t have much experience being ouana, Phade.”

 

Phade crawled onto Vaysh’s lap and sank down onto the sparkling ouana-lim. He purred contentedly once he was securely seated on Vaysh’s lap. Their bodies joined and he licked up Vaysh’s neck. “In that case you need to practice being ouana a lot, Vaysh.”

 

Vaysh buried his face against Phade’s shoulder and savored the feeling coursing through him. They didn’t move for a long time for Phade realized that this moment was special for Vaysh. He simply stroked Vaysh’s back soothingly and, in the end, he rocked the blond slowly. If it had been up to him, he would have asked Vaysh to become chesna with him, but he knew it was much too early to ask Vaysh such a thing. So instead of pressuring the blond har, he simply rocked along with Vaysh until they neared a joined climax.

 

Tears flowed down Vaysh’s face and he raised his swimming eyes to lock gazes with Phade. “You have no idea how much this means to me.”

 

Phade shook his head. “I think I do, Vaysh.” He *had* seen Vaysh’s past when they had shared breath that first time. Phade held Vaysh tight when they climaxed and he was thrilled to notice that this time around, Vaysh was holding him in turn.

 

~~~

 

Ashmael stalked through Forever in search of a quiet place. Under normal circumstances that would have been easy, but Cobweb’s staff was cleaning the house. In the end, he found a deserted room and settled down on the windowsill. His thoughts circled around Vaysh. He was glad that Vaysh had been healed and regretted not cleaning up his own mess in time. Maybe if he had confronted himself at an earlier stage he would have been able to be there for Vaysh. But now he had to work on himself first.

 

“Am I interrupting?”

 

Ashmael looked up and found Snake standing in the doorway. “No, you are not.”

 

Snake entered the room and sat down close to Ashmael. “You are still upset.”

 

“How much do you know?” Ashmael pulled the fabric of his blue robes closer to his body. Once he felt more focused he was going to ask Cobweb for more suitable clothes like a shirt, some jeans, and a pair of sturdy boots. Gelaming attire didn’t do in Forever.

 

”Your mind was open when you arrived last night and the things I didn’t understand Cobweb explained to me.”

 

Ashmael brushed his fair hair behind his ears so it wouldn’t obstruct his view. “I know you came here to talk about me and my problems, but can I say something to you first?”

 

Surprised, Snake nodded. “Of course.”

 

“I am happy that Cobweb and you are chesna. He deserves someone like you at his side. He might not want to admit it, but his life was miserable in the past.”

 

Snake inclined his head in acknowledgment. “And I am blessed to have him in my life. But you are right. That’s not why I am here. I want to talk about your problems.”

 

“Let me have it then. Tell me that I am stupid and a coward at that. Don’t you think I know that?” Ashmael glared at the wall, angry with himself for the mistakes he had made.

 

Snake rested a hand on a knee which the blond har had pulled close to his chest. “I am not here to judge you. You went through quite an ordeal when Vaysh died and you worked through it in your own way. It might not have been the best way, but for you, it worked.”

 

“It worked until Vaysh stood before me healed and whole again and asking me to take him back. That was when I realized that I hadn’t dealt with losing him at all. I turned him away because I was a coward.”

 

Snake squeezed Ashmael’s knee. “For what it is worth, I think you did the right thing.” Ashmael stopped glaring at the wall and Snake answered the blond har’s questioning look. “Take your time to work through your past, Ashmael. You can stay here as long as you want.”

 

“Thank you, Snake. I know that having me here is awkward for you, considering…”

 

“The fact that Cobweb and you used to take aruna doesn’t upset me,” Snake replied calmly and with eyes filled with wisdom. “I am just glad Cobweb had some har in his bed that cared about him. After Terzian, he needed that.”

 

Ashmael swallowed hard. “I don’t deserve your kindness. I was selfish back then.”

 

“Still, it made a difference to Cobweb.” Snake rose from the windowsill and gave Ashmael a long thoughtful look. “Don’t isolate yourself, Ashmael. Come and join us.” It was a pity that Swift, Seel, Moon, and Tyson were visiting with Flick and Ulaume for having the younger hara around might have lifted Ashmael’s spirits.

 

~~~

 

Cal pretended to be mystified when he ran into Vaysh later that day. He caught the other har in his arms and kept him there. “There is something different about you.” He grinned conspiratorially. “Is it the naughty expression in your eyes which tells me that you have been having aruna with Phade?” Cal shook his head and ignored Vaysh’s attempts to free himself. “Are the upturned corners of your mouth telling me you want to smile but are desperately trying to look displeased with me?” He shook his head again. “No, it is neither of those things.”

 

Vaysh lost his fight to look exasperated and finally smiled at Cal. “I am a blond, Cal. Don’t tell me you didn’t noticed.”

 

Continuing the act, Cal narrowed his eyes and examined the roots of Vaysh’s hair. “Yeah, you are definitely a blond.” He finally let go of Vaysh. “Care to tell me what happened?”

 

Absentmindedly, Vaysh ran his fingers through his mane. “Phade worked his magic on me when we took aruna. He didn’t tell me what he was going to do in advance. I was quite shocked to see blond hair instead of the red dye.” Vaysh fell into step beside the blond Tigron. Peeking at Cal, he asked, “Has there been any news about Ash yet?”

 

“He just left, Vaysh. Give him some time.” But at seeing the upset look on Vaysh’s face, he added, “He is with Snake and Cobweb in Forever. They will take of him. Don’t worry too much.”

 

“He is in good hands then.” Vaysh knew he had to let Ashmael go, but it was difficult for him to stop worrying. “I want him to heal too.”

 

Cal stopped Vaysh with a hand on the other har’s shoulder. “Let Ashmael worry about that…as well as Cobweb and Snake. Don’t take that burden onto your shoulders.” To his relief, Vaysh nodded.

 

“Phade is doing his best to support me and help me where he can. I am very fortunate to have him.”

Cal was happy to hear that. Vaysh was finally beginning to heal in mind as well.

 

~~~

 

“Do you think we need to tell Darq and Loki about our pearl?” Rue lay on his stomach on the bed and watched Velaxis get dressed. For once, they had just slept and not taken aruna.

 

“It might be wise to tell them, yes.” Velaxis put on his boots and sat down on the bed. “You should tell them. Maybe I shouldn’t be there when you do.” But Caeru shook his head. “Think about it, Rue. Darq is your son and Loki is… well your adopted son, but this harling will be my son. I am its hostling. They might not like this. You are the Tigrons’ consort and not mine. There is no way of knowing how they will react.”

 

Caeru hated to admit it, but Velaxis had made a valid point. “I will tell them,” he promised. “But I will pick the time and the place.”

 

~~~

 

Ashmael ended up helping Cobweb’s househara harvest the strawberries and apples. It was something he would normally never do, but the physical labor was just what he needed. Upon joining Cobweb and Snake for dinner that evening he felt pleasantly tired. He even ate with relish.

 

Cobweb however didn’t feel that relaxed. He worried about Silver’s mental state and was already trying to figure out a way to handle the har once he arrived at Forever.

 

“There is no use in worrying about that yet, Cobweb. We will deal with the situation when it occurs.” Snake raised an arm and caressed Cobweb’s face with his fingertips. “I am sure you will find a way to reach him.”

 

Cobweb sighed. “I wish they had found Silver before they had shipped him off to that musenda. He was there for a whole year.” How had that affected the young har?

 

“Cobweb, if anyone can help this har, it is you.” Ashmael gave Cobweb a look filled with trust and faith.

 

Cobweb smiled, but his eyes showed anguish. “Why does everyone always have such faith in me? I made my share of mistakes.”

 

“I don’t know why,” Ashmael replied. “We just do.”

 

~~~

 

Ashmael couldn’t sleep that night, even though he was tired to the bone from working all day. So after tossing and turning for an hour, he decided to head outside for a walk. The grounds of Forever seemed magical with the dark of midnight shrouding them as Ashmael found a place he liked and sat down. He rested his back against the trunk of an old oak tree and looked dreamily at the landscape in front of him which consisted of trees, shrubs, and a deserted cabin.

 

It was a place where he would have loved to take Vaysh to in the past. They would have sat for a while, talking quietly and admiring nature’s beauty before taking aruna all night long. But Vaysh was lying in Phade’s arms and, while Ashmael wished it had been him holding Vaysh, he was happy for his former chesnari in a way.

 

“You need to stop thinking about him.”

 

Ashmael blinked. He hadn’t noticed Cobweb sneaking up on him. It was a sure sign of how distracted he was. Cobweb stood in the shadows of the trees and only the whites of his eyes showed. “You can come out of hiding.”

 

Cobweb stepped out of the shadows and sat on his heels in front of Ashmael. His long, raven hair obscured part of his face. “Stop thinking of Vaysh all the time and focus on yourself.”

 

“That is easier said than done. I still see him standing there asking me if I want to take him back. That image has been burned onto my retina.”

 

“I hope Vaysh is being smarter and focusing on his *own* needs. Ash, you need to understand that the two of you are separate beings. You need to take care of yourself and Vaysh will do the same thing. Try to get in touch with yourself instead.”

 

“How do I do that? Tell me?”

 

Cobweb gifted Ashmael with a heartfelt smile. “Go to your core and search your feelings. You know how to do that.”

 

He did, but was he ready to follow through and confront himself?

 

~~~

 

During the next few days Vaysh settled into a routine with Phade. He became comfortable sharing rooms with the other har and even enjoyed wearing the dark-haired har’s clothes because they carried Phade’s scent. And Phade was the happiest har alive since he had Vaysh’s love.

 

Cal and Pellaz tried to be a bit more discrete when they took aruna and for the next few days no more reports on earth quakes were presented to them.

 

Rue however didn’t feel that pleased as he still had to find a way to tell Darq and Loki that Velaxis was hosting his pearl. He decided to postpone it for the time being until the opportune moment presented itself.

 

~~~

 

Ashmael stared at his reflection in the water, determined to do this. He had been running from himself for three days and Cobweb’s admonishing look told him that he shouldn’t put this off any longer. After all, he had come to Forever for a reason.

 

Sitting down cross-legged he glanced at his reflection one last time and then closed his eyes. He drew in a deep breath and focused within. He went down to his core and almost recoiled when he saw the ugly images there. He saw himself watching Vaysh and shying away from talking to Vaysh each time they met. Looking at it in retrospect, he realized he had always seen the pleading in the gray eyes, but had chosen to ignore it.

 

He had taken the easy way out at the time by looking the other way and telling himself that *his* Vaysh was no longer alive and that the present-day Vaysh was nothing but an abomination.

 

He had been there when Cal had come to Immanion to reclaim Pellaz and had witnessed Thiede’s demise. That had been the time when he still could have made amends to Vaysh. It had been the time for him to reach out to Vaysh and try to bridge the distance, but he had once more looked the other way. He couldn’t blame this on Vaysh, although he had tried to do so for a long time. Vaysh had been hurt – damaged – and Ashmael had been the sane and capable one. It had been up to him to make the first step, but he had never admitted that to himself – until now.

 

Self-hatred came to the surface of his soul and Ashmael gritted his teeth under its attack. If he truly wanted to move on, he had to accept what he had done and when the time came he should make amends. But it was time to look his demons in the eye and they were ugly. “Yes, I did those things and I admit to doing them… I made mistakes and when I get the chance I will apologize to Vaysh, but I need to move on.” Ashmael felt the urge to physically hurt himself in order to contain the anguish he was experiencing, but that was one road he wasn’t willing to take. He wasn’t going to injure himself on purpose.

 

“Stay strong, Ash. Don’t give in to this dark side of yours. It controlled you for many years. At its foundation is fear. Don’t give in.” Cobweb had followed Ashmael and had revealed himself when he had thought the other har had needed his support the most. He placed his hand on Ashmael’s shoulder and knelt next to him. “Fear is at the base of all negative emotions, Ash. You need to acknowledge that.”

 

“What am I afraid of?” Ashmael asked and looked at Cobweb pleadingly.

 

“You are afraid of many things. You are afraid that you failed Vaysh in the past, but you couldn’t prevent his death. You didn’t know Thiede’s plans. You are afraid that you are no longer the har you were and that is true. You have changed and so has Vaysh. You are afraid that, should the two of you get together again, that you will disappoint each other and the relationship will fail. You already made that happen when you turned him away. Let go of those fears, Ash. Free yourself of them.”

 

“How do I do that?” Ashmael wanted to let go but had no idea how to do that.

 

“I will make it easier on you,” Cobweb said and leaned in closer. “I will show you.” His lips found Ashmael’s and he coaxed those fears from Ashmael. They left the blond har’s mind in small huffs of breath which Cobweb collected in his mouth and then released by breathing them into the air. “Better?”

 

Ashmael smiled. He felt lighter – less burdened. “I think so.”

“Good.” Cobweb took Ashmael’s hand in his and guided the blond har into mediation. They remained like that for hours as Cobweb cleansed Ashmael’s soul of all the hatred, fear, and pain which had been a part of the blond har for so long. Ashmael had finally taken his first step on the long road of spiritual recovery.

 

~~~

 

“You sent for me?” Rue rushed into the Tigrons’ apartments, eager to find out why Pellaz wanted to talk to him. Surprised, he noticed that Cal, Darq, Loki, and even Geburael were also present. A queasy feeling formed in the pit of his stomach as he suddenly suspected why Pellaz had summoned him.

 

“Yes, I did.” Pellaz gestured for Caeru to sit down on the chair next to him. The other hara save Cal had already seated themselves on the couches. Cal stood close to the wall, resting a shoulder against it. “I believe there is something we need to tell our sons and high har, don’t you, Rue?”

 

Caeru hated being forced into this, but he also knew that he might not have found the courage to tell them otherwise. It was best to get it over with now. “Pellaz is right. I need to make an announcement. One which I hope you will welcome.” Caeru looked at Pellaz for help. It might make a difference if Pellaz was to make this announcement.

 

Pellaz took pity on his consort. “I will tell them,” he said and smiled at the Tigrina. “I must admit that I am happy to tell you this. Don’t think I am displeased with this news.”

 

Darq frowned and wondered what was going on. A glance at Loki and Geb showed that they had no clue either.

 

“There is going to be an addition to the family,” Pellaz declared, opting for the direct approach. “Rue fathered a pearl.”

 

Darq blinked in surprise and Loki’s jaw dropped. Geb was the only har who seemed unaffected by the news. “You fathered a pearl?” Loki asked Caeru.

 

“Yes, I did.”

 

“But I thought…” Darq bit the tip of his tongue. He wasn’t sure he was supposed to know that the Tigrina was barren.

 

“That I was barren,” Caeru finished for his son. “I was until recently. Your friend Zu, or Velaxis as he is known to me, healed me. He didn’t tell me though. I didn’t know it had happened until he had completed the process. And apparently, I fathered a pearl.”

 

Darq grinned. “That sounds like something Zu would do.” He had never stopped liking Zu and he loved his hostling so why would this news upset him? “Zu is hosting your pearl?”

 

“Yes, Velaxis is hosting my pearl,” Caeru confirmed. “You look pleased,” he added in a puzzled tone.

 

“I like both of you and I don’t mind having another brother. It would be nice to help raise that harling.”

 

Caeru sighed, relieved. One down, two to go. “And what about you, Geb?”

 

“I don’t mind,” the young har answered. “This doesn’t really concern me.”

 

“But it does,” Loki corrected his chesnari. “Guess who will end up watching the harling in the end?” Realization dawned on Geb’s face and the resulting surprise on Geb’s face made Loki smile. “I am happy for you, Rue,” he stated and got to his feet. He covered the distance and pressed a kiss to Rue’s brow. Although Pellaz was his hostling, the Tigron had often been distant and in Rue Loki had found a good substitute. He loved Caeru as much as he loved his hostling and his father.

 

Cal smirked at seeing the relief in Caeru’s eyes. Like the Tigrina, he was glad that this meeting had gone well.

 

~~~

 

Vaysh sat down opposite Phade and watched him. Phade, curious, raised his gaze and looked at the blond har who had changed immensely during the last few days. Aside from the obvious new hair color, Vaysh had gained some weight. A mild tan colored his features and the har smiled more often. All those changes pleased Phade. What also pleased him was the fact that they had aruna every night and that Vaysh was growing more comfortable with being ouana.

 

“You look happy,” Vaysh commented as he reached for his cup of tea.

 

“That is because I *am* happy.” Phade raised his cup and sipped. Leering at Vaysh from over the rim of his cup, he took another step into solidifying their relationship by reaching out to Vaysh in mind touch. /You make me happy./

 

Vaysh’s hands shook from Phade’s voice in his head and he smiled at the other har. /You make me happy too./ He placed the cup onto the table and exchanged his seat for the armrest of Phade’s chair. Balancing precariously, he ran his fingers up Phade’s shoulder. /You want us to become chesna. I have sensed it./

 

/That is true, but I am not going to ask you yet./ Phade felt encouraged since Vaysh was bringing up the matter. /I will be patient./

 

Vaysh pressed a kiss to Phade’s brow. He couldn’t make any promises yet, but with each passing day, his feelings for Phade deepened and maybe one day in the future, he would be able to let go of Ashmael and become chesna with Phade instead.

 

TBC in Silver Tears


	4. Silver Tears

Main pairing: Ashmael/Silver (OMC)  
Side pairings: Velaxis/Caeru, Vaysh/Phade, Pellaz/Cal and Cobweb/Snake  
Disclaimer: Not mine. No copyright infringement is intended. All characters belong to Storm Constantine.

Silver Tears

 

Cobweb’s nervousness showed clearly and Ashmael knew the reason why the other har was so upset. The skies had darkened with the ethereal lightning which announced the arrival of sedim. It must be Paran escorting Silver as promised.

 

Ashmael had decided not to get involved where the young har was concerned since he didn’t trust his reactions yet. At times, he still was in emotional turmoil and that made him the wrong har to be around Silver. Ashmael watched from the side as Cobweb and Snake walked toward the road that led to the house. Cobweb was fidgeting, but Snake seemed calm and in control of his emotions. Snake took Cobweb’s hand in his and lent his chesnari the strength he needed for the upcoming confrontation.

 

Cobweb tried to catch a glimpse of the har seated on the sedu in front of Paran, but he was wrapped up in a black traveling cloak to keep out the cold that attacked the travelers using the Otherlanes. This was it then. One of Terzian’s sons had found his way to Forever. Snake squeezed his fingers encouragingly and Cobweb drew in a deep, steadying breath.

 

Paran brushed off the ice that had formed on his clothes and sought out Cobweb’s gaze. He hadn’t been certain Cobweb would be interested in finding out that he had located one of the missing pearls, so when he had sent that message he had distantly thought that he might not get an answer. To his relief, Cobweb had replied almost instantly in offering the young har a home. Paran knew that a rocky road lay ahead of Cobweb, Snake, and Silver since the young har struggled with several issues which wouldn’t be solved in a day.

 

The har in his arms was motionless and fear poured from him in waves. “We have arrived,” he said. “Just one more minute and I will help you down.” He still had to inform Cobweb and Snake of the most recent discovery he had made where Silver was concerned.

 

Cobweb moved forward and Snake followed at once. They continued to hold hands and Cobweb felt grateful for Snake’s unconditional support in this dark hour. “Paran, we expected you a few days ago!”

 

“There were complications,” Paran replied and dismounted the sedu. His hands snaked around Silver’s waist and he placed the younger har on his feet. The traveling cloak which was frozen with ice moved and revealed the har’s face, causing Paran, Snake, and Cobweb to suck in their breath. Ashmael moved closer since he felt shocked as well as intrigued.

 

The young har was of the same height as Cobweb, but the comparison ended there. Straight, silver-blond hair descended down the back and reached past the buttocks. It was wavy, indicating that until recently some of it might have braided. His figure was willowy and Cobweb was afraid that once they got him out of the clothes, he would see bones sticking out. Hands with long and elegant fingers clutched the frozen cloak close to his chest and Cobweb’s heart went out to the younger har. Cobweb forced himself to look Silver in the eye and that was when his heart stopped for a precious moment. The features weren’t Terzian’s, which had been Cobweb’s greatest fear. It was the eyes that made him sway on his feet.

 

Ashmael, standing some distance away, swallowed hard at seeing the blackness that filled the har’s eye sockets. What had taken away Silver’s eyesight?

 

“That is the biggest complication I encountered,” Paran explained as he kept a tight hold on Silver’s right arm. “He is blind. Nothing that can’t be cured during Grissecon, but for some reason no one ever bothered doing so.”

 

Cobweb shivered and his chest heaved with emotion. “Thank you for bringing him here.”

 

Paran nodded his head. He felt pity towards the injured har as well. “Maybe we should go inside so he can lie down. The journey has drained him.”

 

Throughout the years, Silver had gotten used to hearing hara talk about him like he wasn’t present and it never occurred to him to inquire where he was or why he had been taken there. He was still trying to deal with the things that had happened the last few days.

 

“Of course,” Cobweb answered quickly. “I am a bad host not attending to your needs, Silver.” Silver’s head moved minutely as if he was trying to determine what direction the voice was coming from. Cobweb took a step closer to Silver and then said, “My name is Cobweb and I am a friend. There is another har present and his name is Snake. He is my chesnari.”

 

Taking in the information, Silver nodded weakly. He wondered if they were his new owners. For a while he had thought Paran was, but then the har had told him that he would be living in a place called Forever so he had surmised that he wasn’t going to stay with the officer.

 

Cobweb felt shaken as he watched Silver cock his head as if to figure out what was expected of him. He had known re-socializing Silver might be a challenge, but he had never thought he would be taking in a har who was blind and damaged in so many ways. “Allow me to guide you into the house.” He carefully twined his fingers around Silver’s and distinctly noticed the violent tremors that shook the other har’s body upon contact.

 

Silver allowed the touch – he always did. At a very young age he had learned that he didn’t really have a say in who was going to touch him and obediently walked next to Cobweb when the other har started guiding him toward the entrance of the house.

 

Seeing Ashmael standing near the doorway, Cobweb was touched to find sympathy in the blue eyes. Ashmael took a step inside since he had been blocking the doorway and watched them go inside. His gaze was glued to Silver’s back until the har went into one of the rooms and vanished from his sight. He then made his way over to Paran, who was talking to Snake. He decided to listen in.

 

“You might want to examine him before you put him to bed, Snake. His body is covered in cuts, burns, and bruises. Unfortunately we didn’t have a healer with us or we would have given him some healing. You also might want to look into the possibility of healing his eyes,” Paran informed Snake.

 

A displeased grunt rose from deep within Snake’s throat. “Did you find him like that or did your soldiers…?”

 

“My hara would never do such a thing,” Ashmael stated as he got involved in the conversation as well.

 

Paran inclined his head in agreement. “We found Silver like that. He was hiding in one of the rooms. He was huddled in a corner and staring at us with those black eyes.” Paran shivered in remembrance. “They had pierced his flesh and kept him chained to the bed. We managed to remove the chains, but we didn’t touch the piercings since we were afraid the wounds might get infected.”

 

Snake shivered in discomfort. “Cobweb and I will take care of it.”

 

“Do you have more information on him?” Ashmael asked.

 

“We made some inquiries. He must have been at that musenda for one, maybe two years. Before that he was one of Ponclast’s servants. I am not sure what was worse: being near Ponclast’s vile nature or being held a prisoner in that musenda.”

 

“Do you know how he lost his eyesight?” Ashmael inquired.

 

Paran shook his head. “I don’t. I tried to find out, but Silver isn’t very talkative. He has been conditioned to be quiet instead. It will take time to gain his trust.” Paran sighed. “He spoke a few words, mostly after I asked him questions directly, but he seemed very afraid to speak at all. If it hadn’t been for the number tattooed on his neck I would never have found out his identity. I was surprised to find him in such a condition. I thought that they would make warriors out of the pearls Terzian fathered.”

 

“Maybe it didn’t matter to them who the father was,” Ashmael whispered and his gaze was drawn back to the house.

 

The other har shuffled his feet. “I am sorry but I can’t stay. We found more hara who need attention and I am trying to link them to their fathers and hostlings in the hope they will take them in. These hara need their family.”

 

“We won’t keep you any longer,” Snake said. He gave Paran a thankful look. “You are always welcome to visit to check up on Silver.”

 

“Thank you,” Paran replied as he made his way over to his sedu. “I might just do that.” He mounted the sedu and turned it around. For a second the earth shook and then they were gone.

 

Ashmael turned toward Snake. “We should join Cobweb.”

 

Snake nodded and fixed Ashmael with a searching gaze. Was Ashmael emotionally stable enough to be near Silver? Ashmael sensed the probing of his mind and allowed it, realizing Snake must have a good reason for doing so. He didn’t know what Snake found, but in the end, the other har nodded his head and gestured for him to follow.

 

~~~

 

Silver listened closely, trying to find out where he was and what was going to happen to him. He didn’t hear voices screaming as he had in the musenda. He didn’t sense anything evil close to him and that confused him even more. He had lived with evil surrounding him most of his life.

 

“Please sit down. Your room will be ready in a moment.” The room was in fact already prepared, but Cobweb wanted a moment to get to know Silver. “You are among friends here.” Cobweb guided Silver to a couch and helped him sit down. The empty look in the dark sockets made him shiver and served to remind him that this har needed him. “Do you know where you are?” He was tempted to take the traveling cloak away from Silver so he could wrap the young har in something warm instead, but the way Silver was clutching the fabric showed that it wouldn’t be easy to get the cloak away from him.

 

Silver slowly shook his head. Paran had mentioned the name of the place to him, but he had forgotten about it. He sat painfully straight as he had been taught and wished he knew what these hara had in store for him. The fact that he didn’t sense any evil intentions from this har called Cobweb didn’t reassure him.

 

“My home is called Forever. It is your home now too.” Silver frowned and seemed confused, but Cobweb didn’t elaborate. His priority was to get the younger har in a comfortable bed so he could rest. “You will stay with me, Snake, and a friend of ours called Ashmael.” Cobweb didn’t bother introducing his staff to Silver yet, feeling certain that the younger har would forget the names should he be fed too many.

 

Silver tried to memorize the names, but he didn’t feel well in general. He was tired and hurt and desperately wanted to curl up in a corner and go to sleep. He flinched when Cobweb’s fingers touched his temple and started to move away from the touch, but then froze on the spot, remembering the assortment of punishments Cobweb could choose from in case he didn’t obey. He didn’t want to give this har a reason to use any of them on him.

 

A sad look spread across Cobweb’s face as he encountered that particular thought in Silver’s mind. “I am not going to hurt you,” he stated, but knew that Silver didn’t believe him yet any way. At that moment Snake and Ashmael entered the room and Cobweb looked to his chesnari for guidance.

 

Snake recalled Paran’s words and shared the information with Cobweb in mind touch. /We need to check on his injuries./ He hoped Silver would let them.

 

“We shall take you to your room so you can rest,” Cobweb announced and went to help Silver up from the couch when the younger har swayed and threatened to collapse. Ashmael was faster than Cobweb and caught Silver in his arms. Resolutely he lifted Silver and cradled him against his chest. Cobweb nodded approvingly and touched Silver’s brow with his fingertips. “He has fainted, which is most fortunate since we still have to treat his injuries.”

 

“Show me where to take him,” Ashmael requested. Snake led the way and Ashmael concentrated on holding Silver close. “He hardly weighs anything.”

 

“So I surmised,” Cobweb commented in frustration. “They might have been starving him.”

 

“In times of war food goes to the soldiers,” Ashmael replied emotionlessly. “And the weak often pay the price.” They reached Silver’s room which, to Ashmael’s surprise, was located next to his.

 

“Put him on the bed and stand back.” Snake had already fetched a bowl with water, a washcloth, and some clean clothes for Silver. “Cobweb and I might need to give him healing.”

 

Ashmael placed Silver on the bed and then stood close to the wall. He watched each of their moves with interest though.

 

Cobweb seated himself on the bed and pried away the traveling cloak. Beneath it, Silver wore blue robes made of thin transparent fabrics. “Let’s remove those.” Snake assisted him and they dropped the dirty robes onto the floor. All three hara gasped in shock when they took in the amount of damage done to Silver’s body. Snake even growled angrily and had to turn away to compose himself. Ashmael swallowed hard and was glad Paran had found Silver.

 

Cobweb’s jaw set firmly and he started to remove the silver piercings. The nipples had been pierced and it hadn’t been done sanitarily. Blood and dirt clung to the silver rings and the unconscious har moaned pitifully when Cobweb carefully removed them. “I want to hurt someone for the things they did to him.”

 

Cobweb’s words startled Snake briefly, who knew his chesnari was a forgiving and loving har. But he had to agree. He wanted to hurt someone too. “Let’s do what we can for him.”

 

Ashmael’s hands became fists and he wanted to smash something, but for their sake, he controlled that urge and watched.

 

Next was the piercing that had been forced through Silver’s nostril and once they had done away with that, they focused on the silver collar that was squeezing Silver’s throat. The young har must have worn it for a long time for an imprint had already formed on the skin. With disdain Cobweb flung the collar onto the bed. “What else did they do to him? They kept him like an animal!”

 

Snake, seated on Silver’s right, gently took the har’s hand in his and managed to remove the wrist restraint. Beneath the metal, the skin looked angry and infected. While Snake removed the ankle restraints, Cobweb started to heal Silver. Snake quickly lost count of the burns, cuts, and bruises that marred the young har’s body. All the while his anger kept building and, in the end, he had to step outside the room to compose himself.

 

Cobweb gestured for Ashmael to take the place Snake had vacated. “Try to clean him up as best as you can. We will wash his hair another time. I don’t want him to wake up at this stage.”

 

Ashmael wetted the washcloth and removed the dirt and blood from Silver’s body. Even in sleep, Silver remained tense. “And I thought I was a mess,” he commented dryly.

 

Cobweb felt relieved once they had removed all the offending metal from Silver’s body. The collar and restraints were gone and he shivered at the way the Varrs must have kept Silver chained to whatever place they desired. “Just when I think I saw the depths we descended too, I see something that shocks me even more. There must have been more hara like him in that musenda.”

 

“Paran will take care of them. They will find good homes with hara who care about them.” Ashmael watched how the water in the bowl took on a red tint. “He is fortunate to have you, Cobweb.”

 

Swallowing convulsively, Cobweb knew he had given Silver as much healing as he felt was safe. He didn’t want to jolt the younger har’s system awake at this point. He would give Silver more healing once he was awake. “We should let him sleep,” he said once Ashmael had finished cleaning Silver up. He pulled up the blanket and covered the naked har with it. “I still see his damaged eyes even when they are closed. Why did nohar heal that injury?”

 

Ashmael hated himself for saying it, but he still did. “It might have been their doing, Cobweb. It is easier to subdue a blind har than one who can see.”

 

Cobweb trembled violently. “It is a pity that I can’t hurt Ponclast for what he did to Silver.”

 

Ashmael placed his hand on top of Cobweb’s. “Focus on healing him, Cobweb.”

 

Cobweb managed a smile. “You are a quick study, Ash.”

 

“I have an excellent teacher.” Ashmael rose from the bed. He put the bowl of dirty water onto a tray and then stepped into the corridor where he found Snake, who had composed himself. “We should let him sleep.”

 

Snake nodded. “But someone should stay with him at all times.”

 

“I will sit with him first,” Cobweb offered before anyone else could speak. “You can relieve me in a few hours, Snake. You might need to give him more healing at that point.”

 

“I want to help too,” Ashmael declared in a firm tone that left little room to negotiate.

 

“You can relieve Snake,” Cobweb replied, wanting Ashmael to help because it might further his recovery.

 

Pleased, Ashmael nodded since he had been included as well.

 

~~~

 

Silver’s dreams were restless. He hadn’t always been blind and remembered the way things used to look in the world. That was why his tormentors had faces – ugly faces. He released a scream and jolted upright. He extended his arms to fight off his assailants, but once he was more aware he realized that there weren’t any. He wasn’t alone in the room exactly as he sensed somehar’s presence, but the har didn’t feel evil to him.

 

“You had a nightmare,” Cobweb said and reached for the glass of water which Snake had left on the nightstand. “Maybe some water will refresh you.” He didn’t want to address the nightmare since Silver was in such a state, but now he knew how Silver had lost his eyesight. Somehar had kept him down and burned the retina with a hot poker. That thought alone was enough to make Cobweb scream for his chesnari’s comforting presence. Snake would arrive shortly and in the mean time it was up to a very upset Cobweb to calm an even more upset Silver.

 

Silver had no idea where he was and turned his head toward Cobweb, zeroing in on the direction the voice had come from. The other har took hold of his hand and curled his fingers around something.

 

“Sip some water. It might calm you down.” What was taking Snake? Cobweb needed him!

 

Silver obediently sipped and then drew in a deep breath. He hated having nightmares. Listening closely, he heard the other har’s heart beating rapidly. Why was his owner upset? Was it because he had screamed?

 

Cobweb placed the glass back onto the nightstand, but didn’t let go of Silver’s hand yet. “I am not your new owner. I am a friend and your host, but not your owner.”

 

Snake appeared in the doorway and quickly covered the distance between his chesnari and himself. Cobweb had shown him in mind touch what had upset him and the terrible images still burned in Snake’s mind as well. He pulled up a chair and sat down close to Cobweb.

 

Silver felt confused when another har joined them. He thought he had smelled the har before when he had been delivered to this place, but had forgotten what name went with it.

 

“I am Snake.” Snake tried to calm Cobweb and to establish some sort of contact with Silver at the same time. “Cobweb and I are healers. You are here because you are injured. Do you remember arriving at Forever?”

 

Silver nodded slowly. The officer that had treated him kindly had brought him to this place – to Forever. Growing aware that something was different, his hand went to his throat and discovered that the slave collar was gone. He had worn the constricting collar for four years and for it to be gone was strange. He had forgotten what it felt like to be free.

 

Snake and Cobweb patiently waited while Silver touched his wrists and then his ankles. It didn’t matter that the blanket kept him from touching bare skin, Silver understood the restraints had been removed. “Why?” he asked, unable to remain silent any longer. None of this made sense.

 

Cobweb sighed with relief at hearing Silver’s voice for the first time. He had been afraid that Silver was a mute or had been so indoctrinated that he would never speak again. “Because you are no longer a slave. You are free.”

 

Silver knew the meaning of those words, but had trouble connecting them to his person. Suddenly the excitement became too much and he sank down onto the pillows again, staring blindly at the ceiling. It then registered with him that he no longer felt sore. His body, while still weak and hurting in some places, no longer vibrated with pain. It was another novel experience for Silver.

 

“Your life has changed,” Cobweb stated, eager to show Silver that he was among friends. “Snake and I have taken you in and we will care for you. We have already started healing your body, but you will need more healing in time.” He was tempted to bring up the fact that they could also restore Silver’s lost eyesight, but he didn’t want to overwhelm the other har. Silver remained quiet, which worried Cobweb and he exchanged a look with Snake.

 

Snake however understood that Silver simply felt overwhelmed and was lost in his sensations. His body wasn’t aching so badly and the metal restraints had been removed. Silver needed a moment to accept those things. He shared that information with Cobweb in mind touch and they patiently waited for Silver to compose himself.

 

Almost thirty minutes passed by before Silver stirred again. His stomach growled and Silver’s features contorted.

 

“When was the last time you ate?” Cobweb inquired and gestured for Snake to fetch something light from the kitchen.

 

“I don’t remember,” Silver murmured. He really didn’t. Paran had given him some food but he didn’t know how long ago that had been.

 

“Snake will get you something to eat.” Cobweb nodded his head and his chesnari left for the kitchen. “We removed the piercings as well since they were done badly and had become infected.”

 

Silver shuddered and felt grateful that they had done so. “Thank you.” He had always hated them.

 

Cobweb wished the other har would ask him questions, but Silver continued to stare at the ceiling. “Paran found you in a musenda. How long did they keep you a prisoner there?”

 

“I lost track of time.” Silver tried to remember, but his memory wasn’t cooperating. “A year...maybe two?”

 

“Did they keep you locked up? Chained up?”

 

Silver nodded. It had amused them to keep him chained to a wall or a bed, knowing he would be in pain if he tried to move.

 

“They hurt you badly, didn’t they?” Cobweb cursed himself for stating the obvious. “Did they also subject you to pelki?” The tremors that shook Silver’s body told him everything he needed to know. “They did.”

 

Silver turned away from him and rolled onto his side. He brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He closed his eyes and wept silently.

 

Cobweb wanted to comfort Silver, but wasn’t sure his touch would be welcomed. He couldn’t just sit there and watch the younger har fall to pieces. He exchanged his chair for the side of the bed and raised his hand. “I am going to stroke your hair… I don’t mean you any harm. I just want to comfort you.” He thought it best to tell Silver what he was going to do since he didn’t want to startle the already distressed har.

 

Silver didn’t react. He was much too used to letting anyhar do as they pleased, but once Cobweb’s fingers stroked his hair he had to admit it felt nice. Nohar had ever done that before.

 

Cobweb focused on sending Silver more healing and reassurance and the weeping stopped after several minutes. Simultaneously, Snake appeared in the doorway carrying a tray filled with food. Cobweb wasn’t so sure any more that Silver was able to handle the food.

 

Snake closed his eyes, centered himself, and then entered the room, which was full of tension and fear. “I brought you something to eat.” He placed the tray on the nightstand and waited for either Cobweb or Silver to react.

 

“Can you sit upright? You shouldn’t be in too much pain.” The healing he had just given Silver should have taken care of the last of the aches.

 

Silver nodded to show that he would try. With Cobweb’s help, he managed to sit up and reclined onto the pillows. He didn’t know why they were helping him or how long their kindness would last. He would just accept what was happening to him and deal with the consequences later. He was certain his good luck couldn’t last.

 

Cobweb lifted the bowl filled with soup from the tray and guided Silver’s hands around it. “Be careful. The soup is still hot.” He wanted Silver to feed himself since he didn’t want the young har to become dependant on him.

 

Snake flinched upon seeing that the imprints from the collar and restraints were still visible around Silver’s throat, wrists, and ankles. Hopefully they would fade in time.

 

Silver concentrated on sipping some of the vegetable soup. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had something warm to eat. It took him almost fifteen minutes to empty the bowl, but once he had finished it, he felt better.

 

“Can you manage some bread as well?” Snake had buttered a thick slice and had added honey to it.

 

“I will try.” Silver’s fingers found the slice of bread and brought the food to his lips. He ate slowly, still getting used to the idea that food was available to him. Once he had finished the bread as well, he felt exhausted again. The weeping, eating, and talking had drained him and his eyes began to close.

 

Cobweb noticed it. “Sleep some more.” He tucked the blanket firmly around Silver’s form and watched the eyes close. Once Silver was asleep again, his emotions got the better of him and he sobbed quietly. Snake took him into his arms and held him close.

 

“He will recover, Cobweb. Just give him time.”

 

Cobweb nodded meekly and desperately hoped that Snake was right.

 

TBC

 

Part 2

 

Pleased, Cal watched Vaysh snuggle closer to Phade. Pellaz had invited Phade and Vaysh to dinner, which they had accepted. Cal had wondered why Pellaz hadn’t invited Caeru and Velaxis as well, but apparently the two hara were going clubbing. It seemed that they were very fond of a night club called ‘Damnation Angels’.

 

Pellaz was also watching Phade and Vaysh closely while reclining in a sea of pillows which had been heaped onto the sofa. He had invited them for a reason for he wanted to see how they were doing. These last few days he had backed off and let Phade take over. It warmed his heart to see Vaysh reach out to Phade trustingly and even press a kiss onto the dark-haired har’s wrist. He would never tire of watching Vaysh and was grateful for the change Velaxis had caused. “I am still trying to get used to you being a blond, Vaysh.”

 

Vaysh smiled coyly at the dark-haired Tigron. “That makes two of us. Each time I look into a mirror it seems like there is a different har staring back at me. I definitely need more time to get used to being blond again.”

 

Cal grinned and quipped, “Blonds have more fun!” Pellaz gave him a doubtful look, but Cal waved it away with a hand. “Maybe you should go blond for a change.” The horrified look Pellaz shot him made Cal burst out into merry laughter.

 

“Don’t even joke about that!” Pellaz ran his fingers through his ebony mane and glared at Cal. “Don’t even try to make me into a blond! My wrath would be terrible!”

 

“Protest noted,” Cal retorted, still grinning.

 

Vaysh loved hearing them banter. He remembered a time when Pellaz had been alone, depressed, and grieving because Cal had stepped out of his life. It was good to see them happy. Phade’s fingertips brushed his lips and he directed his attention back to his… To his what? Friend? Lover? Chesnari? Vaysh didn’t know what Phade was to him exactly. He only knew that he loved Phade and would greatly miss him should the other har ever leave his life.

 

Vaysh had been worried the last few days that Phade would leave Immanion and return to his tower. After all, he was in charge there, but Phade had assured him that he could stay for a longer period of time. It did leave Vaysh with a question though: what would he do should Phade be needed back at home? Go with him?

 

“Hey, remember the deal we made?” Phade fingered a blond lock. “You are not allowed to brood.”

 

Vaysh, ignoring the Tigrons’ presence, crawled onto Phade’s lap and wrapped his arms around the other har. “I already stopped brooding.”

 

“Good.” Phade heard Cal’s amused laughter and smiled. He knew exactly why Cal was laughing. Only a few weeks ago none of them could have imagined Vaysh straddling him with somehar else present. Phade stared deeply into Vaysh’s eyes and brought him in for a kiss before he shared breath with him. Like Vaysh, he quickly forgot about the Tigrons’ presence and lost himself in the intimacy.

 

~~~

Rue rotated his hips and thrust wantonly against Velaxis. They had taken to the dance floor and were doing their best to ignore the attention they were attracting. They had dressed up and had applied heavier make-up than they normally did to avoid being recognized, but the Tigrina’s features were too well known.

 

“I love this club! The music! The atmosphere! And I love you!” Caeru still remembered every detail of the aruna they had taken in the back room and a part of him wanted to repeat that experience, but he also knew that they wouldn’t get away with it this time around.

 

“I like it here too, though too many eyes are fastened upon us. We should leave shortly.” Velaxis was painfully aware of the envious looks he was attracting. The Tigrina was popular and many hara would love to take aruna with Caeru. “Maybe we should move this to your rooms.” Caeru however gave him a pleading look. “Okay, we will stay a little longer, but if one of them approaches or touches you we are out of here!” He was feeling possessive of Rue.

 

“Don’t worry about them,” Rue murmured into Velaxis’ ear. “You are the only har for me.” Especially since Velaxis was hosting his pearl. Caeru wrapped an arm around Velaxis’ waist, pulled him close, and then rubbed the skin below Velaxis’ too short shirt with his fingertips. “I can barely wait for you to drop our pearl. I want to see our harling hatch.”

 

Velaxis was more aware of the fact that hara were listening in. “You shouldn’t say that aloud. If they find out it will be in the tabloids tomorrow.”

 

“Do you think I care?” Caeru gave Velaxis a brilliant smile. “Everyhar can know as far as I am concerned. I fathered a pearl, Vel. I am going to have another son. I am going to be a father!”

 

Velaxis groaned. The few hara who hadn’t caught on yet had doubtlessly heard Caeru’s ecstatic declaration. It was only a matter of minutes before the rumor would start making its way through Immanion.

 

~~~

 

Silver kept his eyes closed although he was awake. His senses told him that he wasn’t alone in the room. A har was sitting close to the bed, but he could tell that it wasn’t Cobweb or Snake. He had memorized their spiritual imprints so he could recognize them. This was a different har.

 

Watching his charge, Ashmael tried to decide on a course of action. He knew that Silver was awake, but was still undecided if he should address the other har. Silver looked weak and the bruises were only fading slowly in spite of all the healing Cobweb and Snake had given Silver.

 

Silver was forced to move because he wasn’t comfortable on his side any longer and rolled onto his back. He realized that pretending to be asleep no longer worked and opened his eyes. A few years ago, he would have been able to look at the ceiling or take in the har seated close to the bed, but now his world was shrouded in darkness.

 

“My name is Ashmael. Cobweb asked me to sit with you while you slept. Do you need anything?” Ashmael shifted forward on his chair, trying to label the expression that appeared on Silver’s face. He hoped that Paran would find good homes for the other hara who had been prisoners at the musenda. “Do you want some tea?” he asked when Silver remained quiet.

 

Silver would have loved some hot tea, but in the past he had learned that everything came with a price and he shuddered at the thought of how he had to pay for their kindness.

 

Sucking in his breath, Ashmael forced himself to remain calm. Silver had no mental walls whatsoever and was broadcasting his thoughts. His tormentors had probably left Silver uneducated on purpose. They had most likely savored feeling Silver’s pain. Some bastards got off on that. “I will help you sit upright.”

 

But Silver moved faster and pushed himself into a sitting position. He rested his back against the headboard and waited for Ashmael to make his move.

 

Ashmael understood why Silver avoided contact, but also knew that the other har still needed help. “Here’s your tea.” He had poured a cup of the hot brew before placing the cup into Silver’s hands.

 

Silver warmed his hands on the cup and blew onto the surface. What was that smell?

 

“It is Saint John’s Wort,” Ashmael explained. “It might not taste great, but it should help you relax.” He reached for the plate of crackers and placed it on the bed. “Here are some crackers, if you are hungry. They should be easy on your stomach.” He placed one of Silver’s hands on the crackers so the other har knew where to find them.

 

“Thank you.” Silver curled his fingers around the hot cup and waited.

 

Ashmael knew what Silver was waiting for, but loathed addressing the matter. “I am a friend,” he said instead. “I will take care of you until Cobweb and Snake return.” Silver however didn’t trust him and Ashmael couldn’t blame him. “Can I ask you something personal?”

 

Silver nodded his head. Hara didn’t normally ask his permission to question him.

 

“Are you completely blind or can you still see some things?”

 

“I am blind.” Silver sipped and loved the way the tea warmed him from the inside. Although it wasn’t cold in the room he felt chilly.

 

“When did they…? When did it happen?” Maybe he was a coward, but Ashmael was afraid to be more specific.

 

“A few years ago.” Silver closed his eyes and sipped again.

 

“How did it happen?” Ashmael hoped his questions weren’t making Silver uncomfortable.

 

“They didn’t like the way I looked at them.” Silver flinched for he would never forget the pain he had endured when they had blinded him.

 

Ashmael wished Silver would be a bit more forthcoming with information, but the other har answered each question with as few words as possible. “I will be your eyes…” He didn’t know what exactly had made him say that except that it sounded like it was the only correct thing to say.

 

Silver was stunned to hear the other har say something like that. “Why would you want to be my eyes?”

 

“Because I want to.” Ashmael smiled even though Silver couldn’t see it. “Aren’t you hungry? You should eat some crackers.”

 

Silver absentmindedly took hold of a cracker and then munched on it. The silence that filled the room unnerved him. He wished Ashmael would say something!

 

Ashmael had caught that thought, but decided against playing along since he wanted Silver to talk to him instead. Maybe the other har’s need for conversation would make him speak up. His tactic worked and Silver unexpectedly spoke.

 

“What does Forever look like?” The younger har surprised himself when he actually remembered the name of the place. He was genuinely curious. Forever didn’t seem to be much like Fulminir.

 

“It is a sanctuary,” Ashmael replied while moving his chair closer to the bed. “It is a grand, old house and its lands stretch out for miles. Woods surround the house and there is even a pond. Cobweb has lived here for many years and then Snake moved in with his son, Moon.” Since Silver was listening intently, Ashmael continued after nudging the other har to sip the rest of the tea. “You remember Cobweb, don’t you?”

 

Silver nodded. “He was kind toward me.” It was true. Cobweb had tried to comfort him. “He is the first to…” Cobweb had been the first har touch him in kindness. If he concentrated really hard, he could still feel the long fingers move through his hair.

 

Ashmael saw the image in Silver’s mind and realized just how harsh the other har’s life had been. He wanted to distract him. “Cobweb is a fascinating har.” Realizing that Silver had no idea what Cobweb looked like, he started to describe him. “Cobweb is a beauty with long, raven hair and bewitching eyes. He is tall and slender though I would never call him weak. He has a son called Swift and he adopted another harling called Tyson. Cobweb is the master of Forever.”

 

Silver absorbed this information greedily and was curious enough to ask a question. “And what about Snake?”

 

“Snake is Cobweb’s chesnari. They met by chance some years ago. Snake was injured back then, but Cobweb found a way to heal him. They have been inseparable ever since. They are good for each other and they mean you well. They will never willingly hurt you. You are in the best of hands.”

 

Silver had forgotten about his tea and the crackers. His curiosity needed to be fed instead. “And what do you look like, Ashmael?”

 

Ashmael chuckled. “Why don’t you see for yourself?” He wasn’t pureborn and remembered how blind people in the past used to read a face.

 

Silver frowned, not understanding what Ashmael was hinting at. A moment later, Ashmael sat down on the bed and Silver stopped himself from crawling away from the other har at the last moment.

 

“Don’t be afraid. I just want to help you see.” Ashmael placed the tea cup which Silver had been holding on the nightstand and then guided the trembling hands towards his face. “I have blond hair,” he said and ran Silver’s fingers through his mane. “Some call me handsome, though I am not sure I would agree.” He placed Silver’s fingertips against his face and waited for the other har to catch on.

 

It was a strange occurrence for Silver to touch another har out of his own accord so it took him a moment to understand what Ashmael wanted him to do. Slowly, he felt his way around Ashmael’s face. “Do you live in Forever too?”

 

Ashmael shook his head and smiled when Silver’s fingertips brushed against his lips. “I hail from Immanion. Did you ever hear that name before?”

 

“I don’t think so…” Silver felt mesmerized by the texture of Ashmael’s soft lips beneath his sensitive fingertips. “I seldom listened when they talked.”

 

Taking one of Silver’s probing hands in his, Ashmael rubbed the fingers. “You should eat some more.”

 

Ashmael’s suggestion took Silver by surprise. It was a sudden change of subject. “The crackers?”

 

Ashmael placed another cracker in Silver’s hand and ordered, “Eat. I will pour more tea.”

 

Silver ate the cracker and then sipped more of the tea. He liked Cobweb and Snake and now he liked Ashmael too.

 

~~~

 

Loki shuffled his feet as he stood in the doorway. Pellaz was seated behind a large desk and had just dismissed the members of the Hegemony. Loki had learned early in life that he had to carefully time his visits.

 

Pellaz frowned upon sensing his son’s reluctance to make himself known and looked up from the report he had been reading. It was on the progress his forces were making in dismantling Ponclast’s stronghold. He had never thought that ridding himself of Ponclast’s legacy would take so long. “Don’t just stand there,” he said. “Come here.”

 

Drawing a deep breath, Loki felt like a harling again as he approached the desk. When he had still been little, he hadn’t seen his hostling seated behind the mahogany monster. “I hope I am not disturbing you?”

 

Pellaz shook his head and gestured for his son to sit down. Loki seated himself on a chair opposite his hostling and felt insignificant compared to Pellaz. Loki’s defenses were normally tightly in place, but for some reason, they were down and Pellaz was able to sense some of his son’s turmoil. Something had upset Loki.

 

“Can I ask you a question?” Loki shifted uncomfortably on the chair. He would have preferred to stand, but he seldom went against Pellaz’ wishes.

 

Nodding, Pellaz had a feeling he wouldn’t like the question Loki had for him.

 

“Do you hate me?” Seeing the deep frown on Pellaz’ face, Loki explained. “I am not the heir you always wanted. I was wondering if you hated hosting my pearl? Having me?”

 

Pellaz couldn’t believe he was hearing this. “Why would you think that?”

 

Loki moistened his lips and wrung his hands nervously. “Rue and Velaxis are thrilled to be having a harling, but for some reason I think you hated having me.”

 

“What makes you think that?” Pellaz wanted to get to the bottom of the matter.

 

Loki couldn’t believe he was actually telling his hostling his innermost thoughts. “You were always so distant when I was a harling. At times, I was afraid to approach you because…because you always seemed so angry with me.”

 

Drawing in a deep breath, Pellaz prayed for patience and calm. “Loki, you are my son. I love you.”

 

“Maybe now, but I don’t believe you loved me when I was young. I always went to Cal or Rue for hugs and kisses. I never got them from you. You always kept me at a distance, as if you despised me.”

 

Pellaz could no longer sit there and listen to Loki say such things. He rose from his chair and rounded his desk, stopping in front of Loki. He pulled his son to his feet and hugged him. “I am sorry that I was a bad hostling. I had personal problems. It was hard for me to look at you because you always reminded me of the fact that I had betrayed Cal by loving Galdra.”

 

Loki’s pulse quickened and he gasped at his hostling’s admission. “I only wanted you to hold me and do the silly things Cal did. But you would glare at me whenever I approached.”

 

Pellaz’ heart felt heavy as his mistakes came back to haunt him. “I know I wronged you, Loki, but I wasn’t angry with you. I hated myself at the time. I couldn’t forgive myself for falling for Galdra and that he had made me with pearl. Please, Loki… I do love you.” He hugged his son tighter, regretting all the times that he had turned Loki away or had sent him to Cal or Rue to be hugged. “I know I can never make amends, but maybe you will find it in your heart to forgive me one day.”

 

Loki pulled back so he could look his hostling in the eye. “Did you ever forgive yourself?”

 

The Tigron bowed his head and closed his eyes. “I did, thanks to Cal, but it took me years to understand that I’d had no choice in the matter. It was destiny that Galdra and I fell in love. Cal helped me accept that. I have much to thank him for.”

 

Loki hugged his hostling back. “I wanted to have this when I was a harling. Rue and Cal showered me with love, but you are my hostling. I wanted you to hug me or rock me when I was scared in the dark. I wanted you to cover my face with kisses. Rue did that, but… I wanted it to be you instead. I still want it to be you.”

 

Pellaz had to fight back his tears. Until that day, he hadn’t fully realized how much he had wronged Loki in the past. “I always tried to love you. It wasn’t your fault that I couldn’t reach out to you. I am sorry that I vented my anger at you.” Pellaz placed his hands on either side of Loki’s hand and looked his son in the eye. The words and actions might be years late, but he was determined to do this.

 

“I love you, Loki,” he said and pressed a kiss onto his son’s brow. “I always thought that the dehara had punished me by making me with pearl, but I didn’t realize the truth until I talked to Galdra one day.” Pellaz kissed first Loki’s right temple and then his left. His son’s eyes were filling with tears and he had to continue before they were both sobbing. “Galdra told me that you are our reward for defeating Ponclast. It took me a while to understand that. Galdra and I… We finally sorted things out and I am happy you sprang forth from our aruna.” Pellaz kissed the crown of his son’s head and then pulled him close.

 

Loki had never thought this would happen when he had sought out his hostling and the experience overwhelmed him. “I love you too, Pellaz. I always did. You are my hostling.”

 

Pellaz was determined to show Loki how precious his son was to him as long as he lived.

 

~~~

 

“How is he? Did he wake up while I was gone?” Cobweb advanced on the bed and looked questioningly at Ashmael, who was still keeping a vigil at the bed.

 

“We talked for a while. I told him who you are and what Forever is and I coaxed him into touching me. He did well.” Ashmael looked fondly at the sleeping har.

 

Cobweb studied Ashmael closely. He wondered about the affectionate expression on the other har’s face. “Snake and I discussed repairing Silver’s eye sight.”

 

“I was hoping you would. He suffers because he is blind. He told me that he only lost it a few years ago so he knows what our world looks like. It is harsh to keep him blind and in the dark like that.”

 

“Snake and I will hold our private Grissecon when the moon is full.” Taking aruna with Silver in order to heal him was out of the question. Silver was still too emotionally messed up for that. “Did he eat anything?”

 

“Some crackers.” Ashmael vacated his chair so Cobweb could take his place. “I am going for a walk and then I will get some sleep, but feel free to wake me if you need me to sit with him.” Ashmael didn’t want to leave, but knew he had to rest.

 

“I will remember your offer,” Cobweb promised and placed his hands on Silver’s chest above the blanket. It was time to give the younger har more healing.

 

~~~

 

“You seem troubled.” Cal’s fingers wandered down Pellaz’ shoulder and the Tigron frowned. Pellaz had been remarkably quiet during dinner and had remained silent even after they had taken off their clothes and climbed between the covers. “Are you going to tell me voluntarily or am I going to have to make you?”

 

Pellaz sighed, turned his face toward Cal, and raised a hand to touch the blond har’s face. “I had a run in with my past today and I didn’t particularly like it.”

 

Cal’s lips inched closer to Pellaz. “Share breath with me?” In that way Pellaz wouldn’t have to say the words aloud.

 

“I am not sure I want to. I feel ashamed.” Pellaz caressed Cal’s face and tried to avert his gaze. “I really messed up.”

 

“No, you didn’t. I am responsible for any messes you make. Let me see…” Cal leaned in closer and shared breath with a somewhat reluctant Pellaz. The lines on his brow deepened when he witnessed the conversation Pellaz had had with Loki. He released Pellaz’ lips and gave his chesnari a thoughtful look. “We all make mistakes, Pell.”

 

“Yes, but Loki got hurt because I couldn’t get my priorities straight.” Pellaz turned onto his side away from Cal.

 

Cal ran his fingertips along Pellaz’ upper arm. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. You were played too.” They hadn’t realized that until recently. “Certain forces wanted Galdra and you together and you… You always remained a bit too human, Pell. You cling to your so-called guilt when you don’t have to feel guilty at all.” He moved closer and wrapped his arms around Pellaz. “I know you love Loki. It is a pity that you weren’t able to show it at the time, but it wasn’t easy for you, having Galdra’s pearl. Once Loki is old enough to understand that, he will get it.”

 

“He is old enough, Cal. He gets it.” Pellaz lay his head down on Cal’s arm and pressed back against his chesnari. “He is right, Cal. I hated hosting.”

 

Cal laughed. “You hate hosting period. I don’t think it would have made a difference if you had been hosting my pearl instead. You turned into a real bitch.” Cal’s tactic worked as Pellaz smiled gingerly. “Want to find out? I can make you with pearl if you want?” He hoped Pellaz wouldn’t call his bluff, but he was fairly sure his chesnari would refuse. Pellaz wasn’t breeding stock material. He had really hated hosting.

 

“No!” Startled, Pellaz turned around in the embrace. “Never again!”

 

Cal giggled. “So if we are ever to have a son I will have to play hostling?” Pellaz settled in the embrace again and gave him a loving look. “Oh no,” he whispered as he saw the diabolical gleam in the dark eyes. “I am not hosting...yet.”

 

“Didn’t you offer just now?” Pellaz enjoyed playing along, but then took pity on Cal. “Don’t worry. I have no desire to father another pearl.” He didn’t want another unfortunate har being forced into their family.

 

Cal buried his fingers in Pellaz’ hair and then clawed the strands. “Pell, in the future, I might want another harling.”

 

“You are joking, right?” Pellaz was stunned. “But our sons… I don’t believe we are fit parents. Look at what happened to our sons!”

 

“Calm down.” Cal used the hold he had on Pellaz’ hair to pull his chesnari’s face closer. “What happened to Darq was most unfortunate and with Abrimel and Loki we made mistakes, but we learned from them and I am convinced we would do everything right if we had another harling.”

 

Pellaz looked horrified. “Cal, I am in no way ready for another harling.” He was just trying to recover from all the mistakes he had made where Loki was concerned!

 

“I said in the future, Pell. Not now.” Cal hadn’t thought discussing this would upset Pellaz so much, but it had probably everything to do with his timing. He shouldn’t have brought it up after Pellaz had had that conversation with Loki. “Don’t worry about it.” Cal had been in the mood for aruna before their conversation had started, but settled for holding Pellaz close and kissing his temple. He held his chesnari close throughout the night and guarded Pellaz’ sleep.

 

~~~

 

The next morning, Pellaz tried to eat breakfast while still suffering from a headache brought on by Cal telling him about wanting to host at some point. His stomach however didn’t exactly comply. He had never thought he would have heard Cal say that he wanted to host again someday!

 

“Here, you will love reading this.” Vaysh entered the breakfast room and dropped a tabloid onto Pellaz’ lap. “Guess who was overheard on their night out?” He sat down next to Pellaz and helped himself to a large breakfast. It had taken him some time to get used to the idea that Phade actually wanted him to put on some weight. So he had studied himself in front of the mirror and had agreed to add a few pounds, but only a few. To his surprise, Phade was a har who liked to hold onto something during aruna and that shouldn’t just be skin and bones.

 

An apprehensive feeling swept over Pellaz as he studied the cover of the tabloid.

 

‘Secret is out – Velaxis is hosting the Tigrina’s pearl!’ The subtitle was, ‘Can’t our Tigrons father their own pearls anymore? Read it all here!’

 

Pellaz groaned. This meant he had to make an official statement...or rather he would let Tharmifex make one. “It was only a matter of time before they would find out.” Pellaz grinned at seeing the accompanying picture. At least Rue and Velaxis had had a good time at the club. He dropped the tabloid onto the floor and then looked at Vaysh, who was eating his toast and eggs with relish. The formerly gaunt features were filling out nicely, adding round touches to Vaysh’s appearance. Pellaz liked it. “Please tell me that Phade and you aren’t thinking about hosting. One harling is enough.” Velaxis’ son would keep them busy if the harling took after his father and hostling.

 

Vaysh almost choked on his tea. “No, we are not.” He wiped his mouth, placed the knife onto the plate, and peeked at Pellaz. “Are you?”

 

Pellaz shook his head. “But apparently Cal is. His admission last night took me by surprise. Vaysh, he wants to host some day in the future.”

 

Vaysh smiled lovingly at Pellaz. “Why is that a bad idea?”

 

“I am not any good at raising harlings.” Pell’s dark mood reappeared. “I made too many mistakes.”

 

“Maybe the next time around you won’t make them.” Vaysh resumed eating breakfast. “Don’t worry all the time!”

 

Pellaz stared in Vaysh in disbelief. It was hard to believe that this was the same Vaysh who had been gloomy and distant for so many years.

 

TBC

 

Part 3

 

Silver felt frustrated. So far all he had done was eat, sleep, and talk to these strange hara. Normally he would have long been set to work – whatever work they had for him. But these hara just wanted him to lie in bed and talk.

 

Snake sensed his charge’s unrest, but couldn’t do much about it. Although Silver’s body had started to heal, he didn’t want the blind har going about the house and hurting himself because he couldn’t see where he was going. Also, he reasoned that some rest would do Silver good after having been abused for years. But he could try to distract the young har. “Would you like to live here after you’ve made a full recovery? Cobweb and I would like for you to stay and I believe Ashmael as well would like for you to become a permanent resident here.” To his surprise, Snake noted that Silver had frozen during his little speech.

 

“And what must I do in return?” Beneath the blanket the young har ran his fingertips over his abused wrists. Although the restraints were gone, the flesh remembered the presence and the skin remained marred.

 

Snake carefully choose his words as he replied, “You can help the kitchen staff if you like. Or Cobweb with doing his bookkeeping. Or, if you desire so, I can help you become a healer.”

 

None of the things Snake mentioned were chores his former owners had wanted him to do. “What about other…methods of payment?”

 

Snake smiled saddened. He could tell from probing Silver’s mind that the other har still felt lost and intimidated, but Silver was starting to ask him questions. The other har no longer waited to be addressed and his replies and questions were more elaborate now. They were making progress. “No other payment will do.”

 

Silver felt confused and it showed on his face when he raised his head and tried to look at Snake. “May I speak freely?”

 

“Always!” Snake moved closer to the bed and claimed Silver’s hand. Silver no longer tried to pull the limb away and patiently endured the touch.

 

“When I was staying at the musenda the hara there made me take aruna with them.” He shivered in remembrance. “They didn’t care that I said no and you… Are you now telling me that nohar is going to force me in that way ever again? Or keep me chained and locked up? I find that hard to believe.”

 

Standing in the doorway, Cobweb inclined his head and listened to their conversation. He understood why Silver had a hard time believing that. During Silver’s sleep, Snake and he had ventured into the younger har’s mind and had seen brutal scenes. Ponclast himself had shown an interest in the harling when Silver hadn’t even reached feybraiha and being subjected to pelki at that young an age had scarred Silver.

 

“It is true,” Snake answered eventually. “We will never force you, except maybe to eat.” Silver’s black gaze made him uncomfortable and he looked questioningly at Cobweb. 

 

Once Snake’s attention was no longer focused on him, Silver followed its direction and sensed Cobweb close by. During the time he had been there he had tried to find their hidden agenda, but he was beginning to understand that they didn’t have any. Accepting that fact was a different matter however.

 

Cobweb approached the bed and sat down on the edge while studying Silver. The blanket had dropped, revealing their charge’s chest. The skin there had finally recovered from the piercings and even the nipples had healed. Pleased, Cobweb smiled, but the smile faded again. The skin which had suffered due to the collar and restraints refused to bounce back. “In seven days the moon will be full.”

 

Silver blinked at that statement. What was he supposed to say to that?

 

“When the moon is full, aruna magic is at its strongest,” Cobweb explained. “Snake and I will hold a little private Grissecon.” Silver had never heard that word before and didn’t know what to make of it. Snake noticed this and added, “Grissecon is a way to work magic, Silver. We will use it to restore your eyesight.”

 

Silver gasped at that. “My eyesight? But they said…” They had told him that his eyesight was gone forever and that nohar could restore it!

 

“They lied,” Cobweb replied. “They lied to keep you down.” Seeing the shock on Silver’s face, Cobweb realized that the young har needed a moment to deal with the revelation. “Snake and I are convinced that we can restore your eyesight. You will be able to see again.”

 

Unexpectedly, the dam that had been keeping Silver’s emotions in check broke and tears left the burned eyes. “But…” He couldn’t believe them – couldn’t believe that they were actually giving him hope. He would love to be able to see again! His world had become so dark, so gloomy and unreliable after he had lost his eyesight!

 

Cobweb gathered Silver in a loose embrace and held the younger har while he wept. “I am sorry that we have to wait another week, but it is safest this way. Our magic will be strong then.”

 

“I will endure another week of darkness,” Silver muttered under his breath. He was still trying to accept that his life was about to change again. Not only had he found a home with these good hara, they were also going to give him his eyesight back!

 

~~~

 

“Loki?” Pellaz remained standing near the doorway until he was certain he wasn’t intruding. He had waited for Geb to leave so he could talk to his son in private. The conversation he’d had with Loki continued to distract him and he needed to speak to his son again.

 

Loki was surprised, but pleased that Pellaz was visiting him and hurried over to his hostling’s side. “Please come inside,” he said and pulled Pellaz toward the comfortable couch on which he and Geb had already spent many pleasurable hours. “I didn’t expect you to drop by.” They sat down and Loki looked at Pellaz in excitement.

 

Pellaz smiled and patted his son’s hair. “I want to talk to you, Loki, about what happened recently.”

 

Loki’s smile faded. “Did you reconsider your words?”

 

“Of course not!” Pellaz ruffled his son’s hair and then uncovered an item from deep within the folds of his robes. “I want you to have something.”

 

Loki felt somewhat reassured and looked at the item resting in the palm of his hostling’s hand. He recognized it. In the past, Pellaz had always worn the necklace. Only recently had his hostling taken to keeping it in a box instead. He knew it was precious to Pellaz. “That’s the eye that Orien gave you.” Suddenly he blinked. Did Pellaz really say that he wanted Loki to have it?

 

Pellaz lifted his son’s fair hair and then slid the necklace into place around his son’s neck. “I know I can’t go back and right my wrongs, but I can be a better hostling in the future. I want you to have this, Loki. I hope it tells you how much I love you.” He had never intended to give Orien’s eye to anyhar, but now it seemed only fitting that Loki should have it. “It was my companion during many dark years… May it bring you love and happiness someday.”

 

Loki’s fingers trembled as they reached up to stroke the pendant. “You don’t have to do this. I know how much this pendant means to you.”

 

“You mean more to me, Loki. I regret that I was so bad at showing you that in the past.” Pell’s arms went around Loki’s shoulders and he hugged his son close. “I won’t make that mistake again.”

 

~~~

 

The first thing Ashmael noticed upon entering Silver’s room was the other har’s restlessness. Since his body had healed, being confined to bed must have gotten to Silver, who hadn’t left the bed in over a week. “Getting restless?” Ashmael stood next to the bed and considered his options.

 

“Ashmael…” Silver recognized the voice and the other har’s mind and smiled at him. “I am not used to being in bed all day.”

 

“Well,” Ashmael drew out the word. “Maybe we can go for a short walk if you feel up to it?” Cobweb would probably get angry with him for doing that since the dark-haired har wanted to keep Silver confined to bed until his eyesight had been restored. Ashmael however wasn’t sure that was the best thing for Silver.

 

“Can I?” Excited, Silver shifted in bed. “I will behave,” he promised. “I will do anything you say.”

 

Ashmael reached for the clothes which Snake had brought along the other day. “You should dress first. We don’t want you running around naked.” The frown that appeared on Silver’s brow made Ashmael blink in surprise. “Don’t tell me they made you do that?”

 

Silver shrugged and relished being able to do so without a collar or restraints biting into his skin due with the movement. “They had easier access that way.” He grew silent after that and bowed his head, once more very much aware of how different his situation was in Forever.

 

Ashmael’s hands relaxed from the claws that they had become a moment before. Calmly, he selected a blue shirt and some jeans for Silver and helped the other har dress himself. “Let me see what I can do about all that hair.” Silver’s hair was even longer than his and might get in the way. Silver patiently waited for him to proceed. In the end, Ashmael found a leather band which he used to tie Silver’s hair loosely in a pony tail. They had actually managed to wash the silver-blond hair the other day and it had been quite a struggle. He didn’t think Silver had ever had his hair cut. “Better,” he announced, pleased.

 

Silver wanted to rise from the bed, but Ashmael stopped him. “Wait…you need shoes…” He rummaged about in the closet and found comfortable house shoes that belonged to Cobweb. “You won’t win any beauty pageant, but this should do.” Once Silver had put the house shoes on his feet, Ashmael took a step back to examine his handy work. “Let’s get you to your feet.” He took hold of Silver’s arm in case the young har couldn’t stand unaided yet.

 

Silver swayed briefly but then gained his footing. Keeping his head bowed, he concentrated on Ashmael’s presence.

 

“I will guide you.” Ashmael curled an arm around Silver’s waist. “I won’t let you run into anything.” Silver actually smiled and Ashmael gasped. “That is the first time I have seen you smile.” It saddened him that Silver had had no reason to smile in his life yet.

 

“You are very kind to me and concerned. It is not something I am used to.”

 

“You had better get used to it. We will spoil you rotten.” Ashmael guided Silver into the corridor and with each step they took, he told Silver which items surrounded him or how the corridor looked. They walked slowly since he didn’t want to exhaust Silver and went into the sun room. “This is one of Cobweb’s favorites,” he said and helped Silver sit down amidst a sea of pillows. “You rest for a moment and I will fetch tea.”

 

Silver didn’t want Ashmael to leave since he felt safer with the other har close, but he nodded at any rate. It wasn’t his place to tell Ashmael what to do. He listened to the fading foot falls and then grew aware of the sun which was traveling up his face. Closing his eyes, he enjoyed feeling the warm rays on his skin.

 

Ashmael returned a few minutes later carrying a tray which held the tea pot, their cups, and some cake. He hoped Cobweb wouldn’t have a fit once the other har found Silver’s bed empty. It might have been wise to tell Cobweb that he was taking Silver for a walk. He could still do that using mind touch, but would Cobweb want him to touch his mind uninvited? In the end, Ashmael reached out to Cobweb. /Silver and I are in the sun room. He felt strong enough to go for a walk./

 

Cobweb’s reply was instant. /Are you mad? He needs rest!/

 

/He was crawling up the walls, Cobweb! I will take good care of him. Please have a little faith in me!/ Although he still felt Cobweb’s displeasure at having his advice ignored, Ashmael got permission. /I will be careful,/ he added. /I will return him to his room in an hour./

 

/I will be there. You had better not be late, Ash!/

 

Once he had taken care of that, Ashmael placed the tray on the floor and poured tea. He let it cool before he handed Silver his cup. Studying the younger har, Ashmael realized that Silver was excited, although he was trying hard not to let it show. “You will like living here,” he commented. “Forever is a lovely place.”

 

Silver sipped his tea and then wondered if he would be allowed to ask Ashmael a question.

 

Sensing the curiosity in Silver’s mind, Ashmael leaned in closer and inquired, “What do you want to know?”

 

“Why did they take me in? Cobweb and Snake? I can’t find any reason why they would want me here.” He had racked his brain and had come up with nothing.

 

On his guard, Ashmael felt that Cobweb should answer that question. “I am afraid only Cobweb knows the answer to that. He agreed to take in you in. Ask him.”

 

Silver had hoped for an answer, but at the same time hadn’t really counted on Ashmael to give him one. “Do you think it is safe for me to do that? To question him since he is the master of Forever?” What if being asked that displeased Cobweb?

 

Ashmael curled his fingers around Silver’s when the hand holding the tea cup started to shake. “Cobweb is your friend and protector. You need not fear him.”

 

“I never had a friend or somehar who wanted to protect me.” Silver trembled as Ashmael’s hand steadied his. This touch was so different from the ones which had been forced upon him in the past and, to his shock, he realized that he liked Ashmael touching him like that.

 

It was only normal for Silver to react that way, Ashmael reasoned. The har had only known pain and abuse and since he was being cared for it was only normal that he wanted to experience more of those warm feelings. Ashmael didn’t worry about it.

 

~~~

 

On their way back to his room, Silver suddenly came to a standstill. His mind was picking up on something, but he wasn’t sure what it was. “What is in that room over there?”

 

Ashmael didn’t like that question. “That’s Terzian’s study.” Cobweb had kept it the way it had been the last time Terzian had been in there. To Ashmael’s knowledge, Cobweb seldom went in there, respecting Terzian’s ghost, which Cobweb was convinced haunted the study.

 

“Who is Terzian?” Had he heard that name before? Silver wasn’t sure.

 

“Terzian was the first master of Galhea and Cobweb was his consort. Terzian died some time ago.”

 

“I’ve heard that name before…”

 

Ashmael’s heart missed a beat and he grew worried.

 

“Ponclast mentioned his name a few times… Maybe he even visited Ponclast.” The years he had served Ponclast had been the worst of his life and he had effectively locked out his memories regarding that time.

 

For once, Ashmael felt lost and didn’t know how to handle the situation, fearing more revelations.

 

Silver however was lost in his own thoughts and didn’t sense Ashmael’s discomfort. “I hate Ponclast,” he said eventually. “That har hurt me. I was only a harling at the time.”

 

Ashmael didn’t want to ask his next question, but he had to. At the edge of his mind he sensed that Cobweb was listening in on their conversation. “Did you ever meet Terzian?” The thought that Terzian might have abused his own son filled Ashmael – and Cobweb – with horror and both hara hoped that Silver would answer negatively.

 

“I don’t think I did. I might have…” Silver shrugged. “I didn’t feel well at that time. I was always being given something bitter to drink when Ponclast was entertaining visitors. My memories are shady at best.”

 

Both Ashmael and Cobweb cringed. It sounded like Silver had been drugged and only Ponclast knew what had happened afterwards. Maybe if Cobweb went into Silver’s mind he would discover what had happened to the harling, but if Silver’s memories were too sketchy Cobweb would fail.

 

Ashmael quickly led Silver away from Terzian’s study. /Keep that room locked up,/ he told Cobweb in mind touch.

 

Cobweb would do just that. He didn’t want Silver to venture into Terzian’s study either. He let go of Ashmael’s mind and became aware of his surroundings again. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor of their bedroom and Snake was kneeling at his side. His chesnari kept repeating his name. “Sorry if I worried you,” Cobweb murmured and reached up to touch Snake’s face.

 

“I saw what happened,” Snake commented calmly. “What are you going to do when Silver asks you why you took him in? Are you going to tell him the truth? I am not sure that is wise.”

 

“I agree.” Cobweb sighed. He felt distressed. “I wanted to tell him why I had taken him in, but now I wonder if I shouldn’t just make something up. If he knows Terzian...remembers his foul deeds and then finds out he is his son… Oh, Snake, what if Ponclast gave Silver to Terzian? You know the depths they descended to.”

 

“We shouldn’t think like that.” Snake stroked Cobweb’s back in an effort to calm his chesnari. “Not until we are certain.”

 

“What *do* we tell him then? Silver is bound to ask me shortly since he tried to get the information from Ashmael. He is growing stronger and feels more comfortable around us.” Which pleased Cobweb, but it might also cause problems.

 

Snake suddenly grabbed hold of Cobweb’s arms and shook him. “I have an idea!”

 

~~~

 

Silver reclined into the pillows and closed his eyes. Except for the odd moment when they had passed by Terzian’s study, he had enjoyed their walk. And he had enjoyed Ashmael’s presence.

 

“You can rest for one hour until it is time for dinner. Maybe I can convince Cobweb to have it in the dining room.” Ashmael wanted to encourage Silver to leave the bed and move about. It would empower the younger har.

 

“I would like that…” Silver mumbled as he drifted off into sleep.

 

Ashmael merely smiled. Like Silver, he had enjoyed their walk too.

 

~~~

 

“Paran? Can I have a word with you?” Vaysh hoped no one had seen him enter Paran’s office. Phade didn’t know he was visiting Paran and Vaysh wanted to keep it that way.

 

Surprised at the identity of his visitor, Paran nodded his head once. “How can I be of service, tiahaar Vaysh?” Like most hara at Pellaz’ court, it had taken him time to get used to this new Vaysh.

 

“Is it true that you talked to Ashmael recently when you visited Forever?”

 

Paran arched an eyebrow. How did Vaysh know about his visit? But then again, Vaysh had always had his network of spies. “I did.”

 

“Did he appear…well?” Vaysh fought the urge to wring his hands. He didn’t want to appear desperate in front of Paran.

 

“He looked quite well.” Paran wondered what this was about.

 

“Do you plan on visiting Forever again soon?” Vaysh had long debated with himself over his current plan. In the end, his concern for Ashmael had won.

 

Paran nodded. He was planning to visit Forever to check on Silver’s well-being.

 

“Would you give Ashmael this?” From the folds of his robes Vaysh produced a letter, sealed with old-fashioned wax. He had written it without Phade’s knowledge and it made him feel guilty, but he didn’t want to share this with Phade. Not yet at any rate.

 

Paran accepted the letter. “I will deliver it to him. Any other messages you want me to deliver, tiahaar?”

 

Vaysh shook his head. “No, the letter will do. Thank you, Paran.” Quickly, he turned around and fled the room, scared and hopeful at the same time of the reply he would get.

 

~~~

 

Silver gripped Ashmael’s arm in acceptance of the aid and together they made their way into the dining room. He was happy that Cobweb and Snake had agreed to have dinner there. He hated lying idly in bed. With Ashmael’s help, Silver sat down and placed his hands on the table.

 

Cobweb sat down to Silver’s right while Ashmael took a seat to the blind har’s left. That way, they could help him should the need arise. “Let me show you where you can find everything.” Cobweb took hold of Silver’s hand and helped him locate his plates, the glass with water, and the plates that held food.

 

“I think I have it,” Silver said, feeling grateful that Cobweb had shown him. It was nice to know he could help himself. The speed with which he was accepting his new life frightened him in a way. He was trying hard to forget all the horrible things that the Varrs had done to him in the past, but in the back of his mind he was still afraid Cobweb might reconsider and throw him out. He doubted he would be able to take care of himself as long as he was blind.

 

Unable to enjoy the food as long as Silver didn’t ask him why the mystic had taken him in, Cobweb brought the matter up himself in the end. “You must be wondering why I gave you a home.”

 

Silver looked up and inclined his head. “I do. I asked Ashmael, but he told me to ask you instead.” His insides fluttered since his question was about to be answered. His hand twitched and suddenly warm fingers surrounded his fingers. It was Ashmael reaching out to him. “Why did you take me in? I mean no disrespect, but I don’t understand why you care about me.”

 

Cobweb gave Ashmael a thoughtful look. /Just play along./

 

Ashmael nodded, surprised to receive that message.

 

“Did you know that the Varrs had breeding facilities?” Cobweb took hold of Silver’s free hand and tried to reach out to Silver mentally.

 

Silver was surprised that Cobweb was brushing against his mind, but he allowed it like he always did. “Ponclast mentioned something like that once.”

 

Cobweb swallowed hard. This was the hard part. “You were born in one. The har that hosted your pearl lived in a breeding facility. Did you ever notice the number tattooed on your neck?”

 

Silver shrugged. “Most hara I know have one.”

 

“It is not natural. They tattooed you so that they could link you to your father and hostling.” Cobweb twisted the truth a little in an effort to make it easier on Silver, but he spoke the truth when he added, “Your hostling’s name was Calla.”

 

“Calla,” Silver repeated the name and made it his own. “I didn’t know that.” But it still didn’t explain why Cobweb had taken him in.

 

Cobweb tightened his shields and tried to sound as convincing as he could at the same time when he said, “I am your father, Silver. I fathered your pearl.”

 

Ashmael’s eyes widened, but apart from that, no other reaction showed. At first, he felt confused, but then understood why Cobweb had done that. Cobweb didn’t want Silver to be burdened by the fact that one of Ponclast’s vile companions was his father.

 

Silver blinked in confusion. “You are my father?” He hadn’t expected that!

 

Snake reached for Cobweb’s hand and squeezed it. Cobweb had to continue now.

 

“Yes. I was young and didn’t really know what the Varrs were up to. If I had known I would not have taken part in their project. I would have fathered a pearl with a har I loved.”

 

“You didn’t love Calla?”

 

“I barely knew him. We only visited the breeding facility for a short time.” Once Cobweb had started his tale, he found it easy to continue and make things up as he went along. “He was a kind har as far as I know – the perfect hostling.”

 

Silver looked away and tried to deal with all the different emotions coursing through him. “You are my father? That’s the reason you took me in?”

 

“After the fighting had ended and Ponclast was defeated I asked Paran to search for the pearls. I wanted to know what had happened to them. So far, you are the only har he managed to locate. Four of your brothers are dead and one remains elusive. I am afraid you are the only one who survived.” Cobweb frightened himself with the ease he was weaving lies and truth together. “That’s why I want to take you in. You are my son.” He had adopted Tyson so why not adopt Silver as well? He had always wanted more sons.

 

“And your chesnari… Snake…he doesn’t mind?” Silver looked in the direction he suspected Snake was in.

 

Snake’s heart went out to the younger har. “If Cobweb hadn’t wanted to take you in, I would have.”

 

Silver accepted Snake’s declaration. What else could he do? He was much too happy to have found his father and to have gained a family at that.

 

~~~

 

They had settled down in the sun room, which was quickly becoming Silver’s favorite place to be and Cobweb was trying to explain the structure of Silver’s new family to him. “Swift’s chesnari’s name is Seel. They took Moon and Tyson to visit some friends of ours. They should return in a month.” That would give Silver enough time to get to know the house and grow closer to Cobweb. Cobweb didn’t bring up Azriel. His high har was still troubled and staying with healers in Immanion. Azriel was another of Ponclast’s victims. How he hated that har!

 

Ashmael had excused himself when Paran had arrived and asked to talk to him in private before the officer would join them for coffee.

 

“I can’t believe I have a family now.” Silver wished he could see Cobweb. Ashmael had described the har to him, but he wanted to see Cobweb with his own eyes. “You are my father.”

 

Cobweb still regretted that he hadn’t been able to twist the story in such a way that he had ended up being Silver’s hostling. He had much more experience in that department. He raised his arms and pulled Silver close. The younger har rested his upper body against him and Cobweb rubbed Silver’s back. “You have a home here. You can stay here forever.”

 

Snake chuckled and Cobweb realized the word play. “Yes, you can stay forever in Forever.”

 

Relishing the feeling of his father’s arms around him, Silver closed his eyes and failed to hold back his tears. For the first time in his life he was weeping tears of happiness.

 

TBC

 

Part 4

 

Ashmael didn’t know what to make of the letter he was holding in his hands. Paran had told him that Vaysh had asked him to deliver it. Ashmael actually felt apprehensive about breaking the seal and reading it. He went into the garden so he had some privacy and settled down on the porch of the cabin. Breaking the seal, he started to unfold the paper. He instantly recognized Vaysh’s elegant handwriting.

 

Ash, I had to write. I have to tell you something important. In my head I have been going over this letter a hundred times and not even Phade knows I am writing it.

 

You scared me that evening. I was convinced you still wanted me and when you denied me, I couldn’t believe it.

 

Ashmael briefly stopped reading, painfully aware of the fact that this letter had been in Vaysh’s hands only hours ago. It even still carried his former chesnari’ scent.

 

After you left, something unexpected happened. Phade decided to take care of me and took me in. At first, I fought the attraction which I felt for him. I thought I should stay faithful to you, but lately I have realized that my mind played games on me. The truth is that I changed during these last few years and you changed too. I will always love you, don’t doubt that. If you look into your heart I am convinced you will see that too, although I am not sure you will also accept it.

 

Ash, I am in love with Phade. The feelings I have for him are strong. I guess they have been there for years. You didn’t know this, but I have known Phade for a while. When I was caring for Pellaz after he had been remade, we stayed at Phade’s tower. Back then, Phade infuriated me. He wouldn’t stop harassing me and I didn’t know how to act toward him. Only since I have been healed did I realize I liked him even back then.

 

I have been talking to Pellaz and both he and Phade have made me see that my destiny lies with Phade. We haven’t become chesna yet, although I know Phade wants that. *You* are holding me back. My guilt is holding me back.

 

Maybe I shouldn’t have asked Paran to give you this letter, but it is too late now. For some reason I need to give you one last chance. If you really want me and think that being together is right for us, let me know. I will give you another chance. But if you think that our destiny lies with other hara, then let me know too.

 

I am fighting tears here, Ash. I feel torn. A part of me loves you so deeply that it hurts, but another part is telling me that I need to move on and that my destiny lies with Phade. I am a coward, Ash, and I need you to make this decision for me, maybe absolve me of my guilt. Please don’t hate me…

 

Ashmael’s fingertips brushed along the paper. Vaysh had pressed deeper into the paper there and some of Vaysh’s distress still stuck to the paper.

 

Either set me free or come and claim me, Ash. Please end this.

 

Ashmael inhaled the evening’s cool air and read the letter again, but this time he read between the lines and realized what Vaysh really needed from him. Vaysh needed him to set him free and give his blessing so he could become chesna with Phade. Ashmael folded the paper and then stared at the sky. Stars sparkled and a silver moon had made its appearance in the heavens. He had no right to keep Vaysh back. Ever since Cobweb had helped him clean out his anger, he knew that their destinies no longer lay with each other. They had set foot on paths that would guide them to different hara.

 

Ashmael rose from the bench and went into his room so he could write a reply.

 

My dearest Vaysh,

 

I opened your letter with some trepidation, but once I had read it, I realized that you were right to send it. I concur with the things you said. We need to move on. Cobweb made me see that.

 

Like you, I doubt I can ever stop loving you, but I also realize that we aren’t right for each other any more. These last few years pose a barrier we will never be able to break down. However, I do hope that once we meet again we can start building a friendship. I would like that. You are and always have been a very important part of my life.

 

Vaysh, I set you free. I want you to become chesna with Phade. He sounds like he is a good har and I like the fact that he is taking care of you. Don’t let him slip away.

 

I’m growing emotional writing this letter, but I am glad you contacted me. I have been doing a lot of thinking and realized that if we are to move on, we need to find new common ground. We will try that once I return to Immanion.

 

Sweet Vaysh, please don’t worry about me. We should focus on our own needs for a while. Let Phade pamper you and be assured that Cobweb and Snake are the friends I need to pull me through this.

 

Please be happy with Phade!

 

Ash

 

He checked the letter again and liked the way it sounded. Hopefully Vaysh would understand that this wasn’t an end, but a new beginning...if they both wanted it.

 

~~~

 

Paran was pleased to see the progress Silver had made. He avoided talking about Silver’s life in Fulminir and asked him questions about his new life in Forever. He felt startled though when Silver told him his father’s identity and went to correct the young har, but Cobweb raised an arm just in time to draw his attention.

 

/It is better this way./ Cobweb looked Paran in the eye. /I don’t want him to know it is Terzian who fathered him. Terzian and Ponclast were allies and we know the vile things they did. Let Silver think I am his father. He is happy with that./

 

Paran nodded in acknowledgement. He should have thought of it himself.

 

~~~

 

“Will you take this letter with you and give it to Vaysh?” Ashmael had offered to see Paran off since Silver was still too weak to accompany his savior outside. It also gave Ashmael the chance he needed to hand Paran the letter.

 

Paran tucked the letter into a pocket and searched the General’s face. “Will you stay here for much longer?” The officers missed having their General around.

 

“Yes, I will stay for at least a few weeks. Maybe even a few months. I don’t know yet.” Ashmael had decided to stay as long as Silver was recovering and needed a friend. “You will do fine without me. Ask Cal to take my place.”

 

Paran shook his head. “I am not sure that would be wise.” He mounted his sedu and waved goodbye at Ashmael. A moment later, Paran was gone and Ashmael started back to the house.

 

~~~

 

Vaysh’s hands trembled but he still managed to unfold Ashmael’s letter. He was holding his future in his hands...at least that was the way it felt. Reading the content, his heart thumped heavily in his chest and a fine layer of sweat formed on his brow. His heart grew lighter as he realized that Ashmael had decided to set him free. It was the answer he had hoped for.

 

“Thank you, Ash,” he whispered and kissed the sheet of paper. A candle stood on the desk next to him and he put the letter close to the flame. The fire ate away at the paper and only black ashes remained a moment later. Vaysh walked over to the doorway and closed the door of Pellaz’ office behind him. It was the perfect place for him to be undisturbed and Pellaz didn’t mind.

 

Soundlessly he moved down the corridor and slipped into the apartment he shared with Phade. Since it had become obvious that they would be staying together for a longer period of time, Pellaz had given them more spacious rooms.

 

Phade was seated on the bed and reading through some letters he had received from home that day. Everything was all right and they were managing quite nicely without him. Sensing Vaysh’s presence, he raised his gaze. Vaysh looked lovelier each day. His form was filling out and he wore warmer colors these days. His long still blond hair rested on his shoulders and flowed down his back. Overcome with desire, Phade raised an arm in invitation.

 

Vaysh knelt on the bed and placed his hands on either side of Phade’s head. “My answer is yes, Phade.”

 

Phade blinked. The answer to what question?

 

“I want to become chesna with you.”

 

Phade stared at Vaysh for another minute and then crushed him to his chest. “You make me very happy,” he whispered into Vaysh’s ear. “You just made my dearest wish come true.”

 

Vaysh nestled himself in the embrace and closed his eyes in bliss. In his heart, he knew he had made the right decision.

 

~~~

 

Velaxis had amazed himself concerning the speed with which he had accepted the fact that hara knew he was hosting the Tigrina’s pearl. He had expected sneers and angry looks, but most hara had congratulated him and he had even formally moved into Caeru’s private rooms. The official statement which Pellaz had issued through Tharmifex had helped. The hara knew that Pellaz approved of the pearl.

 

Velaxis moved down the corridor and did his best to escape everyhar’s attention. Some hara were very nosey and tried to coax information from him. After Pellaz had shown him that tabloid, Velaxis had understood the need to be more discrete.

 

That day he was on his way to check with Vaysh. He was under the impression that everything had worked out quite well for Vaysh, but he still wanted to make sure.

 

Vaysh was already expecting Velaxis and showed him inside. Phade had gone out and Vaysh was grateful he could talk to Velaxis in private.

 

“You look well,” Velaxis started their conversation. “Radiant, if I may say so.”

 

Vaysh blushed. “Phade and I take aruna frequently. That helps.”

 

Velaxis grinned. “The two of you look well together. There are no problems between you?”

 

“None whatsoever. He is very accommodating.” Vaysh’s blush deepened. “He likes it when I am ouana too.” He still loved being soume most times, but Phade and he had found a balance in their relationship that he was comfortable with. “May I ask you a question?” He thought he knew the answer, but he needed to hear Velaxis confirm it. He had only started to think about it after Ashmael’s letter had arrived.

 

“What do you wish to know?” Velaxis protectively placed a hand on his abdomen. In one month’s time he would drop the pearl and Rue was driving him mad with insisting that they should prepare by thinking of a name and buying clothes for the harling. Velaxis preferred to take things easy and often had to slow down Caeru.

 

“You said that I was no longer barren. Can I really host or father a pearl?” Vaysh’s fingernails scratched the wood of the armrest.

 

Velaxis nodded, surprised that Vaysh had felt it necessary to ask him that. “You are no longer barren. You can have as many sons as you want. You can host or father pearls.” He suspected the only reason why Vaysh was asking him this was because the other har needed to hear it. “Do you need more information, Vaysh? You know how a pearl is conceived or fathered?”

 

Vaysh coughed, clearly feeling nervous. “I do.”

 

“Did you tell Phade yet about your desire to have sons?” Phade struck Velaxis as the type of har who would welcome harlings. He had done a good job raising the troubled harling Darq.

 

“Not yet. I just recently let myself think about it.” Vaysh felt uncomfortable. “For so long I thought I would never have sons. The idea of making a pearl… It is a fantasy. I am not sure I would make a good hostling though or a father for that matter. I had best not bring it up with Phade.”

 

Velaxis shifted forward on his chair and claimed Vaysh’s hands. “Making a pearl is magic, Vaysh. You tasted Aruhani’s magic once before and he looks kindly upon you. I am sure that any pearl you and Phade would create would add to your life. Don’t be so afraid, Vaysh. I never hosted before and now… Now I am going to drop Rue’s pearl in one month and I am happy about that.”

 

Vaysh peeked at Velaxis’ face. “What does hosting feel like?”

 

Velaxis smiled warmly. “I love it. I might not like delivering it, but I am definitely happy at the moment. Rue talks to the pearl and he even sings softly when he thinks I am asleep. You don’t need to make a pearl tonight, Vaysh, but discussing the matter with Phade is a first step.”

 

Velaxis offered sound council and Vaysh knew it. He just wasn’t sure he could raise a harling and love it the way his son deserved to be loved.

 

~~~

 

Silver couldn’t sleep. Too much information spun in his head even though already two days had passed by since he had learned that Cobweb was his father. Snake, Ashmael, and his father had been at his side almost constantly and even now during the night, Ashmael slept in the same room he was in. The har was stretched out on the couch and snored softly.

 

There was another reason why he was nervous. Cobweb and Snake were going to perform aruna that night, what they called Grissecon, and would come for him once they were done. Silver couldn’t believe that he would see the sun rise in a few hours. It seemed impossible.

 

The snoring stopped and Ashmael sat upright. Silver’s thoughts had woken him and he made his way over to the bed. “Hey, don’t worry. Everything will work out just fine.”

 

Silver raised a hand and Ashmael curled his fingers around it. “Can I ask you for a favor?” Silver had finally realized that he could trust these hara. “Will you hold me? I am scared.”

 

Ashmael sat down on the bed and pulled Silver into his arms. “Why are you scared?”

 

“What if it doesn’t work and I can’t see? I don’t want to be blind for the rest of my life. They gave me hope and I am afraid they will fail.” Silver turned his head and rested it against Ashmael’s chest. “Did you ever work magic in that way?”

 

“No, I didn’t. You need the right har to work such magic.”

 

Silver, sensing a way to distract himself, asked, “You don’t have a chesnari then?”

 

Ashmael was afraid that Silver’s question might make him emotional, but he felt surprisingly calm when he answered, “I had one, a long time ago. We are no longer chesna.”

 

“May I ask what happened?”

 

“We grew apart. He is happy now with somehar else and he deserves that.”

 

“Will you tell me his name?”

 

“His name is Vaysh. Maybe you will even meet him one day.” Ashmael stroked the silver-blond hair. “Did you ever…?” Silver shook his head and Ashmael whispered, “I am sorry.”

 

“I never thought about hara that way,” Silver explained softly. “I associate them with pain and not with pleasure. That only changed after I got here. I sense the love Cobweb and Snake share.” Maybe he even felt envious of them. “It is something I will never have.”

 

Frowning, Ashmael asked, “Why can’t you have that?”

Silver turned his head toward Ashmael and lines of worry appeared on his brow. “After what Ponclast did to me nohar will want me. I am intelligent enough to understand that.”

 

Ashmael blinked. “That wasn’t your fault!”

 

“But it still happened. I will probably live out my life here, far away from our kind.” That was a soothing thought.

 

“I can’t believe you said that!” Ashmael was growing angry. “You are har! You need aruna too!”

 

“Ashmael…” Silver spoke the name slowly, tenderly. “Aruna equals pain for me. Why would I want to take it ever again?”

 

“Because that isn’t the way it is supposed to be.” Ashmael desperately wanted Silver to understand that. “Maybe…”

 

“Maybe what?” Silver raised his head slightly as if he could hear Ashmael’s words before the other har would speak them.

 

“Maybe I can show you what aruna should be like.” Ashmael surprised himself by saying that, but in a way he had seen it coming. He was smitten with Silver and had just lacked the courage to acknowledge it up to that point. “When you are ready of course. Not now.”

 

Silver needed a moment to digest that offer. “You want to take aruna with me? Knowing all the things they did to me?”

 

Ashmael leaned in closer and rested his brow against Silver’s. “I would be honored if you would have me.” He opened his mind and shared his feelings and intentions with Silver.

 

Silver felt too astounded to react. He was still trying to come up with a suitable reply when Snake and Cobweb unexpectedly joined them.

 

“Look at you,” Ashmael commented. “You’re glowing.” A coating of moonlight cocooned Silver’s form in the dark of night. The Grissecon Snake and Cobweb had performed was showing its effect.

 

Cobweb had mixed Snake’s essence with his and had added milk, honey, and some spices to it in the hope that Silver would be able to drink it more easily. He had remembered the recipe from his time when he had still lived with his tribe, the Sulh. “Drink this,” he instructed and knelt beside the bed. Holding his breath, he placed the cup at Silver’s lips.

 

The drink tasted odd, but more vile liquids had been forced down his throat and Silver swallowed. Warmth traveled down his throat and then seemed to spread throughout his body. It was a pleasant, tingling sensation and it caused him to repeatedly blink his eyes.

 

“Close them,” Snake advised as he observed Silver closely.

 

Silver closed his eyes and pressed closer to Ashmael, hoping the magic would work.

 

Ashmael lifted his head and looked questioningly at Cobweb and Snake. Would it work?

 

The glow surrounding Silver intensified and then started to fade. Cobweb, hoping Silver had been healed, moved his head closer to Silver. “How do you feel?”

 

“Warm… My body tingles all over.” Silver didn’t want the sensation to stop, but in the end, it faded. “Can I open my eyes now?”

 

Ashmael sucked in his breath and Cobweb nodded once. “Yes, open them,” Cobweb ordered.

 

Silver’s eye lids fluttered and then opened. For one terrible moment the darkness remained, but then he started to see shapes. There was something in front of him...somehar. He blinked and tried to focus. Then the veil lifted and he was staring into Cobweb’s eyes. “I see you,” he whispered, dazed. Ashmael hadn’t exaggerated when he had called Cobweb a beauty and his eyes bewitching. To Silver, his father’s face was the most beautiful har he had ever seen. “Cobweb?”

 

A tear slid down Cobweb’s face and he quickly brushed it away. He didn’t want to cry during a moment like this, not even when he was crying out of happiness. “It worked.” Pale blue irises had formed and swam in a sea of white. The pupils briefly dilated before they took on their normal shape and Cobweb cupped Silver’s face in his hand.

 

Silver had been afraid he might burst into tears, but he didn’t. He just stared at Cobweb’s face and imprinted the way it looked in his memory.

 

“You should meet Snake too.” Cobweb pulled Snake down next to him and felt excited at seeing Silver’s gaze shift.

 

Silver had a hard time taking everything in. “You are Snake… I had no idea how you looked.”

 

“And then there is Ashmael,” Snake replied. “Look up.”

 

Nothing could have prepared Ashmael for the expression that lay in Silver’s eyes. In the end, he smiled and brushed Silver’s brow with his fingertips. “Now you can put the faces with the names.” It was a stupid thing to say, but it was safe since it wouldn’t cause anyhar to grow even more emotional than they already were.

 

Silver raised his right hand and ran his fingers along Ashmael’s brow. Then he touched the cheekbones and let his fingers trail lower to brush Ashmael’s bottom lip. Ashmael was beautiful too, but in a different way. Where Cobweb and Snake were dark, Ashmael was light.

 

“We will let you rest now. Ashmael can keep you company.” Snake and Cobweb got to their feet. The rituals involving Grissecon had left them unfulfilled and they were looking forward to taking aruna properly. “I will see you in the morning,” Cobweb said and placed a kiss onto Silver’s brow.

 

Silver watched them leave the room and then returned to staring at Ashmael. “I see… I see you…”

 

Ashmael tightened his hold on Silver and rocked him, seeing him safely through this emotional storm as well.

 

~~~

 

Silver was already awake when the sun started to rise the next morning. Somehow, Ashmael had ended up on the bed spooned up behind him and still holding him. Years ago when he had still been Ponclast’s slave, he had never dreamt he would ever experience a day like this. He pressed closer to Ashmael and inhaled the other har’s scent. He couldn’t remember a day when he had been as perfectly happy as that day.

 

Seeing the sun rise was a marvelous sight that brought more tears to his eyes. The red, gold, and orange rays colored his life anew and he wanted nothing more than to watch the sun rise every day of his life. Silver took in his surroundings and realized that the room Cobweb had put him in was old-fashioned, but very comfortable. So, this was Forever.

 

“Do you want to talk? Or do you want me to remain quiet?” Ashmael would understand if Silver didn’t want him to speak at that time. A new world was opening up to the younger har.

 

“You can talk. I don’t mind.” Silver kept his gaze trained on the window and realized he could actually see the trees, pond, and a few birds settling in the treetops. “I think I like Forever.” Although he wanted to look out of the window longer, he turned around to face Ashmael. Once he laid eyes on the blond har again, his heart started to flutter madly. “You don’t look the way I thought you would. You look even better.”

 

Ashmael graciously accepted the compliment and smiled. “I am glad Cobweb’s plan worked. I love seeing your eyes come alive again. I will take you on a tour of the house and the grounds later, if Cobweb will let me.”

 

“Maybe Cobweb can join us? I would love to spend more time with him. I never thought I would find my father let alone be loved by him.”

 

At that moment, Ashmael felt grateful that Cobweb had told Silver that white lie. Having Cobweb as his father made Silver happy. “Sure, we will invite him along.” He would share Silver with Cobweb for now.

 

“Can we leave the bed? I want to see more of Forever.” Since he could look Ashmael in the eye, he felt much more comfortable making requests.

 

“If you feel up to it.” Ashmael regretted letting go, but he sat up and then pushed himself to his feet. Silver, dressed in a white shirt and comfortable black trousers, followed his example. The long silver-blond hair cascaded down his back since Silver had removed the leather thong Ashmael had used to restrain it. Looking about, he followed Ashmael into the corridor, but not before he claimed the other har’s hand. “Stay close please.”

 

Ashmael gave Silver a reassuring smile. “I will.”

 

~~~

 

Silver fell from one surprise into the next as he realized just how large and old Forever was. He fell in love with the house and felt happy knowing he could live there for the rest of his life. This was his home now.

 

Cobweb joined Ashmael and Silver and the three of them went outside. Big-eyed, Silver took everything in and more than once tears shimmered in his eyes. Each time he began to feel overwhelmed either Cobweb or Ashmael reached out to him. Slowly, he grew used to being able to see again. “It is amazing,” he whispered, touching his eyelids. “You really healed my eyes.” Silver had to sit down on the grass and buried his fingers in the earth. “I feel like I have come home,” he said and looked at Cobweb. “Is this really my home now? I can stay?”

 

Cobweb lowered himself onto his heels and placed his right hand on Silver’s shoulder. “You are my son…part of the family… Forever is your home now.” The look Silver gave him showed that the young har was still afraid to believe that was the truth. “You can believe it,” Cobweb said. “You have come home, Silver. Forever is your home too.”

 

Silver took Cobweb’s face in his hands and searched the eyes. Finding only truth there, he flung himself at the older har and wept silently.

 

“You have come home, my son,” Cobweb murmured while stroking Silver’s hair. “You are family now.”

 

TBC

 

Part 5

 

A few weeks later…

 

Rue couldn’t stop pacing. Velaxis was about to drop the pearl and Caeru was beside himself. He had actually allowed Vaysh to be present at Velaxis’ insistence for two reasons. One because Vaysh was considering hosting and it was also Velaxis’ way to ensure Caeru wouldn’t drive himself crazy. Although Vaysh was nervous, he had a calming influence on the Tigrina.

 

“Vel, I am so nervous… How long is it going to take? Oh, don’t squeeze that hard!” Rue tried to free his hand of Velaxis’ claw-like hold. Birthing pearls was painful, Rue knew that from firsthand experience, but that didn’t mean Vel had to crush his hand!

 

“Then shut up, Rue! You are making me nervous in turn!” Velaxis had declined Rue’s suggestion to lie down on the bed. He preferred to walk about and let gravity do its job. “Everything will be over in an hour or so!” He looked at Vaysh pleadingly to distract Rue.

 

Vaysh came to Velaxis’ aid. “I am sure Vel knows best. After all, he knows his body. Is there anything we can do?” he asked the hosting har.

 

“Busy yourself finding a name for the harling… Just leave me alone!” Velaxis would have preferred to birth the pearl without anyone present. Rue could be quite the drama queen if he wanted.

 

“I am sorry. I will behave.” Caeru supported Vel and helped him walk about the room. “This is just a very awkward situation for me. Normally I am the one hosting the pearl.”

 

Vaysh busied himself making tea and then sat down at a distance. He had wanted to be present because he didn’t really know what to expect and hoped that watching Vel drop the pearl would enlighten him. So far, the things he had seen didn’t encourage him to host.

 

Vel twined his fingers with Rue’s and continued to walk. It wouldn’t be much longer. The pearl was moving. “Rue, you need to be ready to catch it.”

 

Caeru paled at hearing that. “Do you mean it is going to happen now?” He looked about frantically and wondered what to do.

 

Velaxis managed a grin. “Just let nature take its course.” He looked down at his body and found that his ouana-lim had retracted into his body. His soume aspect prevailed and it was about time he lay down. “Rue...bed…now.”

 

Unfortunately for Velaxis, Rue was frozen to the spot and it was only thanks to Vaysh’s quick thinking that he made it to the bed before the pain made him collapse.

 

Vaysh eased Velaxis onto his back and then nudged Caeru into action. “Take care of him!”

 

Shame-faced, Caeru sat down on the bed and offered Velaxis his hand again. “Crush it if you want.”

 

Velaxis squeezed Rue’s fingers gently. “I won’t.” Closing his eyes, he focused on the messages his body was sending him and relaxed as well as he could. “It is going to happen now.”

 

Caeru bit his bottom lip as it was now him almost crushing Velaxis’ hand when the pearl finally dropped. Rue stared at it in wonder and then rested a hand on it. “Our pearl, Vel.”

 

Fascinated, Vaysh watched intently, but stayed at a distance since he didn’t want to infringe during such a personal moment.

 

Feeling tired, Velaxis reclined against the headboard. “Rue, give me our pearl.”

 

Caeru carefully picked up the pearl and placed it in Velaxis’ arms. Then, he snuggled up to Vel and rubbed the pearl’s exterior. “Our son, Vel. In a few days, we will get to meet our harling.” Feeling blessed, Caeru kissed Velaxis on the lips and then shared breath with him, lending his chesnari the strength he needed to stay awake and start his recovery. “I still remember the day you came to my rooms and took me to that club. I had no idea what was going to happen.” Rue rubbed his cheek against Velaxis’ shoulder. “Does this mean we are chesna now?”

 

“Do you want us to be?” Velaxis cradled the pearl against his chest and from the corner of his eye, he saw Vaysh sneaking out of the room. He hoped Vaysh wasn’t reconsidering the idea of hosting Phade’s pearl. Velaxis was convinced Vaysh would make a caring and dedicated hostling.

 

“I don’t think Pellaz will mind.” Rue laughed. “It is not like anyone can stop me from having these feelings for you.”

 

“Does that mean I get to stay in your luxurious apartments?”

 

“It means you won’t leave these apartments until our harling has hatched and after that… I will make sure you sleep in my bed each night.”

 

“Sounds lovely,” Velaxis murmured. Fatigue was getting the better of him and his eyes began to close. He drifted off into sleep, trusting Caeru to watch over him and their pearl.

 

~~~

 

Pellaz gracefully brushed his fingers against the shell and congratulated them on their pearl. “You had better be glad it was over quickly.” With Loki it had taken him four hours to drop the pearl. It was one reason why he wasn’t keen on hosting again.

 

“Did you already decide on a name for him?” Cal asked and gave Caeru a wink. “What did you think of? It is probably an impossible name!”

 

“I like Karma,” Caeru replied as he gave Velaxis an adoring look. They hadn’t discussed any names yet, but Vel had assured him he would accept whatever name Rue wanted to give their harling.

 

“Karma… I like it. It is a good name.” Velaxis eyed Cal closely when the blond Tigron stroked the pearl’s exterior.

 

“Karma Har Aralis,” Cal said, naming the pearl properly. “Another addition to our ever expanding family. Which reminds me…Pell?” Cal cocked his head and batted his eye lashes.

 

“Oh no…” Pellaz backed away from Cal. “I said no!”

 

Velaxis and Caeru exchanged a puzzled gaze. Why was Pellaz looking so shocked?

 

“We are not creating a pearl!” Pellaz put his foot down. “Having one harling around is enough! He will keep us busy!”

 

“But Karma will need a companion...another harling he can play with.” Cal wiggled an eyebrow. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to host. I will.”

 

Amused, Rue watched them fight. “Knowing Cal,” he whispered into Vel’s ear. “He will get his way sooner or later.”

 

“Then it will be later!” Pellaz gave Cal a warning look. “Not yet, Cal,” he pleaded. “Not yet.”

 

Cal regretted hurting Pellaz’ feelings. He hadn’t been thinking. He had just wanted to play Pellaz a bit. “I’m sorry,” he said. “We will wait.” First, Pellaz needed to work through the mistakes he had made where Loki and Abrimel were concerned and he respected that.

 

“Maybe you can talk Vaysh into hosting,” Velaxis suggested as he rocked the pearl in his arms. “He seemed interested.”

 

Cal grinned diabolically. Maybe he would.

 

~~~

 

“So, did you reconsider?” Phade eyed Vaysh, who seemed lost in thought. His chesnari had only just arrived in their rooms and was looking dazed. “About the pearl?”

 

Vaysh shook his head to clear it and then shrugged his shoulders. “I haven’t made my mind up yet. Velaxis didn’t appear to be in agony. It was just straining.” He sighed and looked Phade in the eye. “I don’t think I will make a good hostling. I had better not think about it.”

 

Phade moved over to the couch Vaysh was sitting on. “Why would you think that?”

 

“Because no matter how much I love you, I still feel…like there is something missing, Phade. And it might stop me from loving our harling.”

 

Phade shook his head. “Vaysh, you feel like that *because* you want a harling. That is what is missing from your life.”

 

Vaysh blinked. “Do you really think so?”

 

“I am fairly sure.” Phade hugged Vaysh and smiled into the blond hair. “We have time. We don’t have to decide anything now. Let’s just enjoy being chesna and, when you feel the time is right, we will create that pearl. You will be a great hostling.”

 

Vaysh hoped Phade was right because he had realized one thing: he did want to have a harling at some point.

 

~~~

 

Silver had recently discovered a talent he had never known he owned: he was an artist and excelled at drawing. He had already made portraits of Cobweb and Snake and was now working on one of Ashmael. In order to work undisturbed he had retreated into the garden and enjoyed seeing the sun sparkle in different colors in the droplets the fountain.

 

When he had still been able to see, he had never realized what a gift eyesight was, but since he’d had to go without it, he valued it a lot more. Looking at Ashmael gave him pleasure especially. The other har’s presence also made his body react in the strangest ways. Silver didn’t really know how to handle the sensations. He had been at Forever for three months and the house had become his home and Ashmael seemed to belong there too, just like Cobweb and Snake did.

 

His thoughts started to drift off and he smiled when he remembered being introduced to the rest of his family. About a month ago, Swift, Seel, Moon, and Tyson had returned to Forever and Cobweb had introduced him to his family. He still vividly remembered the expression on Swift’s face and at the time, he had wondered if something was wrong. Cobweb and Swift had exchanged looks and Silver thought he had felt them communicate in mind as well, but he hadn’t been able to ‘hear’ what had been said. Swift seemed surprised about the fact that Cobweb was Silver’s *father*, but had then readily accepted him into the family.

 

Moon had been a bit shyer and Tyson had accepted him straight away. The har didn’t seem surprised that he had gained a brother upon his return home. It was only later that Cobweb had explained to him that Tyson wasn’t his harling exactly and why he had adopted him at the time. Hearing the explanation had made Cobweb rise even higher in his regard. It was nice to have a har like Cobweb for a father.

 

Swift had started to befriend him and Silver did his best to get along with everyone. He didn’t know if Swift and Seel knew where he came from or what had happened to him, but he had seen Tyson stare at the marks around his wrists. They had never faded and the scar around his neck still showed as well. He would probably never be rid of them.

 

“You are a good artist,” Cobweb said as he sat down next to Silver. “That drawing bears a striking resemblance to Ashmael.” He had come out there for a reason and was determined to address the matter. “You like Ash, don’t you?”

 

Silver averted his gaze and stared at the drawing. “Yes, I do. Is that a bad thing?”

 

Cobweb sighed. Well, he should consider himself lucky that Silver wasn’t attracted to a har like Cal, who broke hearts wherever he went. “No, it isn’t. I should have seen it coming and in a way I did. So did you talk to him about your attraction?” Silver blushed and Cobweb wondered if the two of them had done more than just talk.

 

“We did, but I am not comfortable talking about this to Ashmael.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because… He thinks aruna is all about pleasure and feeling great. I don’t. Each time I was forced into aruna it hurt.” Silver shrugged. “He says I need aruna to stay healthy, but I don’t believe him.”

 

Cobweb cringed. This was more complicated than he had thought. “Ash is right. Aruna is about pleasure. What you experienced was a travesty of the act. Pelki equals rape and that is what you lived through.”

 

Shaking his head, Silver met Cobweb’s gaze. “I can’t believe a har can find pleasure in that act.”

 

It had been Cobweb’s intention to warn Silver to not have aruna with Ashmael yet since only three months had passed by since they had met, but now he reconsidered. Maybe he should encourage Silver instead. In one aspect Ashmael was right. Silver was har and needed aruna. He had to understand that he had never taken aruna in the correct way. That in itself would heal a lot of the younger har’s emotional hurt. Cobweb *had* noticed that Silver either avoided being in the same room with the rest of the family or acted so friendly that he couldn’t possibly offend anyhar. “Maybe you should find out yourself.”

 

Cobweb’s suggestion made Silver cringe and he looked away. “I am sorry… I don’t think I ever want to feel such pain again.” He swallowed convulsively and asked, “Are you going to make me take aruna with Ashmael?”

 

Shocked, Cobweb’s eyes widened. “Of course not!” At least not in the way Silver envisioned aruna. “Silver, I want to ask you something personal, but you don’t need to answer me if it makes you uncomfortable.”

 

Silver shrugged. It wouldn’t do to keep secrets from Cobweb. He wouldn’t bite the hand that fed him.

 

Reading that thought in Silver’s mind upset Cobweb. He had thought Silver was getting better, but now he wasn’t sure anymore. “You don’t owe me anything, Silver. Don’t ever think you need to please me in order to live in Forever. That’s not the case.”

 

“I am sorry… It is hard for me to change my way of thinking in such short time.” Some mornings he woke up and thought he was still in Fulminir.

 

Cobweb sighed. “I don’t want to pressure you. I know this is hard on you. I just want what is best for you and I forget that you need time.”

 

“I am getting better, don’t you think?” Involuntarily, Silver touched the mark on his throat. “These refuse to go away though.”

 

“As I said...it takes time.” Cobweb touched the scar gently. “In time, the scars will fade.”

 

“I wish I could believe that too.”

 

Cobweb realized his work wasn’t done yet and adjusted his plans. “Silver, I wanted to ask you something, remember?” After Silver nodded, Cobweb asked, “Were you always soume during aruna?” Silver looked at him in surprise.

 

“Of course. What else should I have been? It is not appropriate for someone like me to be ouana!”

 

Cobweb moistened his lips and then pressed on. “They told your hostling the same thing exactly, which is a lie, Silver. We are hara. We are both soume and ouana. You were forced to renounce half of your soul and I believe it is time you experienced being ouana as well.”

 

“No,” Silver responded in determination, surprising himself at how firm he sounded. “I refuse to hurt another har.”

 

Cobweb smiled. Silver had seemed meek and obedient a few moments ago, but that had changed. “It doesn’t have to hurt. Silver, I really believe you should take aruna with Ashmael. Assume whatever role you are comfortable with, but do it.”

 

Silver paled. “Why do you want me to do that? Do you want Ashmael to hurt me?”

 

“My dear Silver,” Cobweb said as he tugged at a lock of the long hair. “I understand why you are afraid and why you expect pain, but trust me when I say that there will be none.”

 

“I don’t believe you.”

 

“And that’s exactly why you need to do it.”

 

~~~

 

Darq grinned like mad when Rue allowed him to hold the pearl. As far as Darq was concerned the pearl in his arms was nothing short of a miracle. He couldn’t believe that he himself was capable of hosting and birthing one, even though he was holding the proof that Wraeththu reproduced that way. Well, before he could even start thinking of making pearls, he needed a chesnari at any rate. “It is wonderful,” he declared and reluctantly handed the pearl to Loki, who was already eyeing him impatiently. Grinning at his brother, he asked, “When are you going to drop a pearl?”

 

Geb, who was standing near the doorway, shot Darq a startled look. No way! Loki and he weren’t making any pearls yet!

 

“Not for a very long time,” Loki replied and giggled. “I am enjoying it just being the two of us.” He heard Geb’s relieved sigh and his smile broadened. “But I will care for this little one whenever you need a minder.”

 

“I will remember that offer,” Caeru replied and offered Velaxis some food. Velaxis hadn’t felt up to eating during the first few days and Rue had respected that. However, five days later, he was eager to get as much food as possible inside his chesnari. With relief, he watched Velaxis eat happily. Caeru sat down and studied his family. He was happy that everything had worked out in the end.

 

~~~

 

Ashmael drew in a deep breath to steady himself and then knocked on the door to Silver’s room. Although they were practically sharing it, he still felt it was proper to introduce himself and not to storm inside.

 

“I know it’s you, Ashmael. You can come inside.” Silver had been expecting the blond har ever since Cobweb and he’d had that discussion. He looked at Ashmael when the other har entered the room. Feeling nervous, he shifted restlessly on the bed he was sitting on. “Did Cobweb talk to you?”

 

Ashmael nodded his head and sat down on the edge of the bed. “He is right, Silver. You need to experience aruna in a different way – a loving one. I offered before…” He fingered a lock of Silver’s hair. “You can be ouana, Silver. If that’s what you are afraid of. You don’t need to be soume.” Being soume would be a novel experience for Ashmael. With his past lovers, he had always been ouana, but for Silver he was willing to change and was also curious as to how it felt to be soume during aruna. “What do you think? Please talk to me.”

 

Silver shrugged and refused to make eye contact at that point. “I already told Cobweb that I am not interested.”

 

“But you should be.” Ashmael took a risk and leaned in closer. First, he brushed Silver’s lips with his own and then pressed onto them. Silver reacted with surprise, but didn’t pull away so Ashmael deepened the old-fashioned kiss. “That’s how humans used to express their feelings for each other.”

 

Silver blinked in surprise. Humans were figures that belonged in tales of old. He had never encountered one and didn’t know what they were like, but he did like being touched that way. “They kissed.”

 

“Yes, they kissed.” Ashmael traced the outline of Silver’s bottom lip with his thumb. “We however do things a little bit differently.” Not giving Silver a choice in the matter, he claimed the other har’s lips again and this time, he carefully shared breath with Silver. He was very cautious about what he shared with the younger har. No images of dark wild passion, but rather pictures of them touching innocently. Drawing back, he found that Silver was panting and staring at him. “That’s the first step to aruna.”

 

Silver had shared breath before, but back then, it hadn’t been like this. Hara had forced brutal images into his mind and had loved to see him cower in fear. With Ashmael things were different. “I liked that,” he said, voicing his surprise.

 

“I thought you might. Let’s do it again, shall we?” Ashmael took Silver’s smile as a yes and shared breath with him again.

 

~~~

 

Silver was beyond nervous. He felt terrified. Ashmael had closed the door behind him and he felt trapped in the room. The prospect of taking aruna with Ashmael was enough to make Silver into a nervous wreck. In spite of what they had told him, he couldn’t believe that aruna would be pleasurable. He watched as Ashmael took off his clothes and it dawned on him that he was supposed to get naked too. Reluctantly, he removed his shirt and jeans and then waited for Ashmael to make his next move. It frustrated him that he didn’t know what to expect. Ashmael had told him that he wanted Silver to be ouana, but that was something Silver couldn’t imagine doing.

 

“You are much too tense,” Ashmael declared and advanced on Silver. “Don’t worry, Silver. If you start to panic, just say stop. But I promise you, we will take aruna today.” Like Cobweb, Ashmael thought it was important that Silver was instructed the right way in aruna.

 

Silver was as tense as a bow when Ashmael pressed his lips against his. Sharing breath was something Silver liked and it didn’t intimidate him so he started to relax under Ashmael’s experienced mental caresses. The emotions and thoughts which Ashmael poured into his mind helped relax him further, but he remained on guard. Once Ashmael let go of his lips, Silver asked, “I don’t want to draw this out. Can we do this quickly?”

 

Ashmael arched an eyebrow in surprise. “Usually I prefer to take my time with my partners.” He had hoped for a few hours of rooning, but one look at Silver’s stressed expression showed that the young har might bolt from the room if he got the chance. “All right then.” Ashmael led Silver over to the bed. “Kneel on the bed.”

 

Silver swallowed hard but did as he was told. Instead of merely kneeling on it, he bent forward and placed his hands on the bed so he was on all fours. This was familiar. He knew what to expect and could prepare for the pain.

 

“Not like that.” Ashmael knelt in front of Silver and pushed him upright again. “Just remain like that.”

 

Silver didn’t know what to make of this development, but complied. He sat back until his buttocks rested his heels. Ashmael seemed pleased by that, which confused Silver further.

 

Ashmael ran his fingers down Silver’s chest and noted that the young har was turning soume. That was not according to plan and he reacted by caressing the ouana-lim which was trying to retreat. “I want you to be ouana for me, Silver. Don’t turn soume now.” His lips brushed the sensitive skin of Silver’s neck and he sucked slightly. Silver tensed further, but Ashmael knew that they had to get past this stage before they could actually take aruna. Sharing breath with Silver again, he sent the young har images of them taking aruna with Silver being ouana. He hoped the trick would work. The young har was way too tense.

 

Silver swayed when the strange images penetrated his mind. He had never pictured himself in that role before, but his body seemed to like the idea and his ouana-lim opened to display gray and green petals. /Yes, that is it./ Ashmael’s voice was in his head and Silver watched the other har with big eyes. Ashmael’s fingers teased his ouana-lim and Silver couldn’t deny that he liked the sensations they drew forth from him. He peeked below Ashmael’s waist and saw that the other har had turned soume. It felt wrong, but in another way, also incredibly right.

 

Ashmael inched closer to Silver. He never broke eye contact or stopped sharing breath with the younger har. Although he had been soume before – albeit very rarely – he felt inexperienced. He had taken on the male aspect of his race so often that he had lost touch with his female side. Oh, Vaysh would have loved this! Seeing him turn soume and feeling as bashful as a har on the first night of his feybraiha!

 

“Are you ready, Silver?” Ashmael squatted on the bed and positioned himself so he could sink down onto Silver’s ouana-lim.

 

“Please, I don’t want to hurt you,” Silver whispered. “Don’t do this.”

 

“There won’t be any pain for either of us,” Ashmael replied. “Now let me prove that to you.” Slowly, because he wanted Silver to have a chance to feel the difference between pelki and aruna, he started to lower himself, taking in the stem that now blossomed inside him. “See, there is no pain.” Silver’s face was impossible to read and Ashmael had to resort to mind touch to make sure the younger har wasn’t having a panic attack. Ashmael kept his mind open so Silver could experience his feelings too.

 

“But there always was pain in the past.” Silver raised his arms and enfolded Ashmael in a hug. Ashmael rested his head against Silver’s shoulder and they remained like that, locked in aruna for what seemed an eternity.

 

In the end, Ashmael couldn’t take the sweet ache any longer and thrust against Silver. “Let me guide us toward completion.”

 

Silver felt too entranced to do anything but nod. Ashmael started to move in earnest and Silver clung to the more experienced har. He had never taken aruna like this before and the sensation overwhelmed him. Crying out softly against Ashmael’s shoulder, his body searched and found the release it so badly craved.

 

Ashmael felt like a fool for forgetting what pleasure could be found in being soume. When Silver’s ouana-lim delivered the bite to his center, he flung back his head and screamed his pleasure. Afterwards, they clung to each other and, to Ashmael’s surprise, it was Silver who steadied *him* instead of the other way around.

 

“I didn’t believe you,” Silver whispered into Ashmael’s ear. “I am glad you showed me.” If Cobweb and Ashmael hadn’t urged him to take aruna, he would have always believed that aruna was about pain and humiliation. But now he knew better and he loved Ashmael for showing him the truth.

 

~~~

 

“Rue? Something is happening.” Velaxis poked the pearl’s brittle exterior and the first crack appeared. Caeru, who was spooned up behind him, moved and together they stared at the pearl in wonder. “In a few moments, we will see our harling for the very first time.” Velaxis whispered, unwilling to disturb the moment.

 

Caeru wrapped his arms around Velaxis from behind and bit his lower lip. He remembered how Wolf had freed himself of the shell when his son had hatched and now he was going to witness that miracle all over again. “We will hold Karma in our arms in a minute…” That fact made him feel nervous and excited.

 

A finger poked through the opening before the rest of the hand followed. With a firm push, the harling broke away more of the shell and his arm appeared as well.

 

“Vel, it’s really happening.” Rue wanted nothing more than to share breath with Velaxis, but he didn’t dare look away for he might miss the moment the harling emerged from the pearl.

 

Velaxis squeezed Caeru’s fingers and his tongue popped out to lick at his bottom lip. That gesture betrayed his nervousness. Velaxis gasped the moment blond hair spilled from the exterior and their harling appeared. “Oh…” He groaned softly and reached for the harling, who had Rue’s eye color, but Velaxis’ hair. “Karma, welcome to our lives.”

 

The harling looked at the two hara, decided he liked them, and started to crawl toward them. Velaxis caught Karma in his arms and cradled his harling against his chest. “I am your hostling,” he said. “My name is Velaxis – well, Vel. And this is Rue, your father.”

 

Caeru’s heart missed a beat at seeing the intelligent look in the harling’s eyes. It never ceased to amaze him that their harlings already possessed such an awareness of the world when they were born. “You are my son, Karma. We will always love and care for you.”

 

Karma, pleased that he had finally been able to leave the confines of his pearl, managed to wrap strands of Velaxis’ hair around his little fists and smiled at them. He had all the time in the world to get to know his father and hostling.

 

~~~

 

“Come on, you must be hungry too!” Ashmael tried to lure Silver out of the room so that they could have dinner. “Nohar will see that you took aruna! Stop worrying about that.” It amused and frustrated him at the same time that Silver had turned bashful all of a sudden. “Nohar is going to comment.” Well, that might not be true. Cobweb might and it *did* show that they had taken aruna. Ashmael dismissed the thoughts since he was hungry and desperate for food. “Silver, stop stalling!”

 

Silver sighed and stepped into the corridor. His long hair was a mess and he had failed to detangle it. He needed to wash and then comb it when it was still wet.

 

Ashmael grinned and pulled Silver down the corridor. Silver’s cheeks possessed a lovely pink hue, which spoke of past arousal and the pupils were still a bit dilated. He prayed Cobweb would keep any comments to himself, for Silver might run for cover if Cobweb said anything.

 

~~~

 

Silver was relieved when he realized that not everyhar was attending dinner that evening. Only Cobweb and Swift were present and he started to calm down a bit. He seated himself opposite Cobweb and felt nervous when Ashmael sat down next to him and placed his hand on his arm. The gesture revealed how intimate they had become during the last hour.

 

Cobweb grinned. “You must be hungry.” One look and mind touch had been enough to realize what had happened and he was happy for them.

 

Silver forced himself to eat some of the meat and potatoes, trying to look everywhere except at Ashmael or Cobweb. To his surprise, it was Swift who spoke up.

 

“Ashmael is quite the catch,” Swift commented. “The two of you seem well-suited and I am happy for you.” The alert har had also reached the correct conclusion that Ashmael and Silver had taken more than *just* aruna. These two were on their way to becoming chesna.

 

Silver resorted to smiling thankfully. What else could he do but accept the compliment?

 

“You will like Immanion,” Swift added, unsuspecting he was about to upset Silver.

 

“Immanion? Why?” Silver knew that the Tigrons’ court was located there. Ashmael had told him about the Gelamig and Cobweb had explained their history to him. “Why would I want to go there?”

 

“Because Ashmael lives there of course.” Swift realized his mistake too late. “You didn’t know that?”

 

“I didn’t tell Silver yet.” Ashmael wondered how the younger har was going to react to hearing who he had just taken aruna with. “Did Cobweb already tell you about the Tigrons and the Hegemony?”

 

Silver didn’t like the direction their conversation was taking, but he had no choice but to nod. “He did.”

 

“There are several Hegemony members and I am one of them. I am in charge of all military affairs.” Ashmael hoped he had managed to explain his place in the Hegemony to Silver. He didn’t want any misunderstandings. “I don’t usually live in Forever, but in Immanion. I am here on… vacation,” he explained after a moment’s thought.

 

Silver felt like he was losing his emotional footing. “Does that mean you are leaving me?”

 

Swift wished he hadn’t brought Immanion up. He should have been more careful, but the damage was done.

 

/Don’t feel bad,/ Cobweb told his son. /Silver had to find out one day./ It was only too bad that Silver had to find out right after taking aruna with Ashmael.

 

“I am not leaving you, Silver.” Ashmael rubbed Silver’s fingers. “I am under no obligation to return to Immanion, except if a war broke out.” He frowned. “And even if I did have to go back, you would come with me. I won’t be separated from you.”

 

Silver blinked in surprise. “You want me to accompany you? But they surely know…They know…who I am and where I hail from?”

 

Ashmael shook his head. “Nohar except for Cobweb, Snake, Swift, and me knows about your past. Should you accompany me to Immanion you will be treated with due respect. They don’t know what occurred in Fulminir.”

 

“But you do,” Silver said, addressing Swift.

 

“Cobweb told me. He felt I had to know, but he didn’t tell Tyson or Moon.”

 

“I want you to decide whether you want them to know or not,” Cobweb added. “Look at it as a challenge, Silver. You know that you can always return to Forever. Should Ashmael be called back to Immanion you can either stay here or accompany him. You can always come back here.”

 

Silver considered everything they had said and couldn’t deny that he felt curious where Immanion was concerned because Ashmael lived there and had his life there.

 

~~~

 

“Ash? There was a message for you in the ethers today.” Cobweb joined Ashmael and Silver in the sun room. Silver was drawing and seemed at peace. Cobweb smiled at seeing the healthy blush on Silver’s face. Ever since Ashmael had ‘cured’ Silver of his fear of aruna, they were rooning quite frequently.

 

“What kind of message?” Ashmael asked suspiciously.

 

“There has been an addition to the Aralis dynasty. Apparently Rue fathered a pearl.”

 

Silver listened closely. He knew those names and was eager to learn more.

 

Ashmael was surprised to hear that. “Who is the hostling?”

 

“Velaxis.”

 

Ashmael’s jaw dropped. He remembered the fair har in detail. He also remembered the way Velaxis had told him off when he had tried to call in on his services. “And Pellaz allowed that?”

 

“Apparently he instigated the whole affair.” Cobweb peeked at Silver’s drawing and found that the younger har was drawing Ashmael again. Such sweet young love! “The harling has hatched and Pellaz ‘invites’ you to return to the palace so you can meet Karma.”

 

Ashmael grunted. “I had no intention of returning to Immanion yet, but I can’t ignore his summons. I don’t want to offend Pell or, even worse, Rue.” The Tigrina would get back at him in his own way. “What do you say, Silver? Are you ready to face this challenge and head for Immanion? I promise I won’t leave your side and we will come back to Forever the first moment we can.”

 

Silver lay down the coal he used to sketch with and shrugged. “I don’t think I will ever be ready to face the hara in Immanion, but I don’t want to be separated from you either. I will join you on this trip.” He shivered though, feeling apprehensive about the welcome he would get in Immanion.

 

~~~

 

“I heard that Ashmael is scheduled to arrive in Immanion tomorrow.” Tremors shook Vaysh’s frame as he strode into the room. He immediately headed for Phade. “I will need you at my side these next few days.”

 

Phade kissed Vaysh’s hair. “I will be there.”

 

~~~

 

Ashmael, Cobweb, Snake, and Silver stood outside the house and waited for Paran to appear from the Otherlanes. Paran would be bringing an extra sedu which Ashmael and Silver would share since the young har had no experience handling them. Cobweb had considered accompanying Silver to Immanion, but Snake had pointed out that it was Ashmael’s task as Silver’s chesnari to do so. He had been delighted to hear Ashmael declare Silver and him chesna. Cobweb had hoped that would happen, but he had needed to hear it in order to believe it.

 

“Take good care of my son,” Cobweb told Ashmael as he pressed a kiss onto Silver’s brow. “And return him to me quickly.”

 

“I will. Traveling by sedu, Immanion and Forever are only minutes apart.” Ashmael’s gaze shifted away from Cobweb and toward the lightning that announced Paran’s arrival. Paran however didn’t appear alone. He brought the extra sedu, but there was also another rider at his side. For one crazy moment, Ashmael thought Vaysh was accompanying Paran, but then he realized his mistake. It wasn’t Vaysh...it was Pellaz!

 

Pellaz slid off of Peridot’s back and took in Ashmael’s appearance. He had sent the invitation on purpose to force Ashmael to contact him. “I hope you don’t mind that I use this as an excuse to visit with Cobweb and Snake, even though I can only spend a few moments with them.” Pellaz first greeted his brother and then hugged Cobweb. “My heart urges me to return here shortly. Maybe in a few days?”

 

Cobweb cocked his head questioningly. “Will you be staying alone? Or…?” Cobweb could have sworn that a blush appeared briefly on Pellaz’ features, but it was gone too quickly to be sure.

 

“I might bring Cal with me.” Pell had been giving Cal’s request to make another pearl some thought and was considering giving in to Cal, but only as long as Cal hosted the pearl. He wasn’t going through the birthing process every again! “If that is okay with you...” In the distant past, Cobweb and Cal had been rivals for Terzian’s affection, but they had managed to sort out their differences and had even been lovers for a while.

 

“Bring Cal. I will enjoy having him here.” Cobweb turned to Ashmael and said, “Remember your promise.”

 

Puzzled, Pellaz fixed Ashmael with a gaze. “What promise?”

 

“I promised Cobweb to keep my chesnari safe.” Ashmael drew in a deep breath and then plunged on. “Pell, this is Silver, Cobweb’s son and my chesnari.”

 

Pellaz thought he had misheard. “I didn’t quite catch that,” he admitted.

 

Silver didn’t think the Tigron that intimidating and risked smiling at Pellaz. “I am Silver, tiahaar.”

 

“And I am Pellaz, but you already knew that,” Pellaz replied, feeling lost. “Cobweb?” He raised his gaze and searched Cobweb’s eyes. Cobweb started to tell him the same story he had told Silver, but in mind touch he shared the truth with him. Pellaz nodded. It was comprehensible why Cobweb had taken Silver in and had lied. “Are you coming to Immanion then, Silver?” How would Vaysh react to the fact that Ashmael was bringing home a chesnari? /He will be pleased, maybe even enthusiastic about it,/ he realized.

 

“Ashmael wants me to accompany him. I must admit though that the thought intimidates me.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Pellaz responded. “I will introduce you to everyhar.”

 

Ashmael groaned. “That is exactly what I am afraid of.”

 

~~~

 

Vaysh nervously tugged at Phade’s hand. At Pellaz’ request, they had joined the small party in the Tigrina’s rooms. Pellaz was throwing Karma his first party and Rue had been delighted that his consort had organized the feast. Normally Caeru was the one trying to convince Pellaz to hold more feasts.

 

“Try to calm down,” Phade murmured and smiled at Karma when the harling caught sight of him. It was a good thing that their party was small. Caeru, Velaxis, Pellaz, Cal, Darq, Loki, and Geb made up the rest of the group. “I understand why you are nervous, but you are only making it worse.”

 

Drawing in a deep breath, Vaysh hoped nohar would notice the additional reason for his nervousness. They had decided not to tell anyhar yet that they had created a pearl. Vaysh wanted to keep it a secret for a few more days so he could get used to the idea that he was hosting. The previous night, Phade and he had taken aruna under the silvery rays of the full moon and Vaysh had opened his cauldron of creation. Throughout aruna he had constantly worried that Velaxis had been wrong and that he couldn’t conceive. Phade however had convinced him differently and he had finally believed it when they had created their pearl.

 

“Pell told me that Ashmael has a chesnari,” Vaysh said, needing to talk about the matter again. He had already talked to Pellaz about it in depth, but he needed to discuss it again.

 

And lovely Phade, although they had already covered the subject, obliged Vaysh again. “His name is Silver, isn’t it?”

 

Vaysh nodded firmly. “And he appears to be Cobweb’s son, which surprises me. You know how dark-haired Cobweb is and Pell told me that Silver is very fair.”

 

Although he had told Vaysh this before, Phade answered again. “Don’t worry about Ashmael. He is old enough to make his own decisions. Maybe you will even like Silver!”

 

Vaysh didn’t know how he felt about Ashmael bringing back a chesnari. In a way, he was happy for Ashmael because he wanted his ex to have a chesnari, but a different part of him wondered if things would be awkward when they met.

 

“They are here,” Phade murmured, thinking it wise to warn his chesnari.

 

Turning around slowly, Vaysh steeled himself for the upcoming conversation, but once he looked at Ashmael and Silver and saw them holding hands, he realized he’d had no reason to feel nervous. Silver already did and Ashmael was doing his best to comfort the other har. “He is very fair… Pell was right about that.”

 

Phade pulled his chesnari along with his arm curled around Vaysh’s waist. “Vaysh, you are blond too.”

 

Vaysh smiled nervously. “I keep forgetting that.” He allowed Phade to pull him along and was still smiling when he met Ashmael’s gaze. But then something strange happened. Their minds pulled toward each other and they were communicating in mind touch without wanting to do so. /Ash, what’s happening?/

 

/You wanted to find new common ground… That’s what’s happening. We are still friends, Vaysh. Seems like things worked out for the both of us. It is quite a shock to see you blond again, but I like it./

 

Vaysh blushed and even though he realized that Phade and Silver were getting suspicious, he couldn’t stop himself and said, /Nohar knows yet…so please don’t tell anyhar… Well, maybe Silver once you are alone, but I am with pearl./

 

Ashmael couldn’t quite hide his surprise and Silver gave him a worried look. “I am sorry, Vaysh, but…”

 

Vaysh slowly nodded. “But make sure *they* don’t hear it.” He inclined his head in the direction of the Aralis dynasty.

 

Ashmael leaned in and whispered into his chesnari’s ear, “Vaysh is with pearl.” Silver’s eyes widened and his gaze dropped to look at Vaysh’s waist. “It doesn’t show like it now,” Ashmael added and chuckled. “I am happy for you and Phade, Vaysh.” It was final then. Vaysh had chosen Phade to be chesna with and was hosting his pearl. “You made the right decision.”

 

Vaysh hoped he wasn’t offending Silver, who looked fairly lost, and replied, “And you made the right decision too when you let me go – or rather chased me off.”

 

Ashmael was stunned that Vaysh had figured it out. “How…?”

 

“I talked to Pell and Phade of course. They helped me accept my new life.” Since he had closed this chapter of his life, he addressed Silver. “I am sorry that I monopolized Ashmael... We had to sort out certain matters. Silver, I hope that we can become friends. I would like that very much.” Phade rubbed the small of his back and Vaysh leaned back against his chesnari so Phade could embrace him from behind. “Are you ready to meet the harling?”

 

Silver nodded. Ashmael had told him bits and pieces of his relationship with Vaysh and he didn’t feel offended at all. He figured they needed closure. “I am.”

 

“Then follow me.” Vaysh led the way with Phade and Ashmael and Silver followed.

 

~~~

 

Rue, who had more experience in handling harlings, was acting like a pro while Velaxis was still trying to figure out why Karma delighted in tugging at his hair. “Don’t do that please,” Vel pleaded and groaned when Karma laughed and tugged again.

 

Phade whispered into Vaysh’s ear, “We will have our own harling in two months. Do you think you are up to raising one?”

 

Vaysh nodded and looked at Phade from over his shoulder. “You will make a good father. I know that.”

 

Kissing Vaysh’s cheek, Phade let his gaze drift off to Silver, who stood timidly at Ashmael’s side. “Do you feel it too?”

 

Vaysh rested the back of his head against Phade’s shoulder and whispered, “Yes, they are chesna. I am happy for them.”

 

Vaysh took in the scene in front of him. Ashmael and Silver were giving each other loving looks, Karma loved playing with Velaxis’ hair, and Pellaz had officially declared the harling as a potential heir to the Aralis throne even though it was highly improbable that Karma would ever become Tigron. That title would probably go to Darq or Loki.

 

Feeling happy, Vaysh pressed back and snuggled deeper into Phade’s embrace. In two months’ time another harling would enter this world and then Vaysh’s life would be complete. Then, he would have everything he had ever wanted.

 

The end


End file.
